- Hi there, I'm Shayne Topp
and this is the Gosh Darm (beep) News.
- [Damien Voiceover] Today, is charity bad?
- I am challenging the form that is nude photography.
- [Damien Voiceover] What did David Dobrik do now?
- This eye is worth like $10,000.
- [Damien Voiceover] Will these images curse you?
Is the new "Trolls" movie inappropriate for children?
- Oh so much violence.
- [Damien Voiceover] And finally, some uplifting news.
- I say, no thank you!
- [Damien Voiceover] Live from three days ago,
it's Shayne Topp.
- James Charles has a beauty competition show
called "Instant Influencer"
that just began airing on YouTube.
I haven't watched it yet
but I can only assume that
the first two minutes are about makeup
and the final 43 minutes are about starting drama
and selling overpriced products to kids.
Here to comment is a guy who didn't lock the bathroom door.
(Ian screams)
"Sonny with a Chance" had an online reunion
with the original cast
and four other random white people.
"So Random!" people, they were there, okay?
You can pretend that we weren't, but we were there
and we meant something.
It's a party get down man.
(sighs)
It was a good show!
It's a good--
David Dobrik made an incredible charity video
where he drove around handing out
PS4's, laptops, iPads, and so much more to fans in need.
And best of all he used a t-shirt cannon
to fire t-shirts filled with money at them.
It was really great and to talk about it
is one of the fans who David Dobrik helped.
- Yo, thanks for having me.
I was just like looking at flowers
minding my business, I love nature,
when out of nowhere David Dobrik came up
and shot me with a t-shirt cannon.
- Oh my god, it looks like he got you right in the eye.
- Oh yeah, he knocked this (beep) right outta the socket.
- I'm so sorry man, that sounds awful.
- No I actaully got $10,000 out of it too.
He had check in the t-shirt.
This eye is worth like $10,000. (laughs)
- I guess you still have another eye, so that's fine.
- Well I'm glad he didn't hit me in this one
'cause this is my glass eye
and this one's expensive.
- How'd you lose that eye?
- Oh, the t-shirt canon at a Mets game.
- So you are legally blind?
- Legally blind.
- So you're not mad at David at all?
- David I just wanna say man,
if you're seeing this right now I love you,
I don't know what I'm looking at
right now I can't really see,
but I just wanna say I love you
and you are great you've been a big inspiration to me
and everybody else in America,
thanks for the $10,000
and if you wanna give me some more money
and knock me out here and there,
do some things to me, it's fine.
- Thank you so much.
- Thank you, David I love you man.
Peace and blessings.
- MrBeast held a rock, paper, scissors contest for charity
and invited all the best, most popular,
sexiest, trendiest YouTubers.
Which is why we weren't there
because there's really not a positive adjective
you can put in front of us.
Old, tired.
None of those are good,
I'm trying to think of a positive one.
Um, gross?
Inappropriate.
We did also make a video kinda making fun of,
yeah I get it, I get why he wouldn't invite us,
I get it, it's our bad.
Travis Scott held a massive concert in Fortnite
so if you're wondering why your eight year old son
suddenly wants to (beep) Kylie Jenner, that's why.
Ansel Elgort posted a nude on his Instagram for charity,
here to talk about it is our local nude expert,
influencer and YouTuber, Briana Boho.
- Thank you Shayne power top,
so actually this was a very deceitful act
to use a nude photograph for.
It completely cheapens nudes
and the entire art platform
as well as the very sensitive nude market.
I mean, also, nudes are for letting people know
you wanna (beep) them, not devaluing these titties.
- Even though he was doing it for charity,
it was a bad thing?
- Look at me, I mean OnlyFans can only provide so much.
- You're saying nudes are just to let someone know
you wanna (beep) them but you have an OnlyFans?
- Mm hm but that's different.
See my OnlyFans subscribers are supporting me
because they believe in me
and then I reward them with nude photos
as well as videos of me eating popsicles of my ass.
- Of your ass?
