>>>
>>> I
>>> I PROMISE WE WILL BE HERE ON THE SOMETHING THAT WE HAVE
NATIONALLY KNOWN COMEDIAN WHO
IS HEADING OUR WAY, JEFF SHAW
JOINING US THIS MORNING.
IT IS GREAT TO SEE YOU.
YOU ARE HEADING OUR WAY.
YOU ARE GOING TO BE PERFORMING
THURSDAY THROUGH SATURDAY.
SO, LET'S START RIGHT HERE.
YOU HAVE A VERY UNIQUE COMEDY
STORY.
STORY.
STORY. SO
STORY. SO CAN YOU TELL IT IN A FEW
MINUTES OR LESS?
>> YES.
>> YES.
>> YES. I
>> YES. I STARTED A COMEDY IN 1987 AT
THE CLEVELAND COMEDY CLUB WITH
DREW CAREY AND STEVE HARVEY.
I'M NOT SURE WHAT THOSE TWO
LOSERS ARE DOING NOW THAT I'M
HEADLINING LOUISVILLE THIS
WEEKEND.
WEEKEND.
WEEKEND. IN 1987 I OPENED FOR TIM ALLEN.
HE SAID, WOW YOU A VERY FUNNY
YOUNG MAN.
YOUNG MAN. YOU'RE GOING TO BE A STAR
BEFORE I AM.
SO NOW YOU KNOW WHY HE DOESN'T
HOST THE PSYCHIC FRIENDS
NETWORK.
NETWORK.
NETWORK. BUT I WORKED STAND UP COMEDY
CLUBS FOR ALMOST 20 YEARS.
I WAS A FREELANCE WRITER IN THE
90s AND EARLY 2000 WRITING
HUMOROUS ESSAYS.
HUMOROUS ESSAYS. I EVEN HAD SOME THINGS
PUBLISHED IN THE LOCAL LEO
WEEKLY.
WEEKLY.
WEEKLY. THEN I BECAME A STAFF WRITER
FOR AMERICAN GREETINGS IN 2004
LIKE A MODERN-DAY MR. DEE.
THEN, WHEN I GOT LAID OFF, I
WENT TO GO WORK FOR CARNIVAL
CRUISE LINES.
CRUISE LINES. I WORKED AS A COMEDY CLUB
MANAGER.
MANAGER.
MANAGER. I HAD IT ON 26 SHIPS.
I RETIRED AFTER 10 YEARS
BECAUSE 10 YEARS OF BEING A
CARNIVAL CREWMEMBER WORKING
HUNDRED HOURS A WEEK 10 MONTHS
AT A TIME COULD PREMATURELY AGE
A GUY.
A GUY.
A GUY. LOOK AT ME, I'M 28.
>> [LAUGHTER]
>> [LAUGHTER] >> SO I RETURNED TO STAND UP
COMEDY FULL-TIME IN 2000.
AND MY CAREER IS COMING ALONG
UNTIL THIS HAPPENED.
AND, AMERICA'S GOT TALENT.
IT DIDN'T HEIR BECAUSE IT WAS
SHORT IN 2000 SCHEDULE.
BUT I HAVE TO TELL YOU,
ALTHOUGH I'VE LOST ALL OF MY
BIG PAYING GIGS IN CASINO GIGS
IN TV GIGS FOR THE REST OF THE
YEAR I'M IN A GREAT MOOD
BECAUSE TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH
THIS IS THE FIRST TIME IN MY
ENTIRE LIFE WHERE LOSING MY JOB
WASN'T MY FAULT.
>> IT TAKES SOME SOULLESS AND
ALL OF THAT.
>> YOUR INDUSTRY HAS BEEN HIT
VERY HARD.
VERY HARD. WE ALL KNOW THAT.
BUT RIGHT NOW, WHEN WE TALK TO
PEOPLE THEY WANT TO KNOW HOW
THEY CAN HELP OTHERS.
THEY WANT TO HELP.
