A groom said this earlier in the wedding day.
>> Anything you wanna say to your future bride?
>> I hope we have a lot of sex.
A lot.
>> I should have known his vows were gonna go like this.
>> Wide spread.
>> [LAUGH] >> They're only two things are required to
keep me happy, keep my belly full and my balls empty.
>> That's only the beginning of what I would argue is one of
the worst wedding vows of all time.
>> That would not be a controversial position.
At the end, I'm gonna hand out pardons, okay?
>> Okay, but I don't think there's any context
where the phrase drained balls is, okay?
>> Yeah. >> Even as I'm saying it to cite something
that's inappropriate.
I don't- >> No,
there's a context of a comedy sketch.
Stand up.
>> No, I ban it.
>> Okay, she's banned it.
So it's already over but definitely not wedding vow.
>> My God.
>> Okay, wait till you hear the rest of it and wait till you find out here.
I'm gonna tell you now the mom is efficient.
>> God.
>> By the way, the bride defends him.
Wait till we get to that.
>> I mean, she should.
That's your husband.
>> Okay, yeah, I hear you. >> Yeah, okay?
>> That's what I'm saying.
>> All right, so by the way, real quick, some context,
the names of the lucky couple are Destiny and Michael Lentini.
We do have more video.
Let's watch.
>> Since the day we started talking after falling
through my bedroom window within minutes, I could tell you were the one for me.
Then as time went on and I was falling deeper in love with you.
I was and always will be one of the easiest people to please.
Only two things are required to keep me happy, keep my belly full and
my balls empty.
>> [LAUGH] >> So you're amazing at half of it.
We really need to get you some cooking lessons.
Even when my belly isn't full, there is no one I could ever love more
in this lifetime unless I actually get a chance to meet Margot Robbie.
Since the beginning, I always told you I was going to make you the happiest
woman in the world and give you everything I could possibly give.
Well, today I'm taking a step further and
giving you my last name plus name of champions.
>> [LAUGH] >> No one deserves it more with you and
the girls by my side, I feel like I can conquer anything.
You all make life worth living, giving every breath of every day of purpose.
Life gets even better when the kids fall asleep and
you tell me to come to the bedroom.
>> [LAUGH] >> Nothing's better than the sound of
gagging and headboard slamming.
>> Michael.
>> [SOUND] So her mom was officiating the wedding,
as Cenk mentioned earlier.
>> No, his mom. >> No, his mum.
My God. Well, you know what?
You must be proud mom.
Look at the son you raised, okay?
>> [LAUGH] Okay, all right?
I got pundits coming up later, but let's watch more videos.
>> All right.
>> Everyone keeps telling me that marriage is going to ruin a lot of things.
But I feel that's only if you let it.
Even if we fight, argue or don't see eye to eye on something,
it will never affect the way I love you.
Marriage is something I take seriously and I only wanna do once.
After almost ten years,
I still stand by the fact that you're my soulmate and it will never change.
After today, the only thing changing is me having to deal with the ring on my finger.
>> [LAUGH] >> You will forever have my heart and
that's a promise till death do we part.
PS, since you're so good at making decisions like marrying me,
you can choose whether tonight's gonna end with being a Toaster Strudel or a Twinkie.
>> [LAUGH] >> Yeah, all right?
I'm speechless.
>> [LAUGH] >> Being that I am his mom.
I will deal with him later.
He is grounded.
>> [LAUGH] >> By all means.
>> [LAUGH] >> So
I don't know what the Toaster Strudel Twinkie thing means.
Does anyone know?
>> I do not know.
It's like.
>> They're having some wild sex.
That's all I know.
>> Okay, hey, get it.
Okay, God bless.
She had a very moving emotional vow to him.
>> Yeah.
>> So it's totally out of place.
This is totally out of the blue.
>> We do have a video of that.
>> Yeah. >> Do you wanna watch that?
Let's compare his vows to her vows.
>> And my charming armor, my best friend, my biggest pain in the ass.
Our ventures started a little shy of ten years ago.
And in that ten years, we have already accomplished so much together and
create a beautiful life.
When I met you in high school, I started crushing on you, but
I didn't dare let it be known because I thought you were too good for me.
So I let it go.
If they say if you truly love someone or something,
let it go and if it comes back to you, then it was meant to be.
Now, here you are standing in front of me on our wedding day.
I'm more than thankful for every day with you.
You have completely stolen my heart and I honestly never want you to give it back.
You are one of the most selfless, funniest, caring people I have ever met.
Not to mention very accident prone.
>> [LAUGH] >> We've created two of the most beautiful
girls in this world together.
We bought our first house.
We've made it through the rough times and the good times.
And since I have you I know we will always make it through.
Thank you for choosing me to create your life with.
I know I'm no model by far not a good cook unless you want soy meat loaf.
>> [LAUGH] >> And as we all know,
I'm the real sleeping beauty with a temper.
