My name is Summer, and I served eight years in the US
Navy as a photographer and videographer.
I deployed to Iraq for six months.
I was with the infantry during the whole time.
Air raids, land raids, just everything that they do, I had
to go with.
Women weren't really allowed to be--
or I still think they're not allowed to be in the front
line infantry.
But I was the combat cameraman assigned to them, and it just
so happens that I was a girl.
And what's always hard in that situation is you walk in the
door and you're instantly sized up and judged.
Oh, there's a girl--
dead weight.
It's just like that.
They quickly realized that that's not me.
That's definitely not me.
And the challenge for me was not just keeping up, but
stepping my game up to not let those limitations hinder them.
I would go out to forward operating bases and stay for a
couple weeks at a time to really build that
relationship with them.
And to kind of challenge that stigma that a cameraman just
comes to take their pictures and then they go.
They don't really know, they don't really have a taste.
As a result, I did see quite a bit.
And at the time you see the things, it's your job, it's
what you do.
As the months went on and things just kept piling, and
piling, and piling, I guess there needed to
be a breaking point.
Something really terrible happened-- a
couple people died.
And when they came back, it was an ugly scene that they
brought back.
And one of my teammates was out there with them.
And she came back with some footage.
The blast had jolted her camera and the mechanics and
everything, so she didn't get much.
I had to create a report, and so I had to take those seven
frames and slow them down.
It wasn't just the video you see, those are my brothers
crawling on the ground.
Those are my brothers, and that's my sister who will
never be the same.
It's just like the world kind of stopped at that moment, but
you roll on.
It's like, I have a job to do.
So a couple weeks went by.
I did take some leave and I'd come back to the command.
I was having issues with proximity of people coming
close to me, or loud sounds and stuff.
That's when I took a step back and on my own volition I went
in and started talking to somebody.
What was prescribed to me was something
called exposure therapy.
Where you take one event, the heaviest, the most painful
one, and he forces you to talk through it.
You want to get mad, but he's just trying to help you.
I wanted so much to feel again that I was willing to do
whatever it would take to do it.
So that was our treatment.
Was the repetitive exposure and talking it through and
forcing myself to emotionally experience it.
Through that structure through his guidance, he started me on
the path of moving through it.
When I first got out, I moved back in with my family.
It was not an easy time.
Unemployed for a long time, move in with your parents--
I didn't take an active role in going to the VA and getting
started there again.
I was offered a job out in Tampa, Florida.
First job offer I'd gotten since getting out.
I registered with the VA here and immediately said OK, I
need to get in with the mental health clinic and met with a
civilian doctor.
Sat with him, and I told him all the things that I had done
with the other fellow.
And he said I think that that's exactly
what we need to continue.
Exposure therapy and medication for anxiety, that
in tandem got us to a point where I could
actually talk about it.
To me that's success.
Being able to then take a overseas assignment to
Afghanistan to teach video productions and broadcast
journalism to Afghans in a combat zone.
I count that as a success.
And I attribute a lot of that to the very intense treatment
that I did receive at the VA.
I can have a conversation, I can make friends, I can talk
about things that are hard.
Yes, my heart starts to get a little heavy when I talk about
it, but it has taught me how to move through that emotion.
You have to think about, is this what I want my life to be
like, this very moment for the rest of my life?
You need to get help, and that takes a good,
hard look in the mirror.
You can find happiness.
You can find joy.
You can find relief.
It's for your own good.
It's for your family's good.
It's for your community's good.
It's for your country's good.