AND THEY WANT SOME HUMOR.
THAT'S WHAT THE CARAVAN IS
OFFERING WHEN YOU COME TO TOWN
THIS HOLIDAY WEEK IN THE LATTER
HALF.
HALF.
HALF. BUT
HALF. BUT IN A SAFE MANNER THEY'RE
GOING TO HAVE A GOOD TIME.
>> WE ARE CALLING IT A SPOOKY
COMEDY SHOW.
COMEDY SHOW. IN 2020 LIFE IS SPOOKY AND
SCARY ENOUGH.
SCARY ENOUGH. WE ARE GOING TO TAKE GREAT
PRECAUTIONS.
PRECAUTIONS. THEY WILL BE WEARING MASKS AND
PRACTICING ALL OF THOSE
GUIDELINES.
GUIDELINES. WE HAVE THOSE DIAGRAMS SO
PEOPLE ARE SOCIALLY DISTANCE.
THE COMEDIANS WILL BE WEARING
PPE BEFORE AND AFTER.
I SELL MERCHANDISE AFTER MY
SHOWS.
SHOWS.
SHOWS. ALL OF MY MERCHANDISE IS
SANITIZED AND SEALED.
WE REALLY THE ENTIRE COMEDY
INDUSTRY IS REALLY TAKING IT
SERIOUSLY.
SERIOUSLY. EVERY COMEDY CLUB THAT I WORKED
DOES THEIR BEST TO CREATE A
VERY SAFE AND COMFORTABLE
ENVIRONMENT FOR THEIR GUESTS.
I'VE NEVER BEEN ONE OF THOSE
PEOPLE WHO DIDN'T WANT TO WEAR
A MASK TO WORK.
I THINK IF YOU WEAR A MASK TO
WORK IT'S MUCH EASIER THAN
SAYING, ARE YOU GOING TO SMILE
ALL THE WAY?
>> WELL, I REALLY APPRECIATE IT.
THERE'S NOTHING FUNNY ABOUT THE
CORONAVIRUS IN THE SERIOUSNESS
OF IT.
OF IT.
OF IT. BUT, THIS IS WHAT WE DO FOR
MENTAL HEALTH NEEDS AND ALL
THAT.
THAT.
THAT. I
THAT. I WOULD JUST TELL YOU, THE BEST
PART ABOUT WEARING A MASK IS I
DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT MAKE UP
TO ABOUT HERE.
I AM IN HIGH SMILER.
YOU CAN'T HELP BUT I'M SMILING.
BECAUSE, YOU KNOW JUST BECAUSE
WE'VE BEEN HIT WITH THE
CORONAVIRUS YOU BEENGIVING IT
ALL YOU GOT.
TELL ME ABOUT IT.
>> WELL, I'VE BEEN DOING A LOT
OF WRITING.
OF WRITING. I'VE BEEN WORKING ON A LOT OF
VIRTUAL SHOWS.
VIRTUAL SHOWS. I REALLY LOVE DOING THE VIRTUAL
SHOWS.
SHOWS.
SHOWS. I
SHOWS. I DO A LOT OF THEM FOR
CORPORATIONS.
CORPORATIONS. THEY TELL ME THAT THEIR
EMPLOYEES REALLY ENJOY
TELECONFERENCING FROM HOME SO
MUCH THAT THEY EVEN FIGHT OVER
WHO GETS TO RUN THE MEETINGS.
THAT MAKES SENSE BECAUSE
NOTHING MAKES A MONDAY MORNING
MEETING MORE ENJOYABLE QUITE
LIKE A MUTE BUTTON.
ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT. WE HAVE SHARON FROM ACCOUNTING.
I DON'T THINK SO.
THERE WILL BE NO SHARON TODAY.
IN FACT I'M GOING TO MUTE
MYSELF CRANK UP THE METALLICA
AND MAKE IT LOOK LIKE I AM
AGREEING WITH YOU PEOPLE.
