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[music plays] Here's a fascinating question I get a lot.
Does it bother me that I don't know if anyone is watching me
or staring at me. It's funny when I walk around with my
cane, I do, I feel like everybody is watching me.
I feel like if there are people around they are watching me. And simply because
there's not a lot of blind people around and for a lot of people
I might be the first time they've ever seen one.
So I do, I think people
are watching me a lot. And if the roles were reversed
and I had never seen a blind person walking with cane, you better believe I'd
be watching. I don't think that's rude but I think
it's just simple curiosity more than anything. Now, this is the thing,
I don't know if I understand the difference between watching and staring.
I know that staring is a bit more rude than watching.
Parents always say, "Don't stare... that's not polite, don't stare."
But what's the difference between staring and watching. I would think
that to watch something is okay but to stare
means your eyes are wide open and you're just concentrating on
this one thing and you're just transfixed if you will.
I imagine people do both to me. I think people are looking at me
because I'm walking with a white cane. I think people are looking because I'm not quite
walking in a straight line. You know.
Or maybe I'm about to walk into something. Now, do I
notice it in a restaurant for example, if I'm sitting there eating?
I might not notice that. Let's say I'm in a place
by myself. I'm at a booth alone, okay. And I'm having
a little lunch and if there's somebody staring at me from
two - three tables away I have no idea. But if I'm with somebody
and we're having lunch together and then afterward we're talking
and he says, "You know, the person was staring at you
for the entire time and it made me uncomfortable."
Wow. Okay, I get that too.
[music plays] A part of this question is about
can I feel the eyes on me.
Like I've heard people say that they're burning a hole in the back of my head from
looking at me so much, right. But I think that's a sighted thing.
I don't think I would be able eyes on me
because I don't know what that is. How could I know?
It's got to be a sighted thing. I don't think I've ever felt eyes on me
before. I don't think I've ever been in a situation
where I've been like, [gasp] "I know everybody is watching me."
You know, staring at me. I always assume that
because I'm different and because people have never seen it
and they want to see if I can make it and all that stuff.
Now, if I was walking around and there were 20 hands on me
I'd feel that. I know what that would be like.
You know, people trying to stop me and push me and pull me and the whole thing.
But, with eyes I don't really get that.
[music plays] When there are sighted people around,
I'm not quite sure who's watching all the time, you know,
so I have to be careful. So for example, if somebody comes over, if I live with
somebody or that kind of thing. I'm afraid to
maybe pick my teeth in front of somebody right
because I don't know if they're going to see that, or touch my nose
or my ear or some weird thing.
You know... I never know. And I understand that
people aren't watching everything
but are you going to see this little moment. I never quite know.
Whether or not somebody's watching.
But I'm very self conscious when there's sighted people around unless
you're in another room. If we're yelling across the house to each other, then I know
that things are cool and I could do whatever I have to do.
And you can't see it, but in the same room...
I got to be careful. Sometimes I
might goof it up. Where I'll be talking to somebody and they're
out of the room but I guess they're straight ahead and they can still see into
the room. Or, the other way around. You know, that they're
around a corner and I think, "well, you sound so close. You should be
able to see this." But I don't understand that you can't see around the corner.
That happens too. Another thing
that happens when I'm around sighted people is I can't tell what they're doing
all the time. If I just start to talk to somebody and they don't
respond I'm going, "I know you're still here."
"Oh, yeah, you might be on your phone or something like that."
It happens all the time. I never quite know what
sighted people are doing. There are times when I'll be talking to somebody
and maybe they get distracted or have to go away
for a quick second while I'm talking to them and I'm just sitting there talking going,
"Hello. [gasp] Oh, you really did leave."
"Wait, I'll be right back!"
And that's a time where I thought they were right there looking at me.
Totally engaged in what I had to say. And they got distracted
and had to leave. Isn't it funny. I'm talking about sighted
people watching me and then sighted people not even looking.
It's very hard to know.
[music plays] Just because I'm blind people think that I
can't really stare at somebody, right, but I do.
It's not staring with my eyes, but you better believe
I'm checking people out. I listen to conversations.
I just start to zero in on a conversation. For example,
if we're having lunch or something like that. And there's somebody at the next table talking about
something interesting, I am all in. And I'm transfixed
just like you would be with your eyes if you were watching somebody.
And I'm just all on that conversation.
You know, people are like, "Tommy, what are doing?" "Shh, they're talking
about something cool over here. Hang on a second."
I love that so I'm guilty of it too. And this is why
I talk quietly when I'm out.
[music plays] Hey, by the way,
I want to recommend a channel to you. A couple weeks ago at YouTube Space LA,
I happen to meet a lovely couple who have a channel called Wranglerstar.
And what these guys did is very cool. They left
the city to become modern homesteaders up in the rugged mountains
of the Pacific Northwest. These guys do all
kinds of outdoorsy stuff. You know, cutting down
big trees and building things and putting things together.
Just doing it all on their own. It's off the grid stuff
and it's amazing and it's honestly stuff I never really knew about
before so I'm learning a lot from these guys as well.
A couple of the videos I really like, well one of them
is where he's talking about these handmade clamps that he uses
that are very intricate. Another, he's demonstrating a
tractor and how it works, and my favorite talking about
these steel pants he wears. I swear to god, he wears metal pants.
He also does videos about everything
that's going on in the world and stuff that's happening on YouTube like
channels getting hacked. He also talks about YouTube ad revenue
being cut and even all that stuff that went on with
PewDiePie and how Casey Neistat reacted to it and everything.
He just brings a real different perspective to it. It's very grounded.
I love listening to him talk about it. So check him out.
Subscribe to his channel. Look, there's a link right there on the screen
and in the description as well. Hey, you got to get me a pair of those metal pants, man.
I bet they go with everything.