What happens when 800 of the world's most elite footballers...
and their managers live together under one roof?
Players stop being polite...
and start getting Re-al.
This is...
The Champions.
I am so sick of all the vanity and the egos in Paris.
That is why next season, I'm going to Miami.
If you come at Napoli, be prepared to get a pizza me...
Ever since I was a young boy, I dreamed of playing for Juv...
Piemonte Calcio
And just remember, don't overlook Olympiacos!
A red card this early in the morning?
I didn’t realize the refs could see into my dreams.
I'm afraid It’s not that kind of red card...
...it’s worse.
Aye yai yai.
So every year, the winner of the Champions League hosts a ball in their honor.
I can say from experience, it’s usually not very fun for the losers.
But this year is different, because everybody loves Liverpool!
I can feel the excitement all over the house!
I'm not going.
Bup-bup, Razz, we have to go.
We have to show them that we can handle anything they throw at us...even a…a...
An insufferable Liverpool wankfest?
Yes…even an insufferable Liverpool wankfest.
The festivities are about to begin, so please take your seats.
What's this, we've got no silverware?
Barcelona, we didn’t mean to put you front and center,
but unfortunately, all the corners were taken too quickly!
Before we begin, I want to thank a special person,
without whom we would not be here today, Mr. Loris Karius.
Thank you for showing our American overlords the importance
of spending a lot of money on a competent keeper.
Well, we’ve got some special treats for you tonight, folks.
Liverpool greats, old and new,
will share with us their favorite memories and what this title means to them.
First up, Captain Fantastic himself, Steven Gerrard!
Yikes. OK. Well, next up is, Robbie Fowler!
Moving on now to number 38 of me top 50 list
of Liverpool inside jokes that only true scousers would understand...
...In the Netherlands, we have a saying, “Je staat nooit alleen,”
or in English...you’ll never walk alone.
And that is why we need more Liverpool players in the media!
We should never have to talk alone.
Bleedin’ hell. Seriously, we can’t just leave?
No! We must stay. Because when we win this year…
then they must stay.
Kevin.
And then there was the 2005 Champions League semi-final against Chelsea.
What’s the matter, Lampard? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.
Ugh, Liverpool. Such bloody wankers, am I right?
And now, we’d like to play a special video,
to show you why in Liverpool, this means more.
Welcome to Liverpool, where everything matters a little more.
Other teams have supporters. We have a family.
Other teams have managers. We have a guardian angel with perfect teeth.
We are the most special team, in the most special city,
with the most fun, likeable players and and the catchiest songs.
We are Liverpool...
This means more. Your team means less.
Please give me a red card! I’ll do anything! Anything!
Just please eject me, man!
And now you’re all very lucky.
'Cause we’ve got a very special musical guest,
a legendary Liverpool musician...
Let’s give it up for...
Jamie Webster!
Who the hell is Jamie Webster?
You don't know Jamie Webster?
Mo Salah, Mo Salah, my heart is full of Liverpool,
and if I die, I hope I go to heaven,
and heaven is actually Anfield, and god is Robbie Fowler.
Mo Salah, Mo Salah, I love you so much I would eat your poop.
Oh, come on. This is painful. Everyone else is leaving.
Yes. But we’re not like everyone, Razza.
Remain classy. Don’t let them break you.
Wow...that was truly unbelievable.
And now, I want to do a toast, to the incredible feat of winning the Champions League,
and doing so without spending all the money that Manchester City spends,
oh my god it’s like a fantasy land over there..am I right?
So let’s all raise our cups!
Ah. Is there is anything sweeter than drinking from Ol’ Big Ears?
I can think of one thing.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Drinking from the Premier League trophy!
But, of course, Liverpool wouldn’t know.
Whoa. He hasn't looked at the table, has he?
Seriously. So self-absorbed.
No wonder everyone hates Man City.
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