>> [LAUGHTER]
>> [LAUGHTER] >> SO, MOST OF THESE ARE
OUTSIDE OF THE CHALLENGE.
I SPENT ALL DAY RIDING ON MY
CAREER TRYING TO GET AS MANY
VIRTUAL SHOWS.
VIRTUAL SHOWS. A LOT OF THOSE GIGS OPENED UP.
AND THEY GLAD THAT THOSE RECORDS
BASED IN FRANKFURT IS GOING TO
BE RELEASED FROM A STANDUP
COMEDY OUT OF THIS FALL.
SO, PUTTING NEW PRODUCT OUT
THERE GETTING IT PROMOTED ONLINE
HAS GIVEN ME A NEW PURPOSE.
AND VERY PROUD OF IT.
IT'S CALLED THAT BECAUSE OF
SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED TO ME
IN A STARBUCKS NOT TOO LONG
AGO.
AGO.
AGO. AS
AGO. AS YOU CAN TELL, I'M A PRETTY
UPBEAT GUY.
UPBEAT GUY. THERE IS NOTHING THREATENING
ABOUT ME.
ABOUT ME.
ABOUT ME. LOOK AT ME.
I LOOK LIKE JANE LYNCH'S STUNT
DOUBLE.
DOUBLE.
DOUBLE. BUT THE GREAT THING IS, IS I
HAVE VERY HIGH VOICE.
IT'S A PERFECT VOICE FOR
POLITICS.
POLITICS.
POLITICS. IT WOULD PROTECT ME FROM
POLITICAL SCANDALS.
POLITICAL SCANDALS. I DIDN'T HAVE ROMANTIC
RELATIONSHIPS OF THAT WOMAN, WE
BELIEVE YOU.
BELIEVE YOU. BUT THE GREAT THING ABOUT THAT
IS YOU KNOW WHEN I'M A SMART
ALEC OFFSTAGE IN EVERYDAY LIFE
AND MAKE PEOPLE LAUGH.
IT'S SO MUCH BETTER THAN
UPSETTING THEM.
UPSETTING THEM. I WENT TO STARBUCKS NOT LONG
AGO.
AGO.
AGO. ACTUALLY WAS LAST YEAR.
AND THE BARISTA SET AND I HAVE
A NAME FOR THE CUP?
AND I SAID, YES.
IT IS JUST.
AND SHE SAID IS IT JEFF WITH TO
ASK?
ASK?
ASK? AND
ASK? AND I SAID TO PICK GOOD CATCH.
BECAUSE I'D HATE TO SEE WHAT
WOULD HAPPEN IF YOU ONLY WROTE
DOWN ONE.
DOWN ONE.
DOWN ONE. DECAF LATTE.
DECAF LATTE. EXCUSE ME MISS.
WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?
>> [LAUGHTER]
>> [LAUGHTER] >> BECAUSE IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU
ARE SAYING IT WITH ONE AND I AM
WITH YOU.
WITH YOU.
WITH YOU. I WOULD HATE FOR THERE TO BE
MULTIPLE WHO HAD THE SAME
AMOUNT OF NUMBERS.
THEY BOTH ORDERED THE SAME
SKINNY DECAF LATTE.
SHE SAID IS THERE SOMETHING
WRONG WITH YOU?
AND I SAID THAT DEPENDS.
>> [LAUGHTER]
>> [LAUGHTER] >> ARE YOU ALLOWED IN STARBUCKS
ANYMORE?
ANYMORE?
ANYMORE? >> THEY LIKE ME.
>> THANK YOU SO MUCH.
THANK YOU FOR JOINING US THIS
MORNING.
MORNING.
MORNING. I CANNOT WAIT TO HAVE YOU.
>> THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME.
>> OF COURSE.
>> HE IS HEADLINING THURSDAY
THROUGH SATURDAY THIS WEEK.
THAT'S RIGHT.
THAT'S RIGHT. ALL THE WAY TO HALLOWEEN.
THAT'S WHERE THE