Many things were different in the 16th century, from the way illness and disease was dealt with
and treated, to the ways in which the royal court would deal with many aspects of the
King and Queen’s lives. But one of the biggest changes what has occurred over time is how the
ideals and perceptions of marriage and love have altered over time, and the Tudors would
have some very strict rules on marriage and also even sex. But what were these?
During the Tudor Period, a marriage was said to have been a successful one if it was not
necessarily a love match, but more one which brought financial prosperity to the family
of the bride and also the groom. The groom might receive a good dowry payment for the bride and for
his wife, and the bride might receive some form of social advancement and a rise throughout their
status due to connections in the family. But love was often ignored and there were many examples
during the Tudor Period where two people who were in love were shunned and banished for their love
and for the fact they married without seemingly getting permission. This occurred to Mary Boleyn,
the sister of Queen Anne Boleyn and sister in law of King Henry VIII. She was chastised by
the royal couple for marrying a man who was considered way below her status, and because
of this she would even be banished from the court regardless of the fact she loved this man.
But the higher someone was up the social class in the Tudor Period, it was less likely that
they would have some element of choice with regards to who they would marry. Some children
were married off, even at the age of 12 as this was considered the minimum age by the church
for someone to enter full marriage. But when families negotiated with regards to marriage
these were often very intense and would be very formal. The father of the bride was expected to
pay what was known as a dowry payment for the rise in the social status of his daughter,
and the father would hope that his daughter would secure him a raise in his social standing too.
The contract of marriage would be drawn up, and money would be given to the husband to
fund property and a way of life for his wife and families, and there were also agreements drawn up
as to portions of the dowry which were owned and allowed to be used by a wife during the marriage.
It was said at the time that, ‘A father’s ability to provide for the rest of his
children often depended upon his heir’s making the most advantageous match available to him.
The connection can be seen quite clearly in a document like the will of Thomas Stonor who wished
the proceeds of the sale of his son’s marriage to be used to marry his five daughters.’ Some fathers
would become power obsessed, and they would see their daughters as pawns to be played in a game
of chess to get them more power and status. Thomas Boleyn is a man who was considered rather power
hungry, and he would see his daughters at times as dispensible as long as they could get him some
form of advancement and favour In the eyes of the King. When Anne Boleyn did marry the King,
the Boleyn family rose to dizzying heights because of this, and Thomas believed he had done his duty.
But sometimes marriage agreements would go wrong, and one of the most famous saw the first wife of
Henry VIII stranded in England virtually under house arrest. Catherine of Aragon was first
married to Henry’s older brother Arthur Tudor but shortly after the wedding Arthur died, and because
of this Catherine was stuck in England. Henry VII was unwilling to give the dowry payment back as
he needed this in England, and Catherine was then stuck and was held in the palaces. Henry VII even
considered marrying her himself following the death of his wife Elizabeth of York,
before he then married her off to ing Henry VIII. Also the wife of Henry
VIII’s much elevated illegitimate son Henry Fitzroy, Mary Howard was scammed out of her
rights to Fitzroy’s estates as following his death, Henry VIII found a way out of
this as it was said the marriage had never been consummated between the two before Fitzroy died.
But marriage was not to always bring happiness, this was almost an after thought when it came to
Tudor marriages. If the couple found love that was considered a good thing, but successful marriages
were not measured on happiness but they were measured on children who were produced. Henry
VIII was known for his disastrous marriages, but when he married Catherine of Aragon it’s
believed he was smitten with her and he even wrote her sonnets and love songs. Catherine
would love Henry VIII but this came over time, and she did bear a number of children, many of
whom died and the royal couple experienced a lot before their marriage went downhill.
Weddings in the Tudor Period were similar to today, as they could be a simple and
straightforward affair, but they could also be huge celebrations. Some of Henry VIII’s marriages
were actually rather intimate and quiet affairs which would take place inside of private chambers
in chapels, for example he married Catherine Parr quietly inside of Hampton Court Palaces’ Chapel
Royal. But other marriages could be large parties, and these usually came after the marriage ceremony
had taken place. A legally binding marriage at the time needed only the man and woman to refer to
themselves and acknowledge themselves as husband and wife in front of some witnesses. With this,
Catherine Howard the executed 5th wife of Henry VIII could be considered to have entered an
invalid relationship with the King as she had technically and legally for this reason been
married to Francis Dereham as she acknowledged she was his wife in front of others. Couples
could also be married by proxy and this was mostly done for children who could not travel
to foreign lands or far away places. But Princess Mary Tudor would also have someone consummate her
marriage to the King of France by proxy, as she had a courtier touch her bare foot with his leg.
With regards to sex, this was during the Tudor Period sometime that was reserved
only really for the purpose of having children. Childbirth was incredibly dangerous for mother
and child at this time, and around 50% of all children would die before the age of 5,
and there was a high death rate amongst women who would give birth. They often suffered conditions
such as childbed fever, so because of this sex was considered rather dangerous. Pleasure during
this act was said to have been part of this duty, and Henry VIII would fall in love with Catherine
Howard his teenage and young mistress and then want to marry her due to the pleasure she gave
him. Interestingly, sex was also banned across Tudor England on Sundays, Wednesdays, Fridays,
Feast and Fast days during lent, during the daytime and also three days before someone
would take holy communion. There was even charts devised to document this. Following childbirth,
sex was banned for around a month and some doctors stated that one should abstain for
longer after the birth of a girl. Because of all these rules, the church was banning sex for around
40% of the year, and this would be followed by many due to their devotion to religion.
But as mentioned for many women childbirth would be a death sentence, and tow Tudor Queens who had
the best royal doctors and physicians would succumb to their complications after they
gave birth. Elizabeth of York died shortly after giving birth inside of the Tower of London and
Jane Seymour would also die following giving birth to Henry VIII’s successor Edward VI in
Hampton Court Palace. But women following birth if this was not successful would be expected to try
and get pregnant as quickly as possible, and what we now know is that following giving birth women
are slightly more fertile and are more likely to conceive a child. However there was little
regard for the woman’s feelings and emotions with regards to a stillbirth or a death of a child.
Also if a child was born, it was expected in the upper classes that the parents were rather
distant as affection would spoil a child. With this Kings and Queens would visit their children
inside of the royal nursery where many women and staff would actually raise the children.
There was an expectation that even in the early years that only the strongest children would live,
for example after being roughly 50 days old, the eldest son of King Henry VIII,
Henry the Duke of Cornwall died inside of the royal nursery following huge celebrations for
what would have been the heir and King of England if this tragedy did not take place.
However marriages, love and sex was incredibly different to how it
is today during the Tudor Period. It is also interesting to note that many men,
husbands and fathers would encourage their wives and daughters to sleep with men of high
rank and become their mistress. For example if a woman became a mistress of the King then the
family were given grants and rewards of land, titles and finances. This was rather sick,
but sex was seen as a way by many as advancement for not just the woman, as these were rather
cast aside at the expense of the interests of the family. But it was a very strange time.
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