Does your ex miss you?
Today, we are going to be answering the question, does my ex miss me?
And we're going to be telling you what you can do to set yourself up for success if you
want to get back together with your ex.
Anyway, my name is Clay and this is the Relationship Inner Game channel where we help people get
dating and relationship outcomes without BS or mind games.
If at any time during this video you like what we're doing, please feel free to subscribe
like this video or leave a comment down below.
If your ex and you actually had an emotional connection during your time together, then
yes, your ex really does miss you.
Okay.
Even if the relationship ended poorly with fights or hurt feelings or things like that,
your ex probably can look back on the time that you had together and say there were nice
parts to that.
Yeah,
so trust that your ex does miss you.
Now your ex might be covering up those feelings for you and they might be kind of walling
them out, but it doesn't mean that they're not there.
There's a lot of things that your ex might be doing to try and hide from those feelings
or to keep themselves from feeling them.
But it doesn't mean that those feelings aren't there.
And it doesn't mean that your ex doesn't miss you.
Your ex might be posturing.
That's one thing.
That's where they kind of pretend that they aren't impacted.
They might say things like, oh, I never loved you.
You never meant anything to me.
Our time together, it was a waste.
And it can be kind of hurt when they say things like that, but it's just them trying to protect
themselves from feeling the complete devastation that they would feel if they were honest.
And they said, yeah, I really did love you and I thought that you might be the one, but
then whatever happened happened and we ended up breaking up and I got hurt emotionally
and that can be too much for them.
So they might do things like posture.
They might also do things like create a negative image of you in order to break up with you.
Your ex needs to see you in a way as somebody who's worth breaking up with.
So what they might do sometimes is they might exaggerate things about you or add things
to the story that weren't there in order to create this version of you in their mind that
they can say, yeah, I should break up with them.
And that might not be an accurate depiction of you.
Your ex might be interacting with you in a way where you're not really who you are, but
they're interacting with this concept of you that they thought was worthy of breaking up
with you.
And so that's why it might not seem like they miss you because they're like, oh, you lied
all the time, and maybe you didn't lie all the time.
Maybe you told one white lie once or something.
And that's what kind of caused this whole thing to escalate to a breakup.
But they now think that you are a chronic liar.
And so again, that's just a defense mechanism to keep themselves from feeling the pain that
they probably legitimately feel if they allowed themselves to feel what's going on.
And so what do you need to do to get back together with your ex?
Well, there's two important things.
Well actually three.
The first one is you need to demonstrate to your ex that they're not walking back into
the same relationship that they walked out of in the first place.
This means whatever caused the two of you to break up.
You need to fix that, okay?
If it was lying, you need to understand why you lied and make sure that doesn't happen
again and be a truthful, honest person that they can trust and that's really important.
Your ex is not going to walk back into the same relationship that they walked out of
in the first place.
So you need to fix whatever you need to fix.
The second thing you need to do is you need to make interacting with you feel good on
an emotional level.
If the two of you interact with one another and it feels good and you're uplifted by the
fact that you're interacting with one another, then that is a very good reason for the two
of you to come back together in a relationship again.
I mean, if the problem that caused the relationship to break up is resolved and interacting feels
good, why wouldn't you get back together?
That leads us to the third thing, and this may or may not be an issue with some people,
but um, that's, you need to eliminate friction.
Now, friction is this external stuff that shows up that might be keeping you and your
ex from actually being in a relationship with one another.
So for example, maybe your ex is in a rebound relationship with somebody else.
Obviously if they're going to get back together with you, they need to break up with that
other person.
So that rebound relationship is friction.
Or if one of the reasons that they broke up with you is because they were just fed up
and tired with a long distance relationship.
Ending that long distance thing is, number one.
And showing them that they're not walking back into the same dynamic that they walked
out of.
But number two, it's also some friction, right?
Because if the two of you are in a long distance relationship, then it's going to make things
harder.
More examples of friction might be like, oh, they've already gone through the kind of difficult
process of telling all of their friends and family that the two of you broke up and they
don't want to kind of tell all those people that you're back together again unless they're
really sure that things are going to work out because they don't want to say, oh, we're
back together again and tomorrow say, oh, we broke up again.
Right.
That's kind of embarrassing.
So they, they might be holding back on getting back together with you until they're really
super sure because they don't want to look foolish in front of their friends and family.
So that's friction.
And if you can do those three things, then you're going to set yourself up to get back
together with your ex.
Anyway.
I hope this has helped you out.
If you like what we're doing, give us a thumbs up or subscribe to this channel.
Go ahead and ask any questions that you've got down below in the comment section.
We do our best to respond to as many comments as we possibly can.
Um, and oftentimes there's some great tips, advice and strategies down in the comment
section.
And if you all want a little bit more help, please head on over to our website RelationshipInnerGame.com.
It's down in the description, um, or you can just go type it into your browser and you
can go ahead and get some advice, strategies and tips over on our email newsletter over
there.
Anyway, this has been Clay and I'll talk to you in the next video.
Take care.