Dear sister
California is beautiful
The beach, the palm trees. I can't believe I'm here
I already feel so at home
I'm pretty much all settled in now. You should see the campus
It does look like in the movies
The library reminds me of Harry Potter. I love it. I know you would too
Things here are so different
good and bad
The things I've experienced, the people I've met, all these crazy memories
that I'll never be able to even try and tell anyone
I sometimes have to pinch myself
So I
met someone
He asked me out and we were up all night just talking
He makes me laugh like no one ever has
I wish you could meet him
Okay, so remember I told you things are so different from home?
Here are some things I've noted
Pretty girls get everything
Followers will get you anywhere
Here's where I went too far for me
I was out and
one of my friends wouldn't get let in to the club
Why?
Because she wasn't skinny enough
Yep, you heard that right
Isn't it sickening?
Here I was
thinking we were all brought there to have a good time
But apparently
we were just a bunch of pretty people
brought there to attract even more pretty people
and rich men
It was an eye-opener
Another thing I noticed is that people will ask me about my social media
before even having a brief conversation
and oh boy
the disappointment in their faces when they realize I am nobody
Well, their definition of a nobody
I've never been a superficial person
I've never cared about status, followers, whatever you want to call it
But it's starting to get to me
I've found myself starting to care way too much about all those meaningless things
so much that I've almost forgotten how to have fun
And trust me when I say I am not the only one
You know how you have those moments in life that enlighten you?
So I was out with some people and
suddenly it was like I was outside my body looking in
Is anyone really enjoying themselves?
I looked around
Most people are on their phones taking photos
or just on their phones
looking bored as heck
Hey, everyone's looking gorgeous dressed to the teeth, but
What else is there?
Where are the conversations?
and most importantly
What the heck am I doing here?
I know I might sound like I'm hating it
I'm not, at all
These are just some of the things I've noted
I do love it here
This first year in California has taught me some of the most
important life lessons and has allowed me to meet some of
the most amazing people
And I'll cherish the memories forever
But I've had to take a step back
I don't want to lose myself
And thankfully, it's not too late for that
Right?
Wrong. Well, kind of
Let me explain
Whenever I meet someone who's seen me on social media, they keep
telling me that I'm different from how they thought I'd be
Different how?
Here's what they'll say
"Your social media makes it seem that you think your pretty face and
looks is the most important things in life when in reality
It's not at all who you are. You're so much more."
Now I know social media isn't real life and
Maybe I shouldn't care too much about appearing different on social media
versus in real life
After all, it's just social media
Right?
But I do care
A lot
I care for the example I'm setting for young girls
and for the message I'm sending out to everyone else
I don't want those girls to look at me and aspire to just be a pretty face
Cause in real life
you need to be more
and you should want to be more
You are more.
I want them to know that
Even though I've done a pretty crappy job of portraying that myself
But I'll do better
I hope it's not too late
And I know you'll help me find my way back sister
You always do
You