- Of my ass with my ass.
See there's a popsicle that's made from a mold of my ass
that I then eat with my ass.
Because like when you have a mold of your ass
you wanna get like the most use out of it
that you can, you know?
- Sure--
- Yeah, you're welcome Shayne power top.
Also, ass popsicles are a wonderful summer treat
and they're on sale right now on my OnlyFans.
I think you're a subscriber aren't you, Shayne?
- No, I'm not.
- Your username is "short king long stinger"?
- No, that is not me at all.
- Are you sure?
(beep)
- Now we go over to our travel corespondent,
Olivia Sui, with our city of the day.
(upbeat music)
♪ What's the city? ♪
♪ It's a city. ♪
♪ City of the day. ♪
♪ Where's the city? ♪
♪ Who's the city? ♪
♪ City of the day. ♪
♪ Are you a city? ♪
♪ I'm not a city. ♪
♪ City of the day. ♪
- Macomb, Illinois.
♪ City of the day. ♪
- If you'd like to submit your city
to be our city of the day, don't.
We're not gonna read our emails.
We're not gonna listen to anyone.
We will pick whatever city we want.
It might be the same city next week, we don't care.
It may not even be a city.
Might be a mineral
or a type of animal.
We don't care.
We really don't care.
(air whooshing)
Now it's time to go over to our entertainment corespondent,
Damien, with "What's Streaming".
Damien.
- Hi Shayne, yes let's talk about what's streaming.
Can't wait. - Yeah.
Yeah you watched "Trolls World Tour"
this past week right? - "Trolls World Tour" is what
I watched, I sure did.
- At least you're supposed to watch it,
you did watch it right?
- Shayne, I watched the movie.
- Can you tell us about it?
- Yes!
"Trolls World Tour" 2020, musical animation.
We got Poppy and Branch discover
that there are six different troll tribes.
- Did you just Google it?
- No, no I didn't do that.
I know, this is all from the old noggin.
That's it, they discover there's six different troll tribes.
- That's it?
That's the whole movie?
- Well it's not the whole movie.
It starts in the Shire.
- That's not the plot of "Lord of the Rings"?
- (laughs) Shayne, it's very much not.
- If you didn't watch the movie it's fine.
I mean just-- - I watched the movie.
- All right fine if you watched the movie then great,
so clearly the six different troll tribes
represent six different genres of music,
can you tell us about those genres?
- No no no, the genres of music,
that's the metaphor Shayne.
It's the six different aspects of the human ego.
You've got wrath, sloth, gluttony,
classical music, techno music, and then rock.
But you're not even thinking about
how deep this movie goes man.
You're supposed to be rooting for these characters
but there's so much violence.
There's so much cussing. - There's violence?
- Oh so much violence.
- Oh my god.
- Yeah.
- 'Cause this movie's rated PG right?
- Don't know how they got away with that.
- So parents should not take their children to go see this?
- No, no, it's like they curse so much,
you know how Smurfs say Smurf all the time,
it's like that but with (beep).
And so they're always just saying (beep)
so there's this like, there's this bit
where like a goblin is surrendering and they're like,
"We're sorry, we should find a middle ground."
And they just grab him by the back of the head
and go (gobbles) and just drown him in a puddle.
And as he's like kicking and just twitching
they just keep whispering, "(beep), (beep),"
into the back of his head.
It's real dark.
- Damien you definitely didn't watch this movie did you?
- I didn't watch the film Shayne.
- All right, that has been Damien with "What's Streaming."
(air whooshing)
And now it's time for my least favorite segment,
"Cursed Images" with Courtney.
Courtney.
- Hey what's up guys, I'm Courtney.
I'm pretty sure I've seen every cursed image.
I love cursed images.
Shayne are you ready?
- Uh, no but go ahead.
- There you go bud.
- Ugh, so okay there's a lot going on.
- Yeah I like this one because there's a story.
- Yeah so it's clearly one of their birthdays,
I'm guessing it's red. - Is it?
