- Hi, can I get you something to drink?
- What kind of waters do you offer?
- Just the cool clear stuff that comes out of the tap.
- That would be great.
- Okay, great, one water.
(electronic music)
- Ian?
Ian.
Ian, hey man! (laughs)
(growls) My man, good to see you dude! (laughs)
Woo!
That's my dude!
- What're we looking at?
- English breakfast tea, I used to drink Earl Grey,
too much caffeine gave me the jitters.
- Uh-huh.
(FishermansWorf growls)
I don't think they allow outside food in here.
- Oh, don't worry about it, I'll buy something later.
I can't believe I got you out here, man. (laughs)
- Zabrecki must be silenced.
- It's just cool we get to know each other in real life now.
Yep, you're a shallow-breather.
(breathes quickly) In and out, yeah, it's shallow.
I wouldn't have known that if we didn't meet in real life.
- Let's see the schematic.
- Yeah!
Stuff outta the way.
(loud scraping)
(grunts)
No no no, I got it, I got it!
Got it.
Prepare for your mind (rubber band loudly shifts)
to be blown.
- Oh shit!
Why would he put the Jefferies tube
so far from the warp core?
The entire core is shielded,
anyone inside the tubes would be fine!
- Exactly!
- Oh my god, and we know exactly how far
the core is from the tubes from episode 618.
- Yeah, I mean Picard wouldn't
have been able to fit under the door, man.
- (laughs) The Baryon sweep would've got him!
It's like Zabrecki never even saw the episode!
(laughs)
Yeah, this is enough to completely discredit Zabrecki.
Forever.
Well.
- Woah woah woah, hey, hey!
What's going on right now?
You totally changed.
- No I didn't.
- Yes, no, you totally did!
Dude, the Ian I know would be going
nuts right now, are you kidding me?
You'd be sending me all these weird GIFs, my computer
would be crashing-- - "Jiffs".
- What?
- It's pronounced "jiffs", you can't say "giff"--
- No, definitely pronounced "giffs".
- Don't say "giff" around me in public,
you sound like an idiot, it's "jiff"--
- Dude, you sound like an idiot with "jiff".
It's not peanut butter!
- The man who invented it is still alive.
- It doesn't matter.
Okay, you can still be excited in real life.
- I am excited.
- Isn't it sweet to share this moment with me?
- Yeah, and it'd be sweeter online.
I mean we could be playing our own victory songs.
- Dude, you cannot be one of those
nerdy shut-ins that they play on TV.
It is our responsibility to constantly fight the damage
that Big Bang Theory has done to our people, man.
- Do not associate me with those fucking assholes.
I am not anti-social.
- When you're playing a solo victory song
in headphones, pretty anti-social, dude.
- Do you know how many active conversations
I'm in right now?
- Virtual interaction, Ian.
- Couldn't happen in real life.
More people means more social.
- Think of the big picture, man.
- Don't you like having the time to come up with a response
when someone says something to you?
- I just like to think off the top of my head,
say whatever comes to mind.
- And that's you.
Okay, but the first response that comes to my head
isn't always representative of who I...
of who I really am.
- So...
what you're saying is the Ian I know
is just some curated version of a human being?
- You're right, you're exactly right.
I'm leaving.
- What?
- You were right about Zabrecki's mistake,
you should post it on the forums and you take the credit.
- Oh, I get it, I see what's going on.
You don't want to show your true
Star Trek colors in front of some girl?
- What girl?
- The only girl in here, man!
- No!
Okay, she's irrelevant to this situation, okay?!
- Yeah, well that's the kind of message you send
when you act embarrassed about Star Trek.
'Cause nerds will reign supreme in this world,
they can and will do anything, Ian.
Including dating hot waitress--
- Not about the waitress!
- Hey, cute waitress!
This guy thinks you're cute.
- I do not think you're cute, I mean,
obviously you're very attractive,
everyone thinks you're very attractive.
Everyone's talking about you being very...
no it's, no one's talking, we're talking about tubes.
- Okay, he's great, he's obviously a little bit annoying,
but he's so smart and he has a great job,
and he knows a shit-ton
about Star Trek: The Next Generation.
And isn't it awesome he's passionate about something
in a world where everyone just cares
a little bit about too many things?
- Yeah.
That's awesome, is this the Enterprise-D?
- [Ian] Oh, yeah it is!
- Oh, cool!
- [FishermansWorf] Woah what the hell, what're you doing?!
- Fuck you, Trekkie nerds.
Star Wars is the only credible sci-fi universe.
- [Ian] Oh my god! - [FishermansWorf] What?
- She's so hot.
- [FishermansWorf] It'd be blasphemy.
- [Ian] Romeo and Juliet.
- [FishermansWorf] What's the world coming to, man?
- [Ian] We gotta get online.
- [FishermansWorf] Okay.