- Do people switch up wines throughout a meal?
- Yes. - They do that?
- I mean, if you're having different courses.
- No, let's say it's not pizza.
Let's say you're not sad and alone,
having pizza and wine at home.
Let's say you're at a restaurant.
- That's every Friday night for me, but OK.
- Me too, sad on Fridays.
Sad on Fridays.
Welcome to Wine and Cheeseburger, I'm Harley Morenstein
and this is a show where I,
a ginormous person who knows nothing about wine,
teams up with a regular-sized person
who knows everything about wine.
And we're gonna teach you silly geese
how to class up your takeout
by pairing it with the best red wine, white wine
or the other wine, what's the other wine?
How many wines are there?
Is Lara on set yet?
Lara!
I'm (beep) up right now.
Today on the menu is pizza, but not just any pizza,
Meat Lover's Pizza from Domino's.
You ever got pizza from Domino's?
Cause your fancy pizza can suck it!
Sauce, cheese, dough and layers upon layers of sweaty,
spicy, porky meat.
I'm talking sausage, pepperoni and ham.
The Holy Trinity of piggy.
Meat Lover's Pizza is arguably the best food there is
and don't at me!
If I see a single sub tweet at me, I will come for you!
Cause you don't come at a man
who loves their Meat Lover's Pizza!
Cause I'm gonna rate Meat Lover's Pizza
at the top of my list!
I'm ready to die for this, baby!
- Pizza's here. - Yeah, it is.
Yeah, baby.
- Can you get me a piece? - Of course.
- No.
No, no.
- Don't be silly.
Take a look at it.
See the grease pooling?
- How many different types of meat are on this pizza?
- Three.
- I see ground? - Yup.
- Beef? - Yup.
- Pepperoni? - Yup.
- Ham? - Yeah.
- Cheese?
- Yup.
I like to assume that maybe someone made a little mistake
and there might be a secret fourth meet in there
on one of the slices.
- A little lottery, pizza lottery.
Is it good?
- Of course it's good, it's Domino's, it's like--
- OK, I'm taking a bite. - The best pizza.
- I'm going. - Go get it, girl.
You like that, eh?
- Pretty good.
It's competing meat flavors though.
- Not competing, same team, working together.
And the toppings under the cheese?
- I just noticed that, that's pretty clever.
You bite through the cheese
and there's a little meat surprise underneath it.
- That was my nickname in high school.
Little meat surprise.
When you're trying to taste the flavors
inside the slices of pizza or anything,
when you're trying to taste flavors,
do you close your eyes ever?
Does that help you visualize the taste more?
- Well, let's see.
Mm.
- Let me tell you something so crazy.
Close your eyes? And Domino's pizza sucks.
- It's not as good with-- - How bad is that?
Is that wild?
I can't believe it.
- Yeah, let's keep our eyes open
when we're tasting it with wine.
- Yeah, this just got bumped down
from my third favorite pizza place to maybe ninth.
- That was weird.
You know what the great thing about pizza is?
To me, pizza and wine are just a perfect marriage.
Do you drink wine with your pizza normally?
- No.
- Today, we are.
- That's a good thing, man.
I'm looking forward to that, baby.
- Pizza, three wines, I'm gonna go get them.
- OK, I'm excited.
- All right.
Be right back.
- Harley's Hacks.
Now that she's gone,
it's time for another one of Harley's Hacks, baby.
A part of the episode where I teach you guys something new.
Are you ever drinking wine and you're like, oh!
I'm an idiot!
Don't even worry about it
cause I'm gonna teach you my non patented
Wine Removal Maneuver.
Hydrogen peroxide, hello!
Dish soap, oh, thank you.
I'm gonna take these two bad boys right now,
we'll give it a little stir.
Now take your favorite cloth, or one you hate,
I don't give a shit.
Put it in there.
Now just dab it out.
And look at that.
Brand new.
So you can try this tactic at home
or maybe try not being such a disgusting slob!
Harley Hack.
- Call 1-800-HARLEY-WINE-OOPS.
- You OK?
- Yeah, you?
- You're always so out of breath.
- It's a condition.
- Wine number one.
Chianti.
To me, pizza and wine, an absolute staple together.
And I have a saying, what grows together goes together.
So you wanna pick wine from the region
that you are eating food from,
like a French wine with French food.
Classic pairing.
- Love it.
- In this case, Italian wine
with Domino's.
- That is the most wine wine I've had.
Isn't that wine just so wine?
- It has a lot of flavors of red and black plum,
licorice even, can you taste that?
Now take a bite of your Meat Lover's Pizza
to balance it out.
- Don't threaten me with a good time.
- Do you see how the high acid in the wine
is being combated with how much salt is in that pizza
to make it all balance really, really nicely together?
