- So I asked my editors to pull the funniest moments
from the channel.
I really think they pulled the cringiest moments,
but here, enjoy.
Huge thanks for watching all these years.
(rewind sound)
- I'd love to get my flu shots with Dr. Mike
and get a lollipop after.
But now that I'm older can I get--
(gags)
(hysterical laughter)
- I give stickers.
I don't give lollipops. - So shocking.
That was so shocking.
- Was there an emoji or a word?
(wheezes)
- A letter?
Or a word?
Full word?
Spelled out?
(wheezes)
But now that I'm older
can I get the skin flavored lollipop please?
(hysterical laughter)
- The first word of it is a name,
and the second one is an animal.
- It's a name and an animal?
- Yeah.
- It feels like a donkey.
Is being an ass a medical thing?
(hysterical laughter)
- The first letter of the first word is C,
and the second word,
the first letter is H.
- Charlie horse.
(intense music)
- Is this moderate intensity?
Is this?
I can't do it.
Is this modern intensity?
Oh, my stomach.
I like your stethoscope by the way.
- Oh thank you, thank you.
- Matte black, it's a great choice.
- It is, yeah.
They sponsor my...
Practice.
- Doctor, why you listening to my lungs
when I told you my stomach hurts.
I don't understand.
(playful music)
- Oh.
Oh.
- Ladies, if I'm ever down and I need CPR,
this is how you do chest compressions, okay?
- My guy, I know the joke you're making,
but trust me those are not the chest compressions you want
if you're ever found down.
You want the good ones.
You want Dr. Mike on top of you
pounding your chest,
two inches deep,
100 beats per minute,
potentially breaking ribs
in order to get you help.
Oh hi, Mr. Grant.
How are ya?
Let's talk about what seems to be the problem today.
- [Grant] Well, I've been having some swollen tonsils--
- Swollen tonsils.
You've seen somebody for that?
- [Grant] No, you're the first person I've come and seen.
- Ah, I'm the first person?
You've never seen people in your life?
I just wanna clarify this for the record.
You said I'm the first person you've seen.
- [Grant] You're the first medical professional
I've seen for this condition.
- Someone watched one too many sci-fi movies
and they're like all right,
we need to create a device
that does the same thing that the manual toothbrush does,
but does it worse.
(laughs)
- What's your doctor name?
- Alexis.
- You're Dr. Alexis?
- Yeah.
- That's kind of boring.
(camera clicking)
- [Speaker] Ohh.
- What's up?
- Hot.
- What's your name? - Hot.
- Look into my eyes.
You will see
(bleep)
- I usually take a shower and then I wash my face off.
- When you say wash your face off, that sounds dangerous.
What do you mean?
(stammers)
(blows raspberry)
(whines)
Whenever people have unique control of their bodies
I get so jealous,
'cause I cannot do anything remotely special,
except touch my nose with my tongue.
I can't anymore.
(club music)
Mercury, Jupiter.
No.
- [Speaker] Jupiter is two?
You think Jupiter--
- I don't know where Jupiter is at all.
- [Dan] Jupiter's the largest, yeah?
- [Sam] Mhm.
One of the gaseous giants,
as you well know.
- That was my nickname.
- So how is your vision?
- [Grant] My vision has been fine.
That hasn't been a problem.
- The vision has been fine.
So swollen glands with excellent vision,
and that's your complaint today?
(bones popping)
Oh, cramp in the hamstring.
Cramp in the hamstring.
First aid.
- I'm not kidding.
I thought you said vagina.
(laughs)
- First aid.
- I suck at this game.
(laughs)
- Puts a magic robe over your head
and spills it,
wait doesn't spill it.
Let's it sit on your head.
And the headache goes aw--.
- Butt cheeks, butt cheeks, butt cheeks,
butt cheeks, butt cheeks, butt cheeks.
- Worried about their social status.
Inflexible.
Did Bear just throw up?
I'm wearing a rose gold chain,
and I have blue hair,
and I have a spank belt on.
Give me a kiss.
(low beep)
Kiss.
(low beep)
No, kiss.
(dog barks)
No, kiss.
(dog barks)
No, kiss.
(dog barks)
Kiss.
(dog barks)
Can I have a kiss?
(low beep)
Kiss.
(dog barks)
No.
No, kiss.
There you go, good boy.
It's a dog ASMR.
Speak.
(dog barks)
Look at my face.
It's in my mouth.
- I have to title the granola bar.
Doctor Mike's Granola.
Mike's tasty bar.
Bear, you want some?
You came from the same egg.
- We did?
- Wait, we were in the egg?
- [Mike] You were.
- How did they make a baby?
- I don't know.
That's a question for mama bear.
(laughs)
Is it true that if you step on crack
you break your mama's back,
or if you step on a line break your daddy's spine?
I don't know what kind of bondage question this is,
but no.
I don't know why there's drugs mentioned in this.
You shouldn't be stepping on crack
'cause it's illegal.
You shouldn't be stepping on a line break.
I don't know what that means.
- [Dan] Do you know what this is from?
- No.
- [Speaker] Oh, how funny.
- [San] It's when you walk on the sidewalk .
It's a game kids play.
Step on a crack you break your mother's back.
- Whoa, this is some American stuff that--
- [Speaker] This must be.
- You see, while these guys were playing that game,
I was learning arithmetic.
The sun is a sniper but it's also a giver.
Like of life.
Oh, chlorophyll.
