GREG: THEY ARE JUST SAY NO TO
BOOZE IN THE BLOW.
ACCORDING TO A NATIONWIDE SURVEY
OF MY FAVORITE KIND OF SURVEY,
SMOKING AND DRUG USE AMONG
AMERICAN TEENAGERS HAVE HIT
APING EVERYTHING ELSE IS DOWN
ACROSS THE BOARD COMPARED TO THE
1990s, A DECADE THAT SUCKED SO
IT MAKES SENSE.
REMEMBER 1997?
YEAH, THE YEAR OF BOB, TITANIC,
TERRIBLE FILM AND OF COURSE,
BEANIE BABIES.
THE ONE OR MORE KIDS DID DRUGS
BEEN BACK THEN.
23% REPORT USING DRUGS AT SOME
POINT IN THEIR LIFE AND THAT'S
LIKE A 25th, KIDDING.
70% SMOKE CIGARETTES AT LEAST
DRUGS.
♪
DRUGS. ♪.
GREG: NOT THAT I THOUGHT THAT I
WAS A DOG THAT COULD PLAY WELL
BECAUSE I NEVER TOUCHED A PIANO
IN MY LIFE.
THIS WHOLE THING COMES DOWN TO
WHO GOT THERE FIRST LIKE DRUGS
ARE A FACT OF LIFE BUT WHO'S GOT
THERE FIRST AND SO WE THE
CIVILIZATION SAID WE CAN ONLY
HANDLE ONE THING SO LET'S MAKE
IT ALCOHOL IN BAN EVERYTHING
ELSE.
>> I THINK IT IS UNFAIR TO DRUGS
ALTHOUGH I PERSONALLY DON'T
SMOKE POT BECAUSE I CAN HAVE A
PANIC ATTACK ALL ON MY OWN AND I
WHEN THEY ARE DRUNK ARE A LOT
WORSE THAN THE THING THEY DO
WHEN THEY SMOKE MARIJUANA AND
YET, SOMEHOW ONE IS OUT AND THE
PAIN IS ALSO DANGEROUS.
EMOTIONALLY.
I AM TRYING TO QUIT AND IT'S
HARD.
I DECIDED I WANT TO EXERCISE FOR
ENDORPHINS INSTEAD OF APING FOR
THEM LIKE SOME ROBOT NEAR AND
THINK BABY WILL SAVE MILLIONS OF
LIVES BY GETTING THEM TO STOP
SMOKING CIGARETTES BUT THAT IS
JUST ME AND SENDING MORE PAPER
PRODUCTS.
A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE BEEPING OF
POT.
>> I'M MORE OLD-FASHIONED.
BACK IN MY DAY YOU HAD THAT
WIZARD UP ON IT WAS ALWAYS A
WIZARD OR A UNICORN.
GREG: DON'T SOIL THE UNICORN.
>> I DON'T SMOKE POT, GREG.
GREG: DO YOU DO ANYTHING?
>> I DO DRINK WHISKEY YOU HAVE A
SINGLE GLASS OF WHISKEY BEFORE
YOU GO TO BED, DON'T YOU?
I CALLED IT.
GREG: AND OF COURSE YOU DRINK
THE BLOOD OF YOUR VICTIMS.
[LAUGHTER]
JASON, WE ALL KNOW THAT YOU ARE
HEAVILY INTO DRUGS BUT WHAT ARE
PEOPLE THINK THIS MIGHT HAVE TO
DO WITH SMARTPHONES.
>> THE DECLINE IS GOOD BUT I
THIS TALK OF POT IS I'M GETTING
HUNGRY.
[LAUGHTER]
GREG: WILL BE SPIKED OR DRINK.
>> THAT'S WHAT THEY TELL ME
HAPPENED.
GREG: TIRES, I CAME TO YOU LAST
BECAUSE I DON'T THANK YOU DO
YOU MIGHT BE CORRECT IN THIS
HERE'S THE THING.
THOSE NUMBERS ARE WAY OFF.
ONE BECAUSE ALL THE KIDS TAKE
ADDERALL NOW.
GREG: THAT IS TRUE.
>> TO GET PRESCRIPTIONS NOW.
GREG: GOOD POINT.
>> THERE WAS REAL AND IN THE
'90s.
>> NOT LIKE THERE WAS NOW.
YOU GO TO THE DOCTORS AND YOU
GET A HICK UP AND YOU CAN GET
LIKE IT LIKE A TICTAC.
ANOTHER THING IS GETTING ALCOHOL
RUN?
BACK WHEN KIDS PLAY OUTSIDE AND
YOU WOULD RUN AND GRAB AND TAKE
OFF AND NOW I DOWNLOADED THE.
GREG: I THINK DISTRICT NO, WHERE
DIFFERENT AGE BUT I REMEMBER.
>> I WOULD'VE PUNCHED YOU
REGARDLESS.
GREG: I REMEMBER TRYING TO GET
SOMEONE BY IT FOR ME.
YOU WAIT OUT FOR SOMEONE TO BUY
UP FOR YOU AT 711 AND I GAVE
MONEY TO A YOUNG GENTLEMAN CAME
OUT AND PUNCH ME IN THE FACE
WITH MY BEER IN HIS HAND.
>> THAT IS MESSED UP BUT THE
POINT IS YOU HAD TO BE AMBITIOUS
TO GET ALCOHOL.
>> YOU KNOW WHAT I WOULD DO?
DRESS UP LIKE AN OLD MAN.
GREG: THIS IS SOMETHING YOU HAVE
DONE FOR THAT'S RIGHT.
>> YOU ALWAYS TRY TO LOOK OLDER
19 OR 20 AND I WAS LIKE WHY NOT
GO THE WHOLE AND I WOULD LOOK
OLD MAN.
GREG: WHO WOULD ASK FOR ID IF
YOU HAD THE CANE AND YOU ARE
HUNCHED OVER.
>> THEY WOULD CARRY THE CASE OF
BEER TO MY CAR.
>> THAT IS MY POINT.
YOU HAD TO BE ADVENTUROUS AND
GET IT AND NOW IF THERE IS NOT
BEER YOU WOULD STILL GO TO
COLLEGE AND GET A JOB AND IF YOU
PUT POT FOR YOUR ACHIEVEMENTS
YOU'RE LESS LIKELY TO GO DO
THINGS.
POT SHOULD BE TREATED LIKE A
MARTINI.
YOU HAVE IT AFTER WORK WHEN
YOU'RE SUCCESSFUL.
>> THAT YOU HAVE AMAZING IDEAS
WHEN YOU SMOKE POT.