- [Host] Welcome back to The F Word,
a series about adopting a kid from foster care.
- I don't know what to do about
this awkward in-betweener stage we're in.
We finished our paperwork,
we turned it in to the social worker,
we have been signed off on.
We're, I think, technically licensed
foster parents right now.
- Stamped.
- Yeah, we've been stamped on our foreheads,
and now we just sit on our hands and wait
for God knows how long.
- Those months were horrible for me.
They were horrible. I...
That was the year I canceled the holidays.
Tariku, this is Nicole and Kristen.
- Hi Tariku!
- Special delivery!
Nicole and Kristen are adopting a baby right now.
Do you have any advice for them?
- We would love to hear your advice.
- Jovi do you have any advice?
Cute. - [Jillian] Do you think
that they should adopt a baby?
- Uh,
maybe!
- So, we saw his picture.
He is just like a dumpling.
He lived in a home that was kind of like a group home.
He'd seen kids come and go and just no one came for him.
- We met Kenyon on a Friday,
and just immediately fell in love.
You know, I'm biracial, and having grown up in
African-American communities, we thought
he would be a great match for us.
He was like the cutest little baby in the whole world.
- Not that we're biased or anything.
- [Nicole] Is that totally embarrassing
when they say that about you, or are you cool with it?
- It's fine, cool.
- What surprised you about the process
that you just weren't expecting?
- Well certainly it moved more quickly than we expected.
That was surprising.
There were a lot of surprising things that happened once.
- Did you just say he's getting old?
- [William] He did say he's getting old.
He's noticing the spots on his hands,
the age spots. - Yeah, can we get
a close-up on that please?
I mean, the thing about adopting through foster care
is there's a lot of it that's out of your control
'cause you don't know when the kid's gonna come along,
when you're gonna be offered a child,
and then this would be the kid
that you have for the rest of your life.
So you have to take a huge leap of faith.
- Were there other things that kind of,
other fantasies or myths that were kind of
exploded for you?
- Yeah. - I was prepared for anything.
- We were hunkered down. - I was like
there's gonna be fires lit.
There's gonna be feces thrown.
There's gonna be pentagrams or gonna be like
all kinds of. - Like all the
scary things they tell you.
We felt like, how do we know
we're not about to ruin our lives?
And so we were driving, we pulled the car over,
and we just held hands and we prayed.
And when we were done, Scott was like,
well, you gotta believe in someone sometime.
So I'm gonna believe in this kid.
- So since you've turned into such an amazing human being,
we're also kind of hoping that
maybe you have some advice for us.
Like as a couple of people who want to adopt.
- Are you adopting boys or girls?
- We don't know.
We sorta secretly have a preference for boys,
but we're telling the social worker
that it doesn't matter.
- Okay, well, if they want a video game system,
wait until they're 10.
- It's not anything live, right?
- [Nicole] Is this like a Harry Potter kind of sword?
Are your feet too big for these boots?
- [Kirsten] What were some of the things
that people said to you all once
you said you were gonna adopt?
- We just got some me time,
and we just had so many stories like,
oh, my sister's best friend was fostering,
and then they came in the middle of the night
and took the child.
- Just horrible, people tell you.
- Oh, my friend was fostering a baby
and burned their house down and blah, blah, blah.
- They may be otherwise very
well-intentioned, intelligent people,
but when you talk about fost-adopting
or fostering,
people tell you these gruesome stories,
which is why I write about it.
I was adopted and there's never any question.
Is this a valid way to create a family?
Is this a real family?
Tariku used to feel bad for Scott
because he's not adopted.
Like I was adopted, he was adopted,
the doggies were adopted.
Everyone here is adopted except Scott.
- There's a really cute kid crossing the street right now.
- Cute kid alert.
- Over on the corner.
- Oh, it's too far.
Come closer. - They're gonna come closer.
- [Nicole] Come closer cute child.
- [Kirsten] Come closer, we have a cute dog for you to pet!
- What about during the waiting period?
Like we may be waiting another six months
or another 16 months, we don't know.
Is there anything you recommend we do or just think about?
- So the waiting period's important,
and there will be ups and downs during the waiting period
as you get your hopes up about a child
and then it doesn't work out.
And I think it's really important for you guys
to be really kind to one another,
because I think that it can be painful.
- Well I really actually wanted to go on a trip.
I had this kind of trip planned for the two of us.
And William was really eager to move forward
as fast as possible with adoption,
and sure enough, boom, and so the trip never happened.
So what I say is go on that trip.
- It's like how did we get two kids?
You know what I mean, that fit so well in this family?
Tariku was so rhythmic and like loved music
and loved dancing and just fits in perfect with us.
And then when I first met Jovi, I was like,
it's just in the stars that these are our kids.