(laughs)
Gucci, Gucci, Louis,
Fendy, Fendy, Prada.
- [Speaker] I'm calling a code red.
- A code red.
What is even a code red?
Is that a fire drill?
- We've got a level five anaphylactic shock.
- What is a level five?
Woosah.
There's no such thing as a level five anaphylactic shock.
- I'll make the call.
- Make the call to who?
Ghostbusters?
- Nurse, sedative.
Now.
- Sedative for what?
He's not breathing.
You're going to sedate him further?
- I'm gonna give you a heavy dose in three--
- A heavy dose of what?
Can you start an IV first
and put it in the IV.
(Windows noises)
(heavy breathing)
- I faked having an allergic reaction.
- It's too late.
- What are you doing?
- We still have to give you a shot.
- No, no, no, no, no.
- Malpractice.
(stammers)
Child abuse.
Malpractice.
Poor acting.
- Fake, retractable syringe.
(laughter)
(groaning)
- What did I just watch?
Do you know how busy hospitals are?
- It's not real.
None of it is.
- We just got all of the hospital staff
and this bed for you,
because we're all so wealthy
and have unlimited healthcare here.
Aren't you happy?
- Do you think I was gifted with these abs?
- [Speaker] You're in very good shape, doctor.
Look at you.
Congratulations.
- For massage,
I just like it when people massage my face period.
I feel like that's an under massaged
and under appreciated area,
specifically the masseter muscle.
If you massage this for me,
oh my god.
Just try it right now.
As you're watching this video,
try massaging your masseter.
Like while you're masticating.
It's getting weird.
- [Dan] Among the weirdest things I've ever filmed.
- Oh.
Too much, okay.
Kinda want to taste it.
Can I taste it?
That's not bad.
Slap 'em silly?
Ohh.
(laughs)
Am I gonna get in trouble for that?
- The little pox. - [Speaker] The flu.
- [Speaker] Normal flu.
- You don't know.
Do you know?
- [Speaker] Do you know?
- Calm down, calm down.
Calm down, it's small pox.
Small pox.
- If you ever run into a bacteria, do not interview it.
They will infect you.
Infect you.
You heard of elf on a shelf.
Now get ready for...
Oh, helicobacter on a tractor.
Yo, got that helicobacter on the tractor.
I'm gonna change it and give you that intrinsic factor.
Ohh.
I got that helicobacter sitting on the tractor.
I hear everyone hitting me with the laughter.
It's all right 'cause I got that intrinsic factor
living in my stomach.
It can hear my (mumbles).
- What do you think went wrong? What do you think happened?
- Is it a dry campus?
- No.
- No, they have a bar on campus?
- Oh, that's what you meant by dry.
(laughs)
I just thought you meant if the campus was wet or dry.
(laughter)
- I'm not feeling good.
- Why, what's wrong?
- I don't know, I want a GYN.
(laughs)
- She's ready for the GYN.
That's what's up.
- You look like that.
- Bad turkey.
Bad, bad.
- Is this you?
(spits)
I'm really glad you bulked up a little bit,
because you look like a cancer patient.
And you're like wearing a cancer shirt.
- I lost already.
It's a cancer event.
- It's so sad.
- St. Baldrick's.
A child with cancer shaved my head
so we could be in unity together.
- But did he shave the awkward patches?
And did he shave the muscles away?
And did he shave those eyebrows?
- Down in the DM.
- Down in...
Down in the hood.
(laughs)
- Have you ever done surgery on a person who got shot?
- No, I'm not a trauma surgeon.
- I feel like you don't really do the interesting things.
- Yeah, I'm not a trauma surgeon.
- Your job is like very (groans).
(groans)
You just see patients about like
weird infections,
and then you'll just be like put some ice on it.
- When did you become a savage?
- I'm a savage.
Classy, bougie, ratchet.
- Do you have an evening routine before you go to sleep?
And if so, what do you do?
- I eat.
Smoke.
- Okay.
- And maybe (bleep).
- Oh my god.
I have no idea.
Because you have two butt cheeks?
I don't know.
I have no idea.
- Two legs didn't cross your mind,
but two butt cheeks was right.
Did anyone compliment you
or comment on the pus?
- [Speaker] Did anyone compliment my pus?
- What was the pus material like?
Was it very pusy or limited pusy?
- [Speaker] I would say it was more pusy
than less pusy.
- That makes sense.
So...
(laughter)
- [Speaker] Bro.
Why you eat your fries before your burger?
- The logic behind this,
it's fries are carbs
and they're gonna process way faster
than the protein in the burger.
So I want the protein to fill me up at night,
and make me feel full.
(sighs)
- I hate saying the word bro science.
But if you're eating it four seconds apart,
the way that it looks in your stomach is...
So it doesn't matter if you eat this bite first
and this bite second.
In the end
it's all like that.
(clapping)
- [Speaker] In a world plagued by cavities and gingivitis
comes a new hit show,
from Seattle's best dentistry,
Grey's Enamel.
Where the doctors are...
Freaky.
And the dentistry gets wild.
The romance behind the cavities,
and the true stories of the doctors who work there.
They may be doing their jobs.
They may be cleaning their teeth.
But they're also drinking dental potions
and getting drunk and making love.
What happens on this season?
Tune in Sunday night.
Grey's Enamel.
- Did you know that I was a surgeon simulator operator?
Click here to check that out
and get a major laugh.
A continued laugh.
'Cause this video was funny, too.
As always, stay happy and healthy.
Get your merch.
(soft music)