- I'm guessing it's red Teletubby's birthday.
- See to me, I for some reason get wedding vibes.
- Oh, cause they're,
yeah they're definitely kissing.
- It's like what is the emotion that is,
this cursed image is bringing outta you?
Because for me--
- I just feel gross.
I feel really gross. - What?
Tag yourself, I'm definitely the angel in the back
just loving everything or I'm the cake.
- I'm the guy on the purple Teletubby's shoulder.
- (laughs) Just not wanting to be there.
- Just peaking through.
- Monica earlier was trying to read the cake,
which is down near impossible.
- Yeah I don't wanna read what's written on that.
I'm sure it's some sort of curse
that if you read it a ghost will follow you home
and kill you in your sleep.
- I think the thing that's shines
most brightly in this photo is the open mouth kiss
that's about to ensue.
- I think it's ensuing, I think it's full on ensuing.
- I think it's like,
this is just like a beautiful moment
where they're about to suck face.
Like it hasn't happened yet.
- Clearly the yellow Teletubby already did that
because someone licked off most of his makeup.
- But you know, that's the beauty of a cursed image bud.
It's just chaos. - Yeah.
- Blessed chaos just like (blows kiss).
Anyway, thank you so much for this time.
I really hope you enjoyed my cursed images of the week.
I will have gold for you every week, I promise.
Thank you for giving me this segment Shayne,
I won't let you down.
- Well, thanks Courtney.
(air whooshing)
And finally, we go over to our own Ian Hecox,
who's gonna give us some good news and some bad news,
in a segment we call "Good News, Bad News".
- Thanks James.
In Arkansas, there is a steak house,
it's family owned restaurant, steak house,
and somebody donated their entire $1200 stimulus check
as a tip to the workers there.
- Oh that sounds like great news!
- No.
This is a steak house.
A steak house!
It is a house made of steaks, okay.
How disgusting is that?
And this person wants to keep a business like that open?
I say no thank you!
Okay?
- I think you may be misunderstanding steak houses.
I don't think they're--
- How am I misunderstanding steak house?
- There's no houses that are built out of steaks.
- I don't even know if they grill the steaks
before they make the house out of it.
- I think now we're ready for some good news.
- All right so,
in Germany there's a place in Northern Germany,
it's a zoo and what has happened is
that they're running out of money
because nobody can go to the zoo now
for reasons that are obvious.
And they're saying that they might have to resort
to feeding the animals in the zoo
to the other animals in order to keep them alive.
- What?
Dude that's awful.
- Here's a money making proposition for that zoo.
Animals shouldn't be in cages, right?
- Right.
- Unless you put animals in a cage with another animal.
You following me here?
What about pygmy marmoset v king cobra?
Who would win?
But you don't know.
So rather than just straight up being like
here you go polar bear here's a kangaroo,
let 'em fight it out.
And then the winner gets to eat the loser.
- How would a kangaroo beat a polar bear?
- Kangaroo verse monkey.
Fish verse dolphin.
Human verse ant.
I wanna see every match-up.
I will pay for that
and that'll keep the zoo running for years
until they run out of animals.
- Okay so to recap,
you're saying bad news
that someone was tipped a lot of money
because they work in a house made of steak
and it's good news that zoos
are turning into animal gladiator arenas?
- Yeah, what are you not getting here?
- Well, that was the "Gosh Darn (beep) News."
I'm Shayne Topp.
Go to bed.
Go to--
- [Damien Voiceover] This has been the
"Gosh Darn (beep) News."
David Dobrik fans please be nice to us
in the comments section.
- Thanks for watching.
If you wanna watch more stupid, dumb stuff,
we've got more videos.
We also have clothing that we sell at smosh.store
and if you wear it, I promise people will like you more.
They'll just sense something different about you.
And if you haven't subscribed, please do
because we just keep the dumb stuff pumping out.
We never stop.
We're just like, it's just crazy.
We're geniuses.
We're idiot geniuses.