Good morning.
and welcome to Cookham Reach,
we're still where we left you last time, it's very early.
It's 7am, although you wouldn't guess it by the amount of people walking and running by.
They must be very fit around here.
[Laughs] very fit people.
We're about 100 yards away from Cookham Reach Sailing Club,
it's just over there
I can see it.
and there's like lots of masts.
I would have fancied a go at that, I've never done sailing before, have you?
No I have no,
Fighting the wind.
I can imagine it being a disaster.
You do fight the wind quite regularly though.
[Laughs] I do.
I wouldn't have minded a go at that
there would have been some damage to boats that I reckon wouldn't there.
Yes there would.
and I would have been in a few times, I need a wetsuit,
don't I, some lycra,
some more lycra.
and just a little bit further on from that, it goes into some trees
and then it kind of winds around does the path
and it comes out in this lovely little churchyard
it's really, well to say it's a graveyard because it sounds a bit grim,
but it's really nice it's like a little different world and like oldy fashiony houses.
I don't know whether they're Victorian or Edwardian
or Wimpy or what, I don't know.
Wimpy? [Laughs]
But it's really nice in there.
But today it's time to go, we've been here a few days.
It is.
It's cost us all our Jaffa Cake money to stay here hasn't it?
Can't wait to get off the Thames and stop paying for moorings.
I know.
We are heading down towards the most Royal sounding place in Britain.
[Shaun][ We are.
[Colin] We are going to the Royal Borough of Windsor a Maidenhead.
the kind of, and Maidenhead spoils it a bit doesn't it.
It does a little bit doesn't it.
Royal Borough of Windsor...
and Maidenhead.
Just Windsor.
[Laughs]
Otis is ready
He's been ready for ages.
Shaun's ready
I am.
I'm ready.
Has he had his 40th wee?
[Laughs]
[Music playing]
Just on our port side,
up that steep hill
and behind them trees,
is Cliveden House.
Massive estate and it's got the biggest front garden I've ever seen.
[Shaun] Yes it has hasn't it.
[Colin] Puts our old front garden to shame I tell you.
It was built in 1666 by the second Duke of Buckingham
and he was a right lad.
Really?
Apparently he was a right lad,
he had women in there,
parties
and all sorts.
Ohh!
and he killed the Earl of Shrewsbury,
having a dual on the terrace one day.
Really?
Yeah, killed him
It's known for more scandal than that.
[Shaun] That's the word, scandal.
It's burnt down twice
A bit like the Phoenix Club isn't it.
[Laughing]
I wonder if Den Perry had owt to do with it.
But yeah as shown was saying, scandal.
In 1961 it's where John Profumo met Christine Keeler for the first time,
she was swimming naked in the swimming pool in the guest lodges
and John Profumo who was, was he the Secretary of State for War?
I think he was.
Something like that.
and he saw her in the errr
[Sniffs]
altogether.
and errr and a bit of a whoo-hoo started.
It did.
and it all went wrong
Hence, scandal.
Yeah, it was a right scandal and he had to resign
and in the end it brought down the whole McMillan Government.
Yes.
So it wasn't very good
and Dusty Springfield sang a song about the story called, Scandal.
Yes.
Just think if it had never have happened, that song wouldn't have made any sense.
[Laughing]
Wouldn't have made sense? They wouldn't have even made the song.
How do you know?
[Laughing]
Nowadays it's a hotel, if you fancy one night with dinner in a deluxe suite,
[Shaun] with Profumo?
[Colin] He's long gone [Laughing]
[Colin] It will cost you 1,850 quid a night.
[Shaun] WOW!
Shall I go check the back of the sofa?
[Music playing]
On our starboard side
there's some lovely old Edwardian houses, massive.
Not as big as the big one we've just passed,
but very nice, I wouldn't say no.
One of them, that one just behind it is called Islet Park House
and it's where Jerry Anderson, who made Thunderbirds
started his TV program.
Ahh right.
Thats where he started making them
WOW!
and he moved on to some bigger studios, but that's where it all started back in the 1950's
I'm trying to think of some like,
really good puppet shows, because they don't make them like they used to do they?
No they don't.
There's like, Thunderbirds and Captain Scarlett.
They make Thunderbirds now, but it's just not the same is it.
What other puppet ones was there?
Sooty.
I don't know, can you count ones where you've got your hand up em?
[Laughing]
You know what I mean, they're puppets as well aren't there, but there's like string puppets
and one where you have to put your hand up em.
We'll leave this one shall we?
We'll leave this one.
[Music playing]
It gets a bit weird and complicated
just past Jerry Anderson's old gaff
and the channel splits into three.
So the way we're going, hopefully, fingers crossed,
will take us down to Boulter's Lock.
The middle channel that we just saw is the river,
the River Thames, which carries on and we'll meet back up with it after the lock
but then on the left hand side you could see the spray coming off of the weir
is a new river, a new-ish river, it's about 20 years old
and it's the Jubilee River
and it's man-made, it's a hydraulic channel
there you go, never heard of that before have you?
No
Learn something new every day.
You'll watch this vlog and say, well that taught me a lesson.
[Laughs]
and Jubilee River is 7, it's just over 7 miles long
and it bypasses the River Thames, it's supposed to
take the flood water, the excess water away
from Maidenhead and Windsor and stop the flooding and take it around
and it comes back in just after Windsor and Eton
officially it works but if you speak to some other townspeople they say
it actually doesn't and it's made it worse.
I don't know
[Music playing]
So that's the new bridge,
doesn't look that new does it?
It's the road bridge, Maidenhead Road Bridge
and we're just about to go under Maidenhead Railway Bridge
It was built in 1838 by guess who?
