Hey there, this is Clay and today we're continuing on our journey through the five phases of
getting back together.
Last time we talked about the phase of the test drive, which is the second phase we're
getting back together and now we're talking about the middle phase.
Phase number three called riding the dragon and here's something is very critical that's
going on.
Your, your ex is basically reaching this 50 percent point right where they're, like sort
of halfway into you and halfway, not so much into you and, and those positive feelings
are growing, but you're like, right on that more or less 50 percent point.
Give or take a few percentages.
Of course, this isn't obviously scientific, there's no machine I can just sort of like
scan your ex with and say that scientifically either at 36.41 percent, you can't do that,
but it's just a conceptual model to help you visualize this.
But what happens when you're anxious about that 50 percent point is your interface called
riding a dragon.
And this is very interesting because when your ex is a little bit less than 50 percent,
like 48, 49, 47 or whatever, they're gonna do things that are going to.
They're going to want to pull away a little bit, right?
They're gonna, they're gonna tell you things like, oh well, you know, we could never get
back together.
We could never work out.
You should date other people and stuff like that.
And when they're a little bit over 50 percent, like 51, 50, 2:53, et Cetera, that's when
they're going to start to warm up to you.
And they're going to do things like say, you know, hey, we should get back together.
You know, I really love you.
I'm sorry I missed you so much.
I think things can work out between the two of us.
All that stuff.
And what's interesting when you hit riding a dragon is that you're like, right in that
middle point, that 50 percent point, which means any little thing that happens one way
or the other, even things that are outside of your control, like maybe a friend said
something to your ex or maybe they found an old box of love letters that you wrote to
them when you first started dating or something like that.
That can cause your ex to wobble one way or the other on riding the dragon, right?
They could, they could be a 50 percent.
But then maybe their friends as, oh, well I never liked that guy anyway.
And then boom, they're at 48 percent and they'll tell you like, oh hey, we can't get back together.
But then maybe they'll find some love letters and it's like boom, now they're at 52 percent.
And they're like, oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean that.
Maybe we can work things out.
And you know, there's going to be this back and forth that happens.
They're going to give you hot and cold behavior, mixed messages, all that stuff.
And it can be really frustrating if you don't know what's going on, but I've just explained
to you it's going on.
So I hope that that you can kind of understand how this is kind of working here and the point
of this is to not get too caught up in what they say or don't say what they.
All that stuff like, you know?
Yeah.
If something, it might feel good in the moment for them to say, Hey, I'm really miss you
and I'm sorry I, we should maybe talk about getting back together at some point in the
future and that might feel really good.
And that's great that it feels good.
You should absolutely let it feel good.
But you don't want to like start thinking like, yeah, I've won the battle.
This is it.
We're going to get back together, we're going to get married and have 10,000 babies.
It's going to be like all nirvana forever.
Like don't do that because that's getting wrapped up in it because they could easily
just move back to like 49 percent.
And then suddenly it's like, oh well, you know, I was given a second thought and maybe
we should just take a break.
And it's like, oh, and then then if you get caught up in that and you know it, it's going
to be very taxing and it's not going to be fun and it's gonna lead you down some wrong
directions.
But seriously, if it feels good in the moment, that's okay.
Just let it feel good in them.
I'm like, yeah, she said she liked me or he said he liked me and that feels good, but
don't start to like project out into the future just to let it feel good in the moment.
And you go, you got to ride the dragon.
Just got to keep doing those things there that got you there in the first place.
You know, focus on those advanced relational skills.
We talk about that in the program and over run the website relationshipinnergame.com.
So you know, just keep focusing on those and you'll be able to eventually pull your ex
off of the riding the dragon phase into phase four, which we'll talk about next time.
But you know, again, this is something that's very common, so expect it to happen.
Maybe you're going through it right now, but you know, I hope this lets you know what's
going on.
Nobody really talked about this, but you know, I've been in the trenches with people for
so long that I can almost predict that this is going to happen at some point.
So just be aware that it's happening and when you know that it's happening, you can kind
of relax a little bit and be like, okay, I know that this is happening now and I don't
have to stress out.
It's not like things are falling apart, it's just part of the process.
Okay.
So again, just keep that in mind and if you'd like more help getting past riding the dragon
or getting your ex back, in any other way, no matter what phase you're at, please go
ahead and check out relationshipinnergame.com.
And sign up there, we'd love to help you get your ex back and just go ahead and write into
us through the website will write back to you and again, that's over at relationshipinnergame.com
and it has been Clay and I'll see you next time for phase four of getting back together.
Thank you.