I, Carly Shay, am the victim of a deep fake.
I'll let that sink in.
Taste Famiglia is not endorsed by me.
Guys... Deep Fake Carly wants to join my live.
Let her in so you can confront her.
And I can try and tell 'em apart.
Tell her I said, "hi".
What? She may be a fraud, but she's still my sister.
My fraud sister. My Fister.
Hello, Deep Fake Carly.
Looks like you finally decided to show my face.
Oh, Carly, I'm the real Carly.
And I, Carly, have nothing to hide.
You're the charlatan.
God, she always uses the coolest words.
Two of them.
I don't want it, and yet I can't look away.
I have cold, hard evidence that proves
I am the one true Carly Shay.
To begin, I'll reveal something only the real Carly would know.
My first celebrity crush was Foghorn Leghorn.
What? No.
I never had lustful yearnings for a shapely cartoon rooster.
Shapely?
And to prove it, I'd like to share
some of my Fog Leg erotica. [chuckles]
[clearing throat]
It was a quiet night in the hen house-
Bye.
Who would do this to me? Everybody likes me.
Except for Lewbert.
And Miss Briggs, Wade Collins, Griffin.
Kyoko and Yuki, all the petographers.
Wes, Bo, me. Should I just go get my binder?
Okay, fine.
I guess a few people have minor qualms with me.
But, who would go to all this trouble?
I mean, it's so elaborate. It's so evil.
It's so...
- Nevel Papperman. - [unintelligible]
Nevel Papperman.
I can't believe Nevel invited us to an evil lair
with no street parking.
Why is there so much cured meat?
Because he's a thoughtful host?
Well, well, well. Carly Shame and all,
allow me to explain.
There have been two great loves of my life,
my beloved wife, Prunella, and The Godfather.
A film... I have never seen.
Such a fun vibe, though.
Start with the third one, the first two are garbage.
[squealing]
Oh, my God.
I haven't seen you since you were my bridesmaid.
Isn't that crazy? I've missed you so much.
How have you been, mama?
Not great, Prunella.
Nevel, you need to stop this. People are getting sick.
More importantly, my restaurant got shut down! For two hours!
Is this all because I ruined your wedding?
Ruined? I thought our wedding was great.
I seem to remember one very handsome blond bombshell
who proved to be quite agile at the limbo.
It's in the hips.
But you failed to give us a gift within one year's time.
And per Emily Post, you are punished.
Wait, let me get this straight.
So you manufactured a toxic vegan product,
plastered my face all over it and then deep faked me
to get my brother to sell it all because you had to buy
your own freaking kitchen aid?
Ooh, what color did you guys get?
- Rose gold. - That is so classy.
Did you get the pasta attachments?
Oh, my God, did you make the sausage
with the meat grinder?
Guys. Look, this is ridiculous.
But I'll get you something,
if it means you'll leave me alone.
Something? Carly, you can't go off registry.
Society has rules.
Fine. What's left?
Oh, my God. A mess with Carly fund?
Some couples do honey funds, but we honeymooned
in Grandpapa Papperman's palatial Polynesian palapa.
So we launched a mess with Carly fund instead.
[laughing]
You see, when this all began,
it was my love's elaborate scheme to exact revenge.
But then we realized we were having the best sex
of our lives, and now it's just our thing.
Did anyone get you guys a melon baller?
What I wouldn't give to wrap this
around a fresh hunk of cantaloupe right now.
We use the Carly Fund to buy the rancid pork
in Taste Famiglia. [chuckles]
Great price too.
They were practically throwing it away.
[laughing]
Did you say "rancid pork"?
Uh-huh.
Enough of this.
There is nothing you can do to get us to stop. Nothing.
[laughing]
Pruny, your evil laugh is getting so sinister.
Oh. I learned from the best.
If there's nothing I can do to stop you,
then why did you make us come all the way down here?
Just seeing you squirm is really doing it for us.
[laughing]
Why are you laughing?!
I'm very uncomfortable.