Errr,
Mr. Brunel
YAYYYY!
Isambard Kingdon Brunel, it's another one of his
and this one's a bit special because it's the flattest,
widest
brick arch bridge
in the world, the whole world.
The whole world?
Not just in Maidenhead,
but in the whole world.
WOW!
the whole world
and at the time
it was unheard of to design it like that, so everybody was like, it's going to collapse.
It's going to fall down.
I ain't getting a train over that it's going to fall down.
Yeah
Luke Alford wouldn't have been writing five-star reviews on google about it,
[Laughs]
about his train crashing on this.
So we go through the main arch, which is called the Sounding Arch.
Sounding?
Yeah.
Google sounding,
see what comes up.
Errr, no don't, honestly.
[Laughs]
We'll see, we'll see what the echo, what the acoustics are like when we get under there.
[Music playing]
Echo!
Oooh Ooooh!
Why is everybody looking at me?
Hello!
[Laughs]
Hello
[Laughs] Otis has woken up.
We've woken Otis up.
Hello,
Ahhh! You gonna give us a kiss?
[Laughing]
[Music playing]
Back up north, well on the Shroppy we were paying about
68p a litre for diesel.
The cheapest we got it, I can't remember where it was,
it was 55p wasn't it?
Yeah, I can't remember where that was though.
It was one of the fuel boats and they were charging 55p a litre for diesel, for red diesel.
We've just passed a marina,
£1.23 a liter for diesel.
[Laughs] What?
It's more expensive to fill your boat than your car.
[Music playing]
You can tell we're getting closer to Heathrow because the planes are getting lower,
unless there's something wrong we don't know about.
[Laughs]
Just on our starboard side
is a place called Down Place
and to look at it now it just looks like some business units and some houses,
but that's a claim to fame, can you guess what it is?
I've no idea.
You'll never guess in a million years.
Just behind these houses
is a place called the Bray Film Studios
and it's where the Hammer House of Horror films were all recorded.
I know them.
Yeah, so you got like, The Mummy and Curse of Frankenstein and Dracula.
I always used to call it Quartermass, but it's Quatermass
I used to watch all them when I was a kid
and they were all recorded in the Bray Film Studios just across the river from here
and there's a hotel next door
called the Oakley Hotel and that's where a lot of the films were actually filmed
and it's still a hotel, you can go if you're a bit of a film buff.
You can go and see em.
[Music playing]
So that's the last lock of the day done, next stop is Windsor.
On our right hand side is Windsor racecourse and it's a bit unusual,
I was looking on Google Earth and it's like a figure of eight shape.
I thought they narmally, normally went round in circles.
Usually.
Narmally.
Barnsley.
[Laughs]
On our left hand side
is Athens
Oooh just like Greece.
Doesn't look much like Athens does it?
No.
It's a traditional quiet bathing spot
and there's a sign up with some rules on it that are ancient years old
and it says
boys who are undressed
must either get at once into the water or get behind screens
when boats containing ladies come into sight.
Be told.
Anybody would think they were royalty about or something.
[Music playing]
Here we are in Windsor
there it is.
Windsor Castle.
I'm shattered.
I know.
We've been cruising for about four hours,
we've got some water, we got rid of our rubbish.
Shaun's got to go out and find some cash because this is another one that's £10 a night
and we're about six miles from the towpath.
[Shaun] It's very shallow.
We're gonna be here for a couple of days, Shaun's going back up north.
I am.
To see his dad.
and to bring a load of stuff that Amazon won't deliver to post offices.
[Laughs]
So he's coming back with a trailer full of stuff.
We hope you've enjoyed your morning with us it's lunch time, we're gonna go get some dinner.
If you have enjoyed it,
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We're gonna explore Windsor for you for next time.
We're gonna go see if she's in.
[Laughs] If she's in?
Till next time, see ya later, take care, bye.
Ta-ra.
[Music playing]
Good morning
[Laughs]
as soon as you turn the camera on
people magically appear even though it's half past four in the morning.
[Laughs] Half past 4?
YAYY!
WooHoo!
Do you want to show the people your battle scars.
Look.
[Laughs]
In Britain
[Birds screeching]
Even he's cheering
If not a little bit busy, but the Thames is getting busier
as we get like to Henley
and then further down the river.
You having your ear cleaned?
I'm having my ears cleaned.
It's a good job has been wormed isn't it [Laughs]
and then just a little bit further down
[Beeeeeep]
that man and his whistle.
I'm not stopping again if anybody comes, I'm just gonna swear at em
I can't decide whether it sounds like something off Masterchef
or like a place where a crime happened on Scooby Doo.
[Laughs]
Cookham lock, the buttons are the same colour
for open sluices and open gates and if you open
the sluice, if you press the wrong button twice
you have to wait like, I don't know, half an hour is it we've been waiting?
You have to wait for the program to open the sluices again even though they're open.
Anyway, 20 minutes later.
It's a good job we can do editing isn't it.
[Laughs]
Every week, there is a certain part in the vlog every week where the washer starts spinning.
We ought to make it like a regular segment
We're being chased by a wide beam.
I've been eating crisps as well, so if I've got stuff on my mouth.
that's attractive isn't it.
and it says boys who are undressed.
That's you.
and it says boys who are undressed
must Arrggghh!
and it says boys who are undressed
must either get in the water or
There's a man in a boat going no no no no no no.
I think he used to be in 2 Unlimited.
Otis is learning that when he cries and screams, he gets no attention.
That's how you learnt wasn't it?
It is.
[Laughs]
[Music play to the end]
god
you