Good afternoon, Randy Jackson.
Oh, you are looking spiffy today.
Now, is there something you'd like to say to me?
Yeah, we got us a hot one tonight, baby.
[shrieking, chuckles]
Oh, RJ. [chuckles]
You know, I just finished my workout.
Would you like to see how toned my glutes are?
I have been waiting outside for nine and a half minutes.
So?
So, when you were ready to be born,
did I keep you waiting?
Yes. You were pregnant with me for 11 months.
I wanted to make sure you were done.
Mrs. Benson, you're kind of drawing a crowd.
Oh. Are you all Freddie's friends?
No, no, no, Mom, they're not all my friends.
Who wants to see his baby pictures?
I do.
Oh, good. I've got a bunch on my phone.
- Mrs. Benson- - Mom, do not show them-
Here is Freddie wearing his special diapers.
[muffled screaming]
We're about to play the best trick ever
on my horrible doorman.
Who may be the most disgusting dude
in all of doormanity.
[quacking]
[giggling]
That was my impression of a duck.
Ooh, here it goes again.
[quacking]
Yes. Quack, quack.
[quacking]
[music playing]
[shrieking]
Get out! Get out!
[shrieking]
No! Oh, God! Get out! Go!
[shrieking]
Go! Go!
[shrieking]
Get out!
[screaming]
[shrieking]
Hey, friends. Who missed me?
You left the mic on with the volume up.
Your chicken blew our eardrums out.
Sorry. I was upstairs microwaving this food pocket.
You know, my dad wrote their jiggle.
[groaning]
Wow. Ow. I just burned the snot out of my mouth.
I forgot. You're supposed to let a food pocket sit
for two minutes before you eat it.
Dill pickles, kosher pickles,
sweet pick- Ah! Bread and butter pickles. Last jar.
Oh! [shattering]
Oh, no!
I'm sorry.
Sorry? You're sorry? That was the last dang jar
of bread and butter pickles in this store!
Where's your stupid mother? Where is she?
Were you gonna buy this lollipop?
Well, now it's broken.
[crying]
Not so fun, is it?
[crying]
Already over a million views.
And you should read the comments.
Everyone's hating Neville.
Oh, man. This is bad for him.
Well, I'm crying on the inside!
Its going to ruin his life.
They don't have any dang bread and butter pickles!
[crying]
[cheering]
You don't like me spending so much time with Sam?
- No. - So maybe I should spend
a little less time with Sam...
and a little more time with someone else.
What are you doing?
- Kiss me. - What?
Sam doesn't have to know.
Ow. Did you just thump me?
How dare you try to kiss me when you're dating Sam.
You're icky.
And I'm telling Sam.
[chuckles] Whoa. You don't want to do that.
Oh, and why not?
Cause think about how happy I make Sam.
What kind of friend would you be if you ruined
her first great relationship by ratting me out?
Carly, I got the-
Hey, cupcake. What are you doing here?
Carly asked me to come over.
Yeah.
Happy 100 day anniversary.
[giggling]
Are you ready for this?
[male voice] Are you ready for this?
[trumpeting]
[laughing]
Hi, Steven.
He thought he was gonna get a kiss
from a pretty girl but instead
I blew a trumpet in his face. Ha.
[trumpeting]
Punk!
Wait. What is this?
This is...
iCarly!
[cheering]
iCarly. Yeah.
And that is my ex-boyfriend, Steven.
- Ex? - He's also her ex-boyfriend.
Ex?
Carly was my best friend first, and I'm taking her back.
I knew it.
Carly's too nice and good to see the evil in people,
but luckily, I'm not so nice and good.
And I hope you know your blood type
cause I think you're going to need some
when I'm done with you.
I know you can beat me up, Sam. But you won't.
What makes you think I won't-
If you do anything bad to me,
Carly's gonna think you started it.
I mean, look at what's happened this week.
You were right about everything you accused me of,
and Carly still didn't believe you.
And anyway,
you really think Carly's gonna like you
after you beat up her best friend?
I'm her best friend.
Yeah, try "were".
Yay, smoothies for three.
Mr. Howard just gave me detention.
- For what? - For being too Gibby.
How can you be too Gibby?
That's what I said.
But you know, not everybody gets me.
Oh, I get you, Gibby. I get you like a rash.
Question is, how do I get rid of you?
Baby powder?
That's double detention.
But baby powder gets rid of rashes.
Triple detention.
Volcano!
[vomiting]
Where'd you get him?
You know the lady downstairs in 4G?
The one whose gums are always bleeding?
- Yeah. - Hey. Did we just stop shooting
Wade Collins music video because of a stupid animal?
He's not stupid.
He's adorable. Look at him.
No, I hate puppies.
I swear, you're all just a bunch of hob-knockers.
Hob-knockers?
I'm going down to get some yoh-gurt.
Yoh-hurt?
Um, we're in the middle of shooting your music video.
No, you're all busy worshiping a filthy little beast.
Why are all Americans such idiots?