This may shock some of you, but I used to struggle with speaking with confidence, and
I still do depending on the situation.
Confidence is something that I think everybody already has.
Everyone has at least one thing they know how to do pretty well.
So the challenge isn’t finding confidence itself, but is instead figuring out how to
incorporate the confidence that you already have into other areas of your life.
If you’ve watched Avatar: The Last Airbender, you remember that final battle where Aang
battles Fire Lord Ozai.
That's as confident as you can get.
For a brief moment, you forget he wasn’t always confident in his abilities.
Let’s rewind to the episode “Bitter Work” for instance.
This is an episode that I found incredibly informative, especially in regards to confidence.
At this point in the story, Aang is experienced in airbending, and waterbending.
He meets up with this character named Toph to learn earthbending.
Toph’s teaching can come off as a little aggressive, like a drill sergeant.
Which is different compared to the teaching experiences he has had in the past.
In the middle of his training, Aang is challenged to stop a rolling boulder, but when the rock
gets too close for comfort, he jumps out the way instead of facing it head on.
Toph, expressing her anger, and disappointment, makes sure Aang feels worse about it than
he already does.
Everyone reacts differently to constructive criticism, so for some, this type of “rub
it in your face” critique can motivate them to do better next time an opportunity presents
itself, but for Aang, for others, and even for myself, this can be the most discouraging
affirmation, and the last thing your subconscious mind needs to hear.
Aang tells Toph he doesn’t think he has what it takes to face the rock like an earthbender,
and loses all confidence in himself.
Katara comforts Aang, letting him know it’s okay for him to not get it right away.
So they practice waterbending instead until he’s ready to try again.
Katara then tells Aang the mental block he is having is temporary, and the best way to
overcome it is to face the issue head on.
Easier said than done, but definitely possible, not only in Aang’s case, but for everyone
watching this video.
We are all capable of facing our fears head on, but it starts with confidence.
Sure, encouragement from the right people, and material items certainly helps boost the
confidence meter, but the only person or thing that knows what you’re truly capable of
is you.
No words can possibly describe your potential.
You are powerful beyond measure.
These may sound like some fairy tale affirmations, but believing these statements wholeheartedly
is infinitely better than:
Aang’s struggles with earthbending is similar to Zuko’s struggles with lightning bending.
Just like Aang, Zuko gets down on himself.
His uncle explains in order for him to master lightning, he must first deal with the turmoil
inside of him.
More specifically, he must learn how to let go of his feelings of shame, and only then will his
anger go away.
His uncle then says something incredibly profound.
We often use anger to hide emotional pain, instead of crying, and letting it all go.
Zuko is hurting from the past, and it goes deeper than his opinions about himself.
As shown at the end of this episode, he has his gripes with how Source, God, or The Universe
has treated him throughout his life.
Which is understandable considering he had a pretty horrific childhood.
His scar is only a taste of the misery he has experienced.
Considering these past experiences, how can he trust that The Universe loves him unconditionally?
How can he trust others?
Well as his uncle explained, it starts with practicing humility.
His ego gets in the way of him strengthening his relationship with The Universe.
Not that ego is bad, but it can sometimes prevent us from connecting with others authentically.
Everyone has something new to teach us.
Our idea of who or what someone is, the labels we give them, the history they provide, stop
us from seeing that they, nor anyone is above or below us.
Meanwhile, Aang finds Sokka stuck in a hole in the ground.
Sokka requests a little earthbending action from Aang, but he feels too discouraged to
even try.
He then expresses his frustration with how people are treating him during his earthbending
practices.
He admits he feels pressure since nobody seems to understand how difficult it is for him
to nail the technique.
I think we can all relate to this statement in one way or another.
I’ve felt this way in various situations of my life.
It kinda feels like you are a hamster in a wheel, chasing what looks obtainable, without
realizing it’s a never ending cycle.
I mean, that’s how it feels when you don’t succeed, but when you do, oh man, when you
finally do, that success totally feels worth it.
But the only way to succeed is to keep trying, over, and over, and over again.
Just before that breakthrough finally manifests into physical reality, something clicks
inside of you, greatness is unleashed, and you do something that even you didn’t know
you were capable of doing.
It’s then when you realize success is not the goal itself, but is instead the moment
you get up after a hard fall.
Everytime you try, and quote-unquote “fail,” that in itself is a new experience, and knowledge
is gained from that experience.
Failure is a beautiful thing, as backwards as that sounds.
Of course, Aang does not have this mindset as of yet.
To add further insult to injury, a giant mammal known as a moose-lion charges at Aang, and
Sokka, leaving Aang no choice, but to play defense.
Because of his lack of confidence, and experience in earthbending, he instead relies on his
airbending abilities to save the day, and to his credit, it ends up working out for
him.
It is then revealed that Toph was there the whole time, amusingly watching close by.
She gives Aang credit for his act of bravely, but then disrespects him once again, but this
time Aang sticks up for himself, no pun intended, leaving Toph with the impression that if he
is able to defend himself against a wild beast, and even stand his ground against her, then
he is ready to earthbend for realz.
So Aang gives earthbending another shot, and finally succeeds.
I find it interesting how nailing the technique had less to do with a lack of experience
from Aang, but instead, had more to do with a lack of confidence.
According to this episode, the way to increase confidence is to perform what you are already
good at, the activity that comes naturally to yourself, then once that confidence meter
is at its highest point, it becomes easier to tackle the things you struggle with.
In conclusion, confidence is the true embodiment of how you like to do things.
Receiving inspiration from others can certainly drive that motivation, but expectations, and
over comparison will almost always discourage that individual.
If this episode is anything to go by, all it takes is a little bit of momentum.
That moment when you are fully able to embrace who you are, and remember what you have already
accomplished, that is when you feel like anything is possible, you can do anything, and nothing
can stop you.