[SERIOUSLY DISTRACTED]
Hey Victoria.
Cool Goth look. What got into you?
Ahh... Elenora Hicoxx I had to go out with her every night this week
She DJed the fashin week party the sun was up when we got out.
I started like a Vampire
And here I though you are so freakin excited.
[THREE DAYS EARLIER] I am so freakin excited!
I will pick you up at [inaudible] 6PM
Guys, Guess who is going to Carrie Delovin's launch party tonight?
I hate you.
And I just rang the DJ of the event, Elenor Hicoxx. Wha...
What! You are kidding.
No I don't kid.
SHe has the best Instagram. Plus she is so pretty. And she is british.
And she is my new BFF. BRB you guys. I am gonna take a Victoria lap Ko-Kao.
BRB! You really need to start doing that every time you sign someone.
I love bloting violate cardio. Phao phao phao!
Thats my airhorn.
Peep peep peep. That's a car. That's my airhorn.
Do you have a cold? Peep pe peep.
Yeah, this is good.
Im just gonna
Delivery, Elenor sent you breakfast and these flowers.
Really cute.
Aww... No No. This is how she get me you guys. She dangles cool stuffs in front of me.
You are living the dream.
Listen to this text.
Hi V its El. Hope you had a snice night last night.
The guy on the door was asking about you. So funny. He he he. Chao.
Ha ha ha
She says chao? OMG she just tagged me in this Insta.
Unreal
Ohhoo. Thats a really good picture of you.
I am at sleep. Facetime, facetime. New client. You have to.
You have to. New client.
You guys are no help.
Hi lovely. Ignore my last message. We put a charity hour tonight.
So I need you to pick up my dress. Okay?
And oh darling I am so sorry I forgot. I am being brain dead.
We also got a new club opener tonight.
So I'll text you the addy. Kisses. Bye. Byee
I said bye too
Uhh... noo. Why... why...
Humm... I'll go with you tonight.
Really? Heck ya.
I would go but I have to go to whole foods. I am taking a class on aloe.
[THE NEXT MORNING]
At 4Am she made me do espresso shots and then we had to go dancing again.
I have so much glitter inside of my underwear. So much glitter
She texts me constantly. She wants to be on the list of every cool party. Its crazy
Look. clients always wants their publicists one of three things.
A mother, a brother, a whore in the kitchen.
Its hard when they want all three. For real.
Back in the days. And I am sorry to repeat myself
I had to go to all Jared Letto's gigs and pretend to like it.
I mean don't get me wrong. The man is gorgeous.
He looks like my phony boy. Like Jesus, yum yum juicy fruit.
But jeez, Thirty Seconds to Mars. What does it even means?
How do you do this every night? I don't.
I have a daughter. Thats why I hire young publicist such as yourself to do all the work for me. Easy.
Breezy. Taco preezy.
Hey, could you call her and tell her I am on another job tonight?
Victoria, does that look like its something i would do for you?
It was worth of shot.
My advice, learn to deal with her.
And learn to get solid REM sleep at any five minute cab ride.
And bring a change of panties. You don't want glitters gumming it up
Oh how do you spell uterus?
U T E R U S
Ah... ooo... images. Ha ha ha.
I'll go get that panty too.
Oh my gosh.
Hey thanks so much for coming in person.
No problem. I did't wanna do this over text.
Ahh... ow man. I dont wanna say.
Girl. This is very difficult for me.
Because the time that we've spent together past few days, its been amazing
Its just some of the most fun I've ever had.
Like seriously... Oh, before I forget.
I've got a present for you.
What is it?
Tickets for Tom Ford's birthday party in Menorca.
Are you kidding me?
His team sent them over.
What! Wait a minute. How am I gonna go to Menorca?
We leave Tuesday. My private jet. You can thank my dad.
Thank you. Waht! Thank you. Thank you, Ahh...
This is so cool.
This is the coolest. I love to hook up my team for their hard working dedication.
And I am dedicated, yes.
So, what it is you wanted to talk about?
Ahh... cool DJ staff.
Yes, perfect. I've got a big gig coming up in Morocco.
And I want me make a statement. Okay.
I'm just thinking about showing up nude. Okay.
Okay. But its not going to be my body.
Not my body. We will have a stand in. And I am thinking its gonna be a projection
Yes, what do you think?
Yes I think I want to get you all the things you want.
I am so happy because I have so many other things that I want.
[ABOVE AVERAGE] [POPSUGAR]