I live in a house surrounded by a forest of evergreens
home to all manner of creatures from gentle black bears to Humble Downy woodpeckers I consider
many of the Pines my friends they're excellent listeners and teach me that peace is simply being
not forcing feelings of Joy or ignoring difficult questions it's embracing your story and in that
acceptance finding a sort of relief knowing that honoring your feelings makes you very much alive
and fully present and today I'm celebrating life to dedicating time to Simply Having Fun
January has been a month of transformation I've done my best to not be avoidant in
regards to how I feel particularly when it comes to more uncomfortable questions
strangely enough I've found myself reflecting on the fact that in the scheme of things I will
only be here in my present state for a short time I don't know how long and there is so
much out of my control and I think that so far has been the key to becoming more peaceful it's
not avoiding big questions or the feelings they arise it's being fully aware of them
Mr experienced a long battle with depression and those years partly inspired her to become a
counselor today when I speak to her about feeling anxious and my tendency to overwork she encourages
me to sit with how I feel and to address the fear of the unknown my fear of myself I'm sometimes
afraid I'm not doing enough to leave the world a better place and sometimes I fear I'm doing
too much and not slowing down enough to be in the moment I'm afraid of the Ultimate Reality that my
life is fleeting and that I need to cultivate the life I love not wait for it to happen
I don't know the answers to all the secrets of the world and Beyond I don't know a lot of
things but eventually I just might find out and that's a journey worth pursuing I think
all of these fears come down to a wish to control something that by its very nature
cannot and I know deep down that that wonder and mystery is what makes it all matter that much more
foreign if there is one piece of advice I can pass on from my lovely sister to you is to not
be afraid she was able to manage and transform her mental health when she began letting herself
feel pain love hope it was overwhelming at first difficult but it pushed her to connect
she now says she's neither extremely happy nor unhappy in her daily life she acknowledges her
strong emotions when they arise and in the meantime accepts that she's quietly content
with how things are and that is enough her journey brought her to a deeply spiritual
place I don't know if that would be the same for you but I can assure you that when you open
your heart life may surprise you in unexpected ways and take you somewhere truly astonishing
I have gone ahead and wrapped myself in a blanket because it is quite cold I have
such a low tolerance for the cold it is absolutely ridiculous it isn't just psychological though it's
um like I every year I get chill bains no matter how many pairs of socks I wear how many hot pads I
keep in my shoes I just I don't know why this just can't function apparently it's been a very quiet
day I've also been feeding the birds and my mother has so many bird feeders all around this one tree
in front of the house and there are all types of chickadees and Stellar Jays and Pine siskins and
even a variety of squirrels and Chipmunks We have a family of quail that come visit and eat a lot of
the food and it's quite funny to see around the valley how all the quail get quite slim during
the winter but this one family that lives right next to the house with all these bird feeders gets
quite rotund they get very poof for you by the end of winter they're eating very well January
has been a challenging month but I think a good one I found myself a bit cooped up sometimes but
I have been using that time in order to journal and to reflect and to read quite a few books on
topics that I've been meaning to read lately some were on books for helping people like myself who
have found themselves struggling to let go of work and that is uh something that I've made
multiple videos on in the past and I have improved upon greatly but there is still so much room for
improvement and it is interesting because in a book that I was reading lately they mentioned
about how important it is to let go of control that that is something that so many of us want
to feel in regards to our own lives we want to feel as if we have control over all of it and
of course we do have control in the way that we react to events and for myself and I know for many
people there are often you know small sustainable changes you can make in order to improve your day
and your experience however we don't really have control over what happens to us sometimes
and there are so many things in life that we will never have control on and I think that I have been
in the past quite avoidant with a lot of those feelings and questions and I think now especially
reading a lot about these topics of Letting Go and understanding the impermanence of life and I have
found that instead of avoiding these emotions of the reality of our lack of control in many things
in life I know there was a time in my life when I found it difficult to fall asleep because letting
go of control and relaxing my body and allowing myself to sleep was quite difficult and I think
that is very telling because even if you have no trouble falling asleep sometimes I know that
many of us if not all of us like to feel a sense of control in our lives and these things might
seem scary but I think that the less we avoid them and the more we really talk about them and connect
over them and in a way the beauty of the things that unite us I find so healing especially in
terms of learning how to enjoy today over always thinking about tomorrow and of course embracing
working hard and working towards your goals if you so wish but also remembering what really matters
at the end of the day and making sure you're nurturing those things and those relationships
we cannot control everything we don't know how much time we have here to connect and to love
and to be kind and thoughtful and live the way we wish to live we might as well start
imbuing aspects of that into our daily life even if our situation is not perfect I'm gonna go keep
reading Frog and Toad and Wind in the Willows and mother Westwind and all these books I grew
up with and realized that I aspired to a life living in a little fairy house on a riverbank
and spending time with all the Woodland creatures all day long and getting into Mischief with them
sending all of you my love do take care of yourselves and I will see you so very soon