But thank you for loving me still.
I love you so much, Michael John Lentini, and
I promise to choose you every day for the rest of my life and beyond that.
>> Very sweet.
The only thing that, well, a few things stood out to me, but
I'm gonna mention one of them now.
You thought he was too good for you, really?
I mean- >> Yeah, she-
>> I mean, look, yeah,
nothing against him.
But why did she think that?
>> We don't know, so that's gonna lead to my pardon.
So look, she says on a couple occasions including the video
she did after their wedding, after this became a big [SOUND].
She's grateful that he picked her and
that people won't understand why she's so lucky to have him.
But there's two possibilities there.
One is, he's hoodwinked her, and she thinks all these things about herself and
how she's lucky to have him when it ain't the case at all, all right?
But there's also a possibility there's tons of things we don't know about
the relationship.
>> No, we know everything.
>> [LAUGH] That's my point.
>> [LAUGH] >> No guys,
everybody's not saying, it's a toxic relationship.
You gotta get out of it.
It's terrible, blah, blah, blah.
>> No.
>> You don't know.
>> No, get off their balls.
Yeah, sorry.
>> Yeah. >> I didn't mean to.
>> [LAUGH]. >> No pun.
But seriously, we don't know anything about their dynamic,
their relationship, they might have a wonderful relationship.
If the vows make her happy and she has a good sense of humor about it.
Great. And it seems like she does.
She defended him later.
Look, in the grand scheme of things.
I don't care, all right?
I don't care at all.
And we shouldn't pass judgment.
I just wish she didn't mention the thing about.
>> Not only that, I watched the whole thing.
He later talked about whether the headboard was banging.
Okay, it's uncomfortable, okay?
And then he said, or whether you hear the sound of gagging, no.
>> It was too much.
>> No. >> By the way,
I like to keep it a little naughty, all right?
It's, okay?
A little naughty is, okay?.
But it was too much.
The gagging and the balls.
Come on.
>> No, he slipped over from naughty to repulsive, all right?
>> Yes.
>> That's right.
>> Okay, so you gotta know where the line was, and he didn't know where the line is.
But guys, they're civilians.
>> [LAUGH] >> They're not politicians, they're not
gonna change your lives, they're not media figures, they're not important, all right?
>> Yes.
>> So it's like an amusing little distraction for all of us.
>> Yeah. >> And
we appreciate that he brought a little bit of controversy to our lives that we
could have a little soap opera over.
>> Yeah, I love it.
>> But don't go around hating them and
trying to make sure- >> Why?
>> They get divorced- >> Yeah, why would you?
>> They got kids, leave them alone.
Don't be crazy.
And by the way, maybe she loves his humor and his humor is not for
us necessarily in that context, all right?
But maybe that's what she loves about him.
>> Exactly. >> And she likes that he's over the top.
>> And look when she was defending him.
To me, it was pretty clear that she loves him and they've been together for
ten years.
They have two kids.
Clearly, whatever it is that's going on between them, it's working.
So even though I'm an atheist, God bless,
go forward and enjoy your life together, all right?
But, yeah, you're right.
The reason why we're talking about this is because it's
fun to watch other people deal with controversy [LAUGH].
>> [LAUGH] You said it once for a change.
No, there's a lot of reasons, but it's so fun.
So, hey, guys, I love the levity in your life.
Okay, and a wedding vows just bring it down a notch and then we're all good.
But the most important thing is stop beating up people online when they're just
regular schmos, okay?
>> So- >> Wish them luck.
>> The person who officiated my wedding was Cenk Uygur, and
the best part about Cenk officiating was how unbelievably awkward he looked.
>> True. >> As Christian and
I were exchanging vows.
He's just like.
>> I don't know what to do.
>> What's an officiator supposed to do?
>> It's in the video. >> I'm like that mom.
>> It's just like.
>> Yeah, I'm like that mom in the video.
I don't know. >> [LAUGH]
>> I grounded them later.
I didn't know what I was supposed to do.
>> Christian is a very sensitive soul and so as he was reading the vows,
he's crying and like, Cenk was so uncomfortable and it was great.
>> [LAUGH] >> I loved it.
>> [LAUGH] In my wedding, Steve O, who used to work here, was officiating, and
he started crying.
>> [SOUND] >> So the officiator is crying.
Everybody's crying.
>> That's the sweetest thing I've heard about Steve.
>> [LAUGH] Everybody in the studio laughs having worked with Steve.
No, look to each his own.
I pardon all of you.
Am I not merciful?
>> Let love and let live.
That's the quote, all right?
>> No, it's live and let's die.
And then. >> No.
>> And then that got turned into live and let love.
No, I'm not even sure about that.
So I retracted then.
>> Okay, yeah, but you can make it your own.
Okay, I mean, you did invent, you do, you boo.
>> I wanna have a wedding again.