>> AND NOW, A SPECIAL MESSAGE FROM THE WHITE HOUSE EASTER
BUNNY. ♪♪♪
>> HEY KIDS, HAPPY EASTER! OKAY, GET OUT OF HERE.
GO. ALL RIGHT.
[ CHEERS ] ALL RIGHT, SHUT UP.
SHUT UP, SHUT UP. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
AH, WHERE? OKAY, I'M SWEATING MY EASTER
EGGS OFF HERE. [ LAUGHTER ]
EVERYBODY SHUT UP. SHUT UP SO I CAN APOLOGIZE.
YEAH, YOU ALL GOT YOUR WISH THIS WEEK.
DEFERRAL
SPICY FINALLY MADE A MISTAKE. AS WE ALL KNOW, PRESIDENT TRUMP
RECENTLY BOMBED SYRIA. WHILE EATING THE MOST BEAUTIFUL
PIECE OF CHOCOLATE CAKE AMERICA HAS EVER SEEN.
THAT'S A FACT! PEOPLE WANTED TO LOOK AT THE
CAKE. NOW, IN DEFENDING THE
PRESIDENT'S DECISION, I SAID THAT I'M LIKE THE SYRIAN LEADER,
UM, THE LEADER OF -- WHAT IS HIS STUPID NAME?
BAZOOKA FELICIA HAMAD RASHAD. AT LEAST HITLER NEVER USED
CHEMICAL WEAPONS AND EVERYBODY FREAKED OUT.
THEY WERE LIKE BOO-HOO, WHAT ABOUT THE HOLOCAUST CENTERS?
I KNOW THEY'RE NOT CALLED THE HOLOCAUST CENTERS.
I CLEARLY MEANT TO SAY CONCENTRATION CLUB.
IT WOULD BE GREAT IF THE NIT PICKERS DIDN'T FOCUS ON EVERY
SLUR AND LIE I SAY. THAT WOULD BE NICE.
AND PS, YOU KNOW I AM SENSITIVE TO THE FACT THAT THEY WERE SENT
THERE ON TRAINS, BUT AT LEAST THEY DIDN'T HAVE TO FLY UNITED.
AM I RIGHT? THAT JUMPED RIGHT OUT.
I AM PARTICULARLY SORRY THIS HAPPENED ON PASSOVER, AKA, THE
JEWISH EASTER. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
IN THE SPIRIT OF CULTURAL UNITY, I THOUGHT I WOULD SHED SOME
LIGHT ON ALL -- TO ALL THE GUYS OUT THERE ON THE MOST SACRED
HOLIDAY, PASSOVER. NOW BRING OUT MY BABY DOLLS.
YEAH, OKAY. SO HERE WE GO.
HERE'S PHARAOH. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
OKAY? BAD, BAD HOMBRE, OKAY?
DOING SOME BAD, BAD STUFF TO THE JEWS.
OKAY? I MEAN HE EVEN HITLER -- YOU
KNOW WHAT, NOT NOT GOING DO THAT.
I'M NOT GOING THERE AGAIN. YOU FOOL ME ONCE, RIGHT?
FOOL ME ONCE, SHAME ON ME. FOOL ME TWICE, SHAME ON JEWS.
OKAY SO, PHARAOH GUY IS LIKE "HEY, YOU GUYS NEED TO START
MAKING PYRAMIDS AND STUFF AND THE JEWS, THESE GUYS PASS OVER.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] LITERALLY AND -- FLOATED ABOVE
THEM THEM KINDA LIKE CROUCHING TIGER, HIDDEN DREIDEL.
[ LAUGHTER ] IT'S AMAZING.
THEN THEY'RE LIKE THE JEWS ARE LIKE YEP, PHARAOH, SEE YA,
WOULDN'T WANT TO BE YA. AND THEN, YOU KNOW, FROM THEN ON
IT WAS REALLY SMOOTH SAILING FOR THE JEWS.
OKAY, JUST TO BE SUPER CLEAR AS FAR AS THE BAD GUYS GO, THE
RANKING IS, HITLER THEN BABAR AL-ASSHAD, THEN THE
PHAR[ AUDIENCE OHS ] AND THEN I GUESS CHRONOLOGICALLY
IT WOULD BE THE JEWS. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
THAT'S ABOUT IT FOR ME. HAPPY EASTER, EVERYBODY.
OH, BY THE WAY, THE PRESIDENT IS PROBABLY GOING TO BOMB NORTH
KOREA TONIGHT. OKAY, SPICYS GOTTA GO.
WRAPPING IT UP. LET'S GO, KIDS, EAT ALL THE
CANDY YOU WANT, CAUSE IT'S PROBABLY THE LAST EASTER THAT WE
WILL EVER HAVE ON EARTH. [ LAUGHTER ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]