- [Narrator] Hey, Psyc2Goers,
let's just be real for a second.
Relationships are hard.
It takes a lot of work
and a lot of practice to get things right
in a relationship since they're all different.
But are there some universal no-nos
that we should be aware of?
Yes, no matter how old, new, strong
or weak your relationship is,
there are many habits we form that can harm a relationship.
Let's avoid that whole minefield all together.
Here are six habits that can harm any relationship.
Number one, not having clear and open communication.
Communication is arguably one of
if not the most important thing in a relationship.
It's not just about talking though,
it's also about listening and reacting.
Do you and your partner know
that you can come to each other with anything?
Do you both talk about what's going on
in your personal lives?
This is a sign of a strong relationship.
But if you're scared to tell your partner something
because of their potential reaction,
or even not telling them something
because you assumed they already know,
these are all signs of poor communication skills,
which rob the relationship of the bonding experience.
Number two, projecting your feelings onto your partner.
Take something as simple as dinner.
You maybe had a rough day,
so you look for a quick dinner option like takeout.
If your partner asks you what you wanna do for dinner,
you might assume they want you to cook.
But in reality,
your partner doesn't know how you're feeling.
And you're kind of projecting your thoughts
and feelings onto your partner
when they really just wanted to know
what's for dinner.
Thinking for your partner
and assuming can severely damage any relationship.
Number three, having boundary issues.
Boundaries are important in relationships.
When it comes to boundaries,
you wanna use the three C's,
clear, consistent, and communicated.
Let's say you do an artsy hobby and don't like it
when people touch your supplies,
is the boundary clear?
Is it all supplies or just paints?
Is this boundary consistent?
Do you not want your partner to touch the supplies ever
or is it just whenever you feel upset at them?
Is the boundary communicated?
Did you ask them politely not to touch your supplies
or are you assuming they know?
Once a clear, consistent,
and communicated boundary has been set,
show that person you respect and care about them
by respecting their boundary.
If they don't like me touching their supplies, I won't.
If I need supplies for a project,
I can ask if they would mind me using something.
If they do, I can get my own.
Number four, showing little to no affection.
Affection and intimacy are incredibly important
for our relationship.
This doesn't just mean physical.
There are many ways to show affection
and to be intimate.
Some appreciate acts of service, gratitude,
or a more traditional physical display of affection.
No matter what your partner's love language is,
it's very important to show them you care in their way.
If your partner's love language is act of service,
maybe make them a special lunch with a cute note
to take with them instead of giving hugs and kisses.
If you're giving someone hugs and kisses
when their love language
isn't personal displays of affection,
they will not see this as sweet,
and instead might see this as annoying
or crossing a boundary.
Need to know how to work with your partner's love language?
Watch "Five Ways to Work with Your Partner's Love Language."
Number five, taking your partner for granted.
When relationships begin,
we all like to put our best foot forward.
Maybe you keep your room a little cleaner,
maybe you cook a little more to show off your skills,
but as the relationship progresses,
you might notice you do all the cooking and cleaning.
Your partner, they receive all the benefits
of the work you're doing,
and they're quick to say when something isn't done.
This is a huge red flag
that your partner takes you for granted.
And maybe eventually all those little things you did
to show them you care are draining and feel required.
This is a surefire way to suck the happiness
out of a relationship.
Relationships should always be give and take,
where you're both contributing
based on your personal interests and skills.
And number six, not giving each person enough alone time.
Have you ever heard someone say
that you can't pour from an empty cup?
What about you can't love someone else
unless you learn to love yourself?
Yeah, it's cliche, but the cheesy sayings are true.
When you get into a new relationship,
it feels good to be with someone,
to have someone to do stuff with,
and just have someone around.
But that can't happen 24/7.
In order to be there for your partner,
you need to make sure your battery is at 100%.
This means making time for your friends,
and your hobbies,
along with making time for your significant other.
Too much together time can make it easy to get bored
or tired of someone,
which can ruin any bond.
Did any of these points sound familiar,
or maybe you couldn't relate to these,
but you might know someone who would.
If so, please share this video with others
who might benefit.
Let us know what you learned in the comments below.
The references and studies used
are listed in the description.
As always, keep your eye on (indistinct)
for more "Psych2Go" content.
Wanna get more information about what behaviors
can ruin a relationship?
Check out "10 Behaviors That Destroy Relationships."
Thanks so much for watching,
and until next time, take care.