Transcriber: Krisha Parikh Reviewer: Khalil Ur Rehman
I was driving with my kids in
a downtown area where there were dozens of tents under a bridge housing
a homeless people. I hadn't been to that area in a while,
so I was shocked to see the explosion of the homeless population.
I use that as an opportunity to remind my kids how privileged we were to have
a comfortable home and food to eat.
My eight year old daughter asked me why they had their tent under the bridge.
That was an interesting question. Where else would they put them?
I was curious, so I asked her what she thought.
My daughter answered me with a beautiful and innocent sense of imagination
as only a child would. She said that they should at least put their tents where
there are trees and grass so that they could explore nature.
The moment she said this, my eyes focused on a blue tent
and it made me extremely anxious.
At first I didn't know why it was happening,
but I could feel my heart rate increasing as the anxiety was building and
I no longer heard anything else my daughter was saying. Why did this happen?
At that moment, I had a flood of thoughts in my mind that started to explore
the worst case scenario. I was reminded that I too lived in a blue tent for
a period of time when I was young.
Oddly, this is a memory that I had managed to suppress for over 20 years,
and it suddenly flashed back before my eyes that day in less than one minute.
My inner critic scolded me about the money I was spending,
how I wasn't saving enough, and how spoiled my kids were.
My imagination immediately took me to a place where I lost my job,
could no longer pay my bills, and finally lost my house.
The interesting thing is that this experience was in such contrast to how
I actually lived that experience as a child.
As a child, of course, I longed to have a home.
I wanted to have the normal things that other kids had. Mostly I wanted food.
Whereas most kids dreaded going back to school after summer break.
I didn’t think it was bad.
It meant having air conditioning and two solid meals through
the school meal program. Of course, there were other challenges.
Going back to school without new clothes
or new school supplies always resulted in being bullied and made fun of.
However, the actual experience of living in a tent did not carry
the anxiety that surfaced that day as I was driving.
Instead, my brothers and I did exactly what my daughter had suggested.
We spent our free time exploring nature.
We chased squirrels and threw rocks and climbed the highest trees possible.
Something I would never allow my kids to do now.
However, the point is that we weren't worrying. We weren't fearful.
Our only concern was what we could do for fun. What could we find?
Where could we explore? I imagined all
the things that we would one day have.
In other words, I use my imagination to explore the possibilities.
Today, every single one of those desires has come true.
What I didn't tell you about this story is that at that time of that event,
I had already experienced severe work exhaustion for a third time.
This left me in a vulnerable state where I imagined the worst.
This experience made me realize that I had evolved and I was missing one of
the key ingredients to the recipe that built my success.
I had lost my positive imagination and my sense of possibility.
I thought that working harder was the answer,
and when the work harder approach was no longer working. I was scared.
As adults, we have evolved to allow our inner critic to take control,
which results in using our imagination in unproductive ways. How does this happen?
The answer is because of that inner critic who is out of control
and leading us down the exact wrong path.
When worry and imagination intersect,
the result is the nightmare in our heads seems to spiral out of control.
In turn, we shift our focus from taking care of ourselves and
the things that are important to us to worrying unnecessarily.
We are creating our own suffering. This idea isn't new. We've heard it before.
The Buddha has said nothing can harm you as much as your own thoughts and guarded.
My modern day translation.
We need to stop using our imaginations to play out our worst case fears
and instead use it to create possibilities just like we did
as children.
There are many common things that we hear leading to success.
But how often do you hear about our positive imagination? Not often, if ever.
It's hard to see. Why have we lost our imagination? We haven't.
We just use it differently now. Why does this problem exist?
How did we evolve from a place where our imaginations were bubbling with amazing
possibilities to a place where fear and negativity overwhelm our lives?
When we don't take care of ourselves, we end up in a vulnerable state.
Let's take sleep, for example.
Anyone who has a child knows you never wake a sleeping baby.
They need their sleep. We make sure they get their sleep. Yet.
The Centers for Disease Control did a study in nine states
and found that by middle school, 57% of students were not getting enough sleep.
That number increased to 72% by high school. What about exercise?
When I was a child, I was always outside playing sports.
