Stupid door!
- Come on! - Open it!
Get out!
We're trying!
Ah, the doorknob came off!
Why'd you pull off the doorknob?
'Cause I wanted it for my knob collection!
Because I just don't see what's funny about Fred.
Well, it's not my fault he quit.
Hey, you don't have to call me names.
Oh, yeah? Well you're a bigger one!
- Who was that? - My Aunt Jennifer.
Wow, this is amazing.
Someone finally friended you?
Control, Freddie. Bad thoughts lead to bad actions.
- Robbie's in love with me. - So? Freddie's in love with me.
Now wait a second.
If you're still in love with Sam,
then why have you been running around Los Angeles fadoodling with Cat?
I haven't fadoodled with Cat.
You could have if you wanted to.
- Huh? - How dare you!
You deserve this.
You probably do a lot of sit-ups.
- Hey. - Hi.
I gotta tell you something.
You're gonna tell me that there was no bad luck?
That Sam did all that stuff to me?
- How'd you know? - Well...
I didn't know when it was my pink shorts and my laptop,
but I saw her loosening the bolts on my bike.
But I thought your bike fell apart while you were riding it?
No, I just pretended on that one.
So you're not gonna try to get her back?
You mean, do something devious like send her a fake text message
that looks like it came from Gary Wolf,
telling her to meet him at the Crown Ridge Mall?
[laughing]
I didn't know you could be so bad.
You're gonna get us disqualified!
You're not supposed to have earth food in here.
Give me some of that meat!
No! You, no!
Give me the meat!
[yelling]
- Give me the meat! - No!
[screaming]
Mm. What do they put in this lasagna to make it so incredible?
Oh!
Uh, look, I don't want to start an argument,
but you might want to finishing chewing, you know, before you talk.
What is this? Pick on Puckett night?
I said I don't want to start an argument,
Well, ya done it!
Carly, is it wrong to tell a person that it's not polite to talk
with their mouth full of lasagna?
Is it wrong for a person to constantly pick on every little thing I do?
Yes... and yes.
Are you gonna fire that dumb intern?
You mean Court?
You know who I mean. That... that feminidiot.
I'll fire my feminidiot when you fire your himbecil!
OK, that was clever word play.
- Hey, Freddie. - Oh, hey, uh...
- Patrice? - Uh-huh.
Um, I watched you on iCarly the other night.
You know, in Moonlight Twiblood?
Oh, yeah? So did you...
Did you like what you saw?
- A lot. - I get it.
- Well, you should call me. - We'll see.
- I gave Sam a promotion. - Wha...
- Sam's my boss now? - Yep.
Back to work, Fred Bag.
No, this is wrong.
I am a computer expert. I know so much!
We sort of dated for a while.
She, she is lazy and a criminal,
and a nuisance and she has terrible table manners.
He's still in love with me. It's kind of sad.
And if you think she is a good employee who deserves to be my boss,
than you, my friend, are a terrible manager
and you don't deserve to have me work here!
- I have an itch. - That is not my responsibility!
Hey Freddie, guess what they're serving in the cafeteria tomorrow.
Oh, is it asparagus? 'Cause that'd be so hilarious!
No, it's fish sticks.
What's your problem?
[music playing]
- And we'll be... - Forever-- stop, stop!
- What's up? - You were singing the wrong lyrics again.
You were gonna humiliate us in front of everyone!
It's not my fault Sam booked us a gig.
It's your fault we're in a fake band.
[laughing]
Filthy Puckett...
- I'm working! - Oh!
OK, come on!
Dude!
What happened?
Our genius intern just murdered my laptop!
- Are we still web casting? - No! We died!
- I'll clean it up! - You can't! Get!
Now can we fire that artichoke?