- Domino's is good again. - See?
- Domino's is good again.
Did you say black licorice?
The fennel or whatever it is in the sausage
is coming out now and it wasn't there before.
- All those spices that they probably put
into the tomato sauce--
Ooh, I can taste a lot of tomato vine in that.
Can you taste the tomato vine?
- Let me see.
I'll close my eyes before I sip it.
- Delicious, right?
- I'm in Italy right now.
I'm running through the streets of Italy.
- No, you're just--
- Police, they're coming after me,
I'm not wearing any pants.
Can't catch me.
They won't catch me though. - Harley, open your eyes.
- Never let them touch me.
- We're here still.
- What a trip. - Right?
What do you think of Chianti and Meat Lovers?
I think it's perfect.
- Chianti, right?
Like the film, you know the film?
Fa-fa-fa-fa, fa-fa-fa-fa, fa-fa-fa
Picture this, this is someone else's face.
This is someone else's face.
On my face.
- OK.
Wine number two. - OK.
- We need to cleanse our palette, especially after that.
- We need to cleanse our face.
- We need to cleanse a lot.
Today, we're gonna try parsley, you ready?
- No. - Take a little parsley.
And just chew it.
- If you believe in yourself and you believe in your palate
then you can cleanse your palate with garlic sauce.
I feel weird.
My back's itchy now.
- Wine number two.
Orange wine is a white wine made like a red wine,
which means they ferment it
with the skins on the grapes still.
I think that this, nice and cold with a pizza,
could be very similar to having a pizza and a beer.
What do you think?
- Is there any oranges made in this?
- No.
There's no oranges? - No.
They just call it orange wine. - Why?
- Because it's orange.
- How is it orange? - The color.
- But how did it become orange?
- They made the wine with the skins of the grape
on it still.
- Never seen an orange grape though,
do they do surgery on the grape?
- They did not do surgery on the grape.
- Cause you know they've done that before.
- Cheers.
Orange wine. - Orange wine.
- I think it actually
really enhances the flavor of the ground beef.
All I can taste is ground beef.
- I taste a lot of black licorice.
Like I taste fennel. - Do you?
Oh, the fennel.
That would be coming out, yeah.
- Yeah, I taste a lot of fennel.
- All I can taste is ground beef.
My favorite right now,
as much as I love this orange wine
and I think it is super popular
and interesting to drink right now,
I'm still going with the classic Chianti.
- Ah, Chianti is just so like pick me wine.
I'm kind of inspired to just be like relax Chianti,
let me see what orange wine is all about.
Like orange wine is like I'm not even trying to be so red
and wine, you know.
- He's the new kid on the block, orange wine.
- He is the new kid on the block.
He came here to have a good time.
He got weed.
Selling weed to everyone.
He has got a great deal on weed.
- No, he doesn't. - Wanna get high?
You wanna get high with orange wine?
- Wine number three. - OK.
- Cerasuolo.
It's a very specific rose type of wine
from a very specific region in d'Abruzzo in Italy.
Rose, all day.
- Specific rose on a specific day.
- Cerasuolo for everyone.
- Yeah.
Cerasuo--
Let me get you back after I sip this.
Cerasuolo all day, yo.
Cerasuolo all day-lo.
Yeah!
She smiled at me!
Mm.
- That is a nice wine.
- Cerasu-hello.
- I mean, just in the name, Cerasuolo, it tastes like--
- That's what Cera--
- Tart red cherries to me and strawberries
and all that really delicious red fruit,
even raspberries maybe.
I don't know, take a bite of your pizza.
I think this is lovely.
This wine is bringing out the flavor of the cheese, I find.
And it's kind of neutralizing all the salt
and I think they're really balanced well together.
- See there's a difference between you and I
and I think I know what it is now.
There's a big difference here. - What?
For me, pizza's driving.
He's driving.
The wine is sitting in the front seat, navigating.
For you, the wine is driving and pizza's in the trunk,
you don't even give a fuck.
You're just going to the next class.
That's the difference between us, you know what I mean?
For you, pizza can come along on your wine journey.
- I think that would be a very fair assessment.
But at least we are on this wine and food journey together,
aren't we? - That's right.
Where we're gonna go next, I don't know.
- OK, do you have a favorite?
I have a favorite. - Oh shit.
Yeah, what's our favorite?
- I think, to me, it's-- - Yeah.
- We'll let's go back, let's go back.
- I also share the same opinion as the wine professional.
- I just don't think you can compete with that.
All the round flavors and the red fruit,
even in the bit of the oak aging.
- Look at my hair.
Look at my hair.
- I think it's the best one.
- OK, first, I wanna thank you
and now you gotta get out of here.
- Later, Harley.
- Gabagool
- Even Meat Lover's need Chianti.