-I love you guys. Thank you very, very much.
Enjoy yourself. Enjoy yourself.
Guys, today, Americans went to the polls for Election Day.
-Whoo. -Yeah. This morning,
on Instagram, Taylor Swift encouraged
her 275 million followers to vote.
And long story short, she's now the governor
of Kentucky and Mississippi.
[ Laughter ] That's right.
Yeah. Today is what's known as an off-year election.
Basically, if the midterms and presidential elections
are Target, today was Marshalls.
[ Laughter ]
Meanwhile, in Ohio, one of the biggest issues they voted on
was whether or not to legalize marijuana.
[ Scattered cheers ]
You know if it's legal in Ohio
if they changed their name to O-we-hi-yo.
[ Laughter ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
Today -- Today, I noticed tons of people
were walking around with their "I voted" stickers,
and this year, there's actually a bunch of new voting stickers
to choose from. For instance, there's...
[ Laughter ] That's good.
Then there's...
[ Laughter ] Next is...
[ Laughter ] Next, there's...
-That's a big -- [ Cheers and applause ]
Big Issue.
Next is...
[ Laughter ] Next, there's...
[ Laughter ] And, finally...
There you go. Oh, there you go.
Keep an eye out for those.
[ Applause ]
Well, speaking of elections, tomorrow night in Miami,
NBC is airing the third Republican presidential debate.
And once again, former president Trump is not participating.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Yeah. So, tomorrow at 9:00 p.m.,
CBS has "The Amazing Race," and NBC has the opposite.
[ Laughter ]
The debate is at Miami-Dade County Center
for the Performing Arts. Yep, for the Performing Arts.
Because pretending you have a shot
when you're polling at 1%, well, that's acting.
[ Laughter and applause ]
Switching gears, this is exciting.
Today, Barbra Streisand released her new memoir,
and it's nearly 1,000 pages long.
[ Audience "Oohs" ] Yikes.
And the book has already been selected as the one Ron DeSantis
will stand on during tomorrow's debate.
[ Laughter ]
[ Applause ]
1,000 pages.
If you order it online, you have to unbox it
like it's one of those Casper mattresses.
Like, "Whoa!
Wow! How did that fit in that?"
[ Laughter ]
That's right. Barbra Streisand's memoir is almost 1,000 pages.
And get this -- the audiobook is 48 hours long.
-Whoa. [ Audience "Oohs" ]
-What? Of course. It's not easy to read that much,
which is why Streisand actually had a few celebrities
help her read some passages. -Really?
-That's correct. For example,
Michael Caine read this passage.
Probably both.
[ Cheers and applause ]
I mean, like, Mick Jagger read this passage.
[ Cheers and applause ] -Wow!
Wow. -Yeah, no, this is --
-Who else did it? -Stanley Tucci.
-Really? -Stanley Tucci, from his --
his travel show. He's very popular.
-Yeah, Italy. -Obviously, yeah.
But he read this passage.
-Mmm. Mm.
Mm-mm-mmm! Delicious."
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Wow.
He just said, "Mmm." Wow.
-Yeah. Dave Matthews.
-Dave Matthews from Dave Matthews Band.
-Uh-huh. He read this passage.
[ Cheers and applause ] -Wow!
Wow!
And was there anyone else?
-Finally, there was one more person.
-Oh, really? One more?
Could you give me a beat, like, a bo, bo-co, ki?
♪♪
Yeah. Good.
Bruce Springsteen read this passage.
-Oh, really? -Yeah.
There you go. That's -- Thank you very much.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-It's a fascinating... -Wow.
-...fascinating listen. Some business news.
I saw that Nike is suing New Balance and Skechers
for allegedly stealing their shoe-making technology.
-Ooh. [ Audience "Oohs" ]
New Balance said the allegations are untrue,
while Skechers said, "Wow. Nike knows who we are?"
[ Laughter ] "Oh, my...
Hi." [ Giggles ]
"Wow."
Hey, guys. I read that Kahlua
and Absolut Vodka teamed up to create a $100 fragrance
that smells like an espresso martini.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Yeah, it's already been called the number-one scent
to not wear on a job interview.
[ Laughter ]
If you don't have 100 bucks for the espresso martini cologne,
just wait a few weeks and have a mall Santa breathe on you.
[ Laughter ]
"What do you --
What do you want for Christmas this year?"
[ Laughter ]
Some entertainment news.
Apple TV+ just announced that they're making
a new original "Peanuts" movie set in New York City.
