Spiders are horrible, eight-legged, bazillion-eyed creatures of human nightmares.
If you like spiders, you've forgotten that they tried to eat Frodo AND Harry Potter.
And yet, scientists insist upon telling us that spiders are just misunderstood.
Here's why you shouldn't kill spiders in your house.
Spiders: Pest control for free
According to Science Daily, spiders consume between 400 million and 800 million tons of
insects every single year.
They eat flies, earwigs, cockroaches, and those obnoxious moths that leave holes in
your sweaters.
But scientists say you shouldn't kill that terrifying eight-legged thing climbing all
over your walls as you try to eat breakfast.
"Why on Earth not?" you're probably wondering.
Well, it's because spiders do a great job at controlling pests.
Thanks so much, you helpful, totally horrific thing!
They don't want to hurt you
Prepare to have your world shattered: Spiders aren't actually all that aggressive with humans.
In fact, they tend to avoid people, so it's unlikely you'll ever meet the majority of
spiders that lurk inside your home.
That was intended to be a comforting thought.
We swear.
"Do it!"
Sure, the Sydney Funnel Web spider has been known to attack people… and its fangs are
sharp enough to cut through leather.
But if you don't live in Australia, you almost definitely have nothing to worry about.
We said almost.
Fearing spiders is silly
In a 2014 Wired article entitled "I promise: spiders are not trying to kill you," entomologist
Gwen Pearson suggests our fear of spiders is irrational.
Your mind tends to exaggerate the size, speed, and intentions of things you're afraid of.
So when you see a tiny spider, your brain might process it as a monstrous, twenty-ton
killing machine.
In fact, your fear of spiders is a learned behavior.
You don't fear spiders because we're programmed to fear spiders.
You're afraid of spiders because your parents were terrified of them.
Basically, science is telling you to get over yourself because your fear of spiders is stupid.
Nice attitude, science.
Spiders are clean.
No, really.
Spider webs might get messy, but arachnologists want you to know that spiders themselves are
actually quite clean.
In fact, they even groom themselves, since any debris on their legs could cause them
to get caught in their own webs.
Which would be embarrassing.
But spider bites can get infected, right?
Well, according to Science Daily, bacterial infections from spider bites are quite uncommon.
Blame your doctor if your arm needs to be amputated because of that, quote, "spider
bite."
A recent study found that, out of 182 patients claiming to have spider bites, only about
4 percent actually did.
Most of the other patients had skin infections.
"Be afraid.
Be very afraid.
Everything about you is changing."
Don't just take them outside
Before you take that spider outside, totally secure in the knowledge that you're doing
Mother Nature a solid... consider this.
There are some species of spider that actually evolved to live inside, and they won't survive
in the great outdoors.
Of course, many species positively thrive outside.
“Arania Exumai!”
“Go!”
According to Mother Nature News, about 95 percent of the spiders you find in your house
didn't wind up there by accident.
They were born and raised in your home, and they've never been outside at all.
In other words, that spider you just scooped up in newspaper and gently released on your
porch doesn't have much of a chance at survival.
Now who's the monster?
"Can you check under my bed?"
"You were just having a bad dream."
You're fighting a losing battle
Now we come to the final reason you shouldn't eradicate the spiders in your house: Like
a bug caught in a spider's web, you're fighting a losing battle.
According to the Sydney Morning Herald, the goal is, quote, "pest control, not pest eradication."
Whether you stomp them, spray them, or wash them down the sink… they'll just keep coming
back.
But perhaps you'll take comfort in this little fact: You're not alone.
A 2016 survey of 50 homes in North Carolina found that every single one of them contained
spiders.
The average home reportedly hosted around 100 different species of arthropod, the group
that includes both spiders and insects.
Surely all those spiders hiding in every dark corner of your home must be doing something
positive, right?
For now, let's listen to the entomologists… until they start telling us we should start
letting cockroaches live in our homes, too.
"I hope you die!"