Now, if I'm not in a routine, it's a chore for me.
According to the CDC, less than 5% of adults participate in at least 30 minutes
of physical activity a day.
When we are not taking care of ourselves,
our minds are not equipped to handle the stresses of life.
We become easily influenced by other people's opinions.
The key to regaining our positive imagination is to embrace
the activities going to help us are best selves.
In the past, when I was frustrated or upset,
my husband would tell me to just breathe.
How frustrating is that when you're angry for someone to say, just breathe.
Plus, I didn't believe it would actually work.
How is breathing going to help me?
Actually, believe it or not,
a lot of research supports breathing techniques for stress reduction.
As children. When adults told us something,
we believed them many times that was good for us.
However, this also means that a lot of our beliefs are not our own.
We learned them from someone else and took them to be true.
We also do this as adults, and that's not good. Why?
Many in our society lead stressful, unhealthy lifestyles,
whereas our parents had our best interests at heart.
That's not the case from others who feed us advice now.
I don't mean that they're intentionally beating us self-sabotaging ideas,
but in fact they are. They are projecting their fears and insecurities onto us.
If you have somehow maintained your positive sense of imagination,
then I have no doubt that you've noticed this Unintentionally,
people plant the seeds of self-doubt.
Maybe you’ve decided you’ll start a business.
If you talk to others about this, you might hear things like, Isn't that risky?
What if it doesn't make it? Did you know that 90% of businesses fail?
Is this true or is it a skewed perspective?
What about the acceptance rate to medical school? It depends where you go.
But I went to the Texas A&M College of Medicine.
The acceptance rate is currently 20% .
That means if I applied right now,
I would have an 80% chance of not getting accepted.
The odds were even less when I applied 20 years ago.
I still remember hearing someone say,
Can you believe Liz thinks she's going to medical school?
If I had listened to that person, I wouldn't be a doctor today.
Even with positivity and creativity,
things don't always end up exactly the way we see them.
But it puts us in the path to grow in a positive way.
When I decided I was going to give a TED talk,
I purchased a red circle rug and I put that at the entrance to my office.
I started imagining what it would look like to share my message.
Today, as I give this talk, I have that rug sitting under my feet.
As adults, we have evolved to allow our inner critic to take control,
which results in using our imagination in unproductive ways.
This is how we limit ourselves. So what does this mean?
What can we do to change?
How can we get back to a place of
a childlike state where positive imagination and creativity flow?
I have five ideas to offer you. Number one , practice awareness.
We're often on autopilot and don't realize when we are thinking in
a negative way. When your mood is down
or you hear something that leaves you feeling bad.
Recognize that for what it is a negative state.
With that awareness, you can change what you are doing that puts you there.
It can be something as simple as going for a walk or turning off the TV.
Number two, take care of yourself.
When you are not meeting your mental and physical needs,
it's hard to view things in a positive light.
Your body and mind resist because you're trying to protect you.
This is why sleep, exercise, meditation and all of those recommendations,
they work because they nourish your body and mind.
Number three, reject the naysayers.
The second you have an amazing idea that's immediately dismissed by someone
else. Remember that it has nothing to do with your idea.
The other person just can't see the possibility.
They are stuck in a negative place and they're projecting that onto you.
Number four. Remind yourself that every new product,
every new business and every new idea is
the result of someone's positive imagination.
It's a result of someone seeing the possibility as something that doesn't
yet exist. And number five, remember that you're going to use your imagination.
Either way, you can picture amazing possibilities
or you can picture horrible things that could happen, but probably never will.
Why is it so culturally acceptable that picture the worst case scenario
and talk about it far and wide.
But when we talk about positive imagination and ideas,
it's considered a little crazy. Your ideas are brilliant.
Even if others can't see the possibility.
It's just something that they don't understand.
I believe that using our imagination in a positive way is one of
the true keys to fulfillment.
When we take care of ourselves, we start to show up differently.
We're more confident, we think more clearly,
we become more innovative and our creativity blossoms.
It's up to you to unlock that key
and protect yourself when others unknowingly impose their negativity
on you. Embrace the positive side of your imagination and make this world
a better place for you and everyone around you.