-Ooh. -[ Audience "Oohs" ]
-That's good. That makes sense,
because when the subway conductors talk,
they pretty much sound like this.
[ "Peanuts" teacher warbling ]
[ Laughter and applause ]
"This stop? He say it's stopping?"
Yeah, "Peanuts" is back, but let's be honest --
right now, Bluey is looking at Snoopy like,
"You're the Skechers to my Nike."
[ Laughter ]
Guys, it is Tuesday.
It is time for WePost. Let's play this game.
-♪ WePost ♪
♪♪
♪ WePost ♪
-Now this is "WePost."
This is where we, as a group, decide something
that we should all post on socials.
Actually, that I'm gonna post on socials.
Okay, yeah. But I'm gonna show you five different posts,
and we are all going to vote on
whether you like each one or not.
You all have voting clickers at your seats?
All right, good. You can vote for all of them, if you like.
You can vote for none of them, if you like.
Whatever you want. We're going to see the results live.
Higgins, Robert Glasper, you guys have your clickers?
Everyone's got their stuff ready to go?
All right. And I will say, I will remind everyone,
not necessarily do they get funnier as they go on.
-Right. [ Laughter ]
-So if you feel like it remotely has a shot,
yeah, why not? Yeah, it's for fun, yeah.
-Some of these are just sentences, right?
-Yes. I'm gonna post whichever one
gets the most likes from all of us
because it's not a me post.
It's a we post. -Oh.
[ Cheering ]
All right. You guys ready?
-Yeah! -Yeah!
-First post is...
[ Laughter ]
-"They were talking about you." -"Why --
Why are they talking about me? Why --
I'm trending."
[ Both laugh ]
All right, cast your votes. Thumbs up or thumbs down.
All right. The votes are in. Let's see the results
for this first one here.
Not bad. Okay.
[ Cheers and applause ] Not good.
Not good, either, but not bad. Yeah. No.
All right. This next one says...
-Oh. Wow.
[ Laughter ]
That did not sound like they liked that one.
-I mean, I thought I liked it, but, no.
-No, apparently not. -Now I'm gonna vote no
on this one. -Sounds like they made
that whole joke out of the first bite.
-No. Yeah. All right. Good. Yeah. All right, let's see.
I don't even know if I want to see the results on this one.
-Do you want to see this one? -I don't really want to see it,
but let's do it. [ Laughter ]
Oh, my... [ Audience exclaims ]
At least you know the clickers work.
[ Laughter ]
Wow! -38.
-Wow. Let me know how you really feel.
Yeah. Oh, my gosh.
I think that first bite is delicious.
-Sure. So is the rest of the pizza.
-Yeah, that's true. [ Laughter ]
It is true. It doesn't quite make sense.
All right. This next one says...
[ Laughter ]
-Come on, that's a good one. Come on.
♪♪
Mom... -I don't know.
It can't get much worse than the pizza one.
All right, let's see the results here.
Oh, yeah, that's very nice. Thank you.
[ Cheers and applause ]
People being ni-- People were being nice.
-Yeah. -People were being very nice.
-Humorous. -That's how great this city is.
They come together when they see --
When they see that you're hurting,
they're right there for you. They go, "Jimmy, come here."
-Then they kick you while you're down.
-"It's not that bad. That pizza one was bad,
but, come on, we're there for you."
I appreciate that, guys.
This next one here says...
[ Laughter ]
♪♪
I don't know. I'm doing it to be nice.
I don't know if this is -- Let's see the results here.
Yeah, yeah, I agree. [ Audience "Oohs" ]
-[ Laughs ] -Tartar sauce walked...
-No, I could tell immediately, they were like,
"No, we were nice, and now we're being real."
[ Laughter ]
I appreciate it. I totally agree with you.
This last one, I feel like this one might do it.
-This one's a good one. -Well, I don't know about that,
but I think this one might be the one that wins.
-Okay. -Yeah.
What was the other one that we have so far in the lead?
-Doc Marten. -Doc Marten, emo boots.
That's funny. Yeah. -Medical degree.
-This one mi-- This is the last one.
If you like it, let me know. If you don't...
Well, you know...
You already have let me know. Okay.
Last one is...
[ Laughter ]
I feel you. -Come on.
I'm kind of feeling. -Come on.
-No, I'm feeling good about this one.
I think this one might be a winner.
I feel good. -It's going to be high.
-Let's see the results right here.
-Whoa! -Oh, yeah!
We have a winner right there! Come on, now!
[ Ding! ]
Futon! I'm gonna post this during the break.
If you happen to see it online,
give that WePost a repost.