-Hey! Hey, Tootsie Roll, hey!
-What? What do you want now?
-If you were a train, would you be called a "chew-chew"?
[laughs]
-Ugh, is he seriously gonna say that?
-Cut! Take five, Toots.
-I thought you'd never ask. -(Orange) What a poser.
She can't even "roll." [laughs]
-What's-what's going on? Who are you?
-I'm Director Michael Baygle.
You've probably heard of me.
-Yeah, I've heard a "hole" lot about ya. [laughs]
-This video's all right, but it could be bigger and better.
Come on, people. Cue the toaster!
[boom!]
-Whoa! -Cut!
-It's toast. [laughs in awe]
-Cue the stove!
[boom! boom! boom! boom!]
-WHOA! -WHY IS EVERYTHING EXPLODING?
-Cue the title card.
-You know what?
We were doing just fine before you showed up, Michael Baygle.
-Sure you were.
But who wants to be fine when you can be awesome?
Now, meet your new lead actor,
Optimus Prime Rib! [chuckles]
-[deep voice]: Greetings.
[mechanical whirring]
-Whoa!
-There's more to this meat than "meets" the eye. [laughs]
-All right, all right, all right. I'll admit he looks cool,
but what does he do?
-He blows stuff up; that's what.
Optimus, show 'em.
-Whatever you say, Michael.
[boom!]
-WHOA!!!
[rapid firing] [boom!]
-WHOA!!!
[spew! spew!] [boom!]
-Oh, yeah!!
Now we gotta introduce some bad guys into the equation.
-What the-- why?
-So they can all fight and destroy like, you know,
the entire kitchen. Duh.
-Yeah, Pear. -A-doy.
-We LIVE in the kitchen. Argh!
[clank! clank! clank!] -We meet again,
Optimus Prime Rib.
-Megacorn, today I shall destroy you.
-Over my dead cob.
-So be it. -[chuckles]: Oh, yeah!
Time for a slooow-mooo baaattleee.
-[grunts in slow-motion]
-[cries out in slow-motion]
[firing in slow-motion]
-Wait-wait-- how the heck is this happening?
[boom!] -Wow!!!
-Whoa!!!
-This is a blast! [laughs] -Whoa!
-[singsong]: All right. Cue the helicopter.
[boom!] -(Orange and Pear) Whoa!
-Who do I have to hump around here
to get some more explosions? -Uh...?
-Cue the airplaine!
[boom!] -Whaaah!!
-Whoo-hoo! Yeah, baby!
That was definitely worth $5 million!
-Dude, knock it off!
-And now, cue the castoroid!
-Castoroid? I'd expect something a little "meatier." [laughs]
Right, Optimus?
-Ugh, the castoroid-- it's a gigantic bottle of castor oil
hurdling through space and headed for earth.
If it hits, the entire planet will be destroyed.
-WHY WOULD YOU EVER CUE SOMETHING LIKE THAT?
-'Cause it's awesome! Duh!
I'll be in my trailer. Call me when it gets here.
-(Pear) Oh, no. It's getting closer!
Optimus, what's the plan?
-Plan? Why are you looking at me?
-Dude! You've done this, like, three times before!
-And you're welcome. [scoffs]
Besides, I only fight other giant robots.
This is totally outside my wheelhouse.
-(Orange) Well, guys, it looks like we're all gonna die,
so I just want you to know one single thing.
I REGRET NOTHING!!! -[screams]
-I predict impact in five...
four... three...
two... one.
-What the heck? What happened?
-I believe the castoroid fell into a giant plot hole.
-A plot hole? Huh. I guess it makes sense.
It is a Michael Baygle film.
-You mean we're safe? Yeah!
-It's beautiful!
All right, people, that's a wrap! Yeah-ha!
Another blockbuster movie in the can,
directed by me, Michael Baygle, yeah!
I'm the best! Please give me an Oscar.
-Aren't you supposed to yell, "Cut"?
-No, you don't--
no, I meant that we're finished filming.
-Oh. So, does cut mean... Knife?
-Huh? [screams in agony]
-Whoa! Poor Baygle.
Well, at least he got the final director's "cut." [laughs]
Captioned by StreamCaptions.com
[laughs] Knife!