BEFORE WE GET STARTED I WANT TO TRY SOMETHING DIFFERENT,
SOMETHING SPECIAL.
EVERY NIGHT BEFORE THE SHOW TAPES-- THESE GUYS KNOW THIS--
AND I DIDN'T DO IT TONIGHT, I COME OUT HERE BEFORE THE SHOW TO
ANSWER QUESTIONS FROM THE STUDIO AUDIENCE TO HUMANIZE ME.
IT'S IMPORTANT TO MAINTAIN THE ILLUSION THEY AM A HUMAN.
AY, NOP NO ONE AT HOME EVER GETS TO SEE THAT.
SO LET'S GIVE IT A SHOT RIGHT NOW.
JIMMY, LET'S BUMP UP THE LIGHTS.
THIS IS NICE.
HEY!
THAT'S NICE.
DOES ANYBODY-- DOES ANYBODY.
LET'S START OVER HERE.
OVER IN THE CORNER, THAT MAN RIGHT OVER THERE WITH THE
GOATEE, IS IT?
>> FULL BEARD.
>> Stephen: FULL BEARD.
I APOLOGIZE.
I DIDN'T REALIZE HOW MAPLY YOU WERE.
YOUR QUESTION, SIR.
MY BIGGEST WHAT?
MY BIGGEST TRANSITION TO "THE LATE SHOW.
THE THE OLD SHOW WE DID WAS AT 11:30.
THIS ONE IS AT 11:35.
SO, SO, NOW, NOW WE HAVE TIME TO WRITE SOME JOKES.
( LAUGHTER ) YES, THE REDHEAD IN THE THIRD
ROW RIGHT THERE.
>> YES, I'D LIKE TO KNOW WHY YOU'RE DOING THIS BIT.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: CAROL BURNETT?
CAROL!
WOW!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) HOLY COW!
INCREDIBLE!
THAT'S AMAZING.
THANK YOU.
WELL, CAROL, WELL, CAROL, THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.
WHAT'S YOUR QUESTION, CAROL IN.
>> IT'S JUST WHAT I WANTED TO KNOW WHERE YOU GET OFF DOING
THIS BIT BECAUSE IT'S MY BIT.
( LAUGHTER ).
>> Stephen: I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
>> STEPHEN, FOR 11 YEARS, YOU KNOW, I USED TO COME OUT AND I'D
TAKE QUESTIONS.
I WOULD TAKE QUESTIONS WITH THE AUDIENCE.
AND SO, REALLY, YOU KNOW, IT'S MINE.
I OWN THIS.
LAUGH PLAWF ( APPLAUSE ).
>> Stephen: CAROL, YOU CAN'T-- I'M SORRY, LISTEN.
I'M A BIG FAN.
I'M A HUGE FAN.
I NEVER MISSED YOUR SHOW, BUT, CAROL, YOU DON'T OWN THE IDEA OF
ANSWERING QUESTIONS.
>> WELL, THAT'S TRUE TECHNICALLY, BUT I HAVE A PATENT
ON IT.
AND I QUOTE, "FOR RESPONDING TO THE AUDIENCE INQUIRIES ON A
TELEVISED COMEDY-VARIETY BROADCAST."
>> Stephen: ANOTHER FINE.
YOU OWN QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS.
THEN GET UP HERE AND SHOW ME HOW IT'S DONE.
CAROL BURNETT, EVERYBODY.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) CAROL BURNETT!
CAROL.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE.
WHAT A PLEASURE.
CAROL BURNETT, EVERYBODY.
WE HAVE TIME, I THINK.
ARE THERE ANY-- >> DOES ANYBODY --
>> PLEASE, HAVE A SEAT, EVERYBODY.
>> LET ME DO IT!
>> DISPL ANOTHER SORRY.
>> ANYBODY HAVE ANY QUESTIONS?
YES, THAT GENTLEMAN THERE, YEAH.
>> THERE'S A RUMOR GOING ON IN OUR BUILDING.
WE LIVE AT 200 WEST 54th, THAT YOU USED TO LIVE IN THAT
BUILDING.
DID YOU?
>> I DID LIVE.
THAT'S ABOVE THE STAGE DELL KETES AN.
>> WHICH DOESN'T EXIST ANYMORE.
>> THEY THOUGHT I WAS A GOOD COOK BECAUSE I WOULD OPEN THE
WINDOW AND SMELL EVERYTHING FROM THE SAME.
>> WHAT FLOOR WERE YOU ON?
>> I WAS ON THE FOURTH FLOOR.
>> DO YOU REMEMBER-- W WE ARE ON THE FOURTH FLOOR.
>> MAYBE YOU'RE IN MY OLD APARTMENT.
>> Stephen: HE'S BEGINNING TO SOUND LIKE A STALKER.
>> YES, DOWN THERE?
>> YOU WERE BOTH AMAZING ON HOWARD STERN RECENTLY.
>> THANK YOU.
>> AND I WAS CURIOUS-- STEPHEN, I KNOW-- BUT WHAT WAS YOUR
EXPECTATION AND THEM WHAT DID YOU THINK OF BEING ON THE SHOW?
>> AT FIRST I WAS NERVOUS ABOUT BOTH ON WITH HOWARD STERN, AND
THEN AFTER THE FIRST COUPLE OF QUESTIONS, HE WAS NERVOUS WITH
ME.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: ALL RIGHT.
LET'S-- YES, THAT YOUNG LADY RIGHT THERE.
YEAH.
>> COULD DO YOU YOUR TARZAN YELL?
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: I'D BE HAPPY TO.
>> EXCUSE ME, BUT THAT'S MY TARZAN YELL.
>> Stephen: YOUR TARZAN YELL?
>> YES, UH-HUH.
>> Stephen: I BET THAT'S NEWS TO TARZAN.
( LAUGHTER ).
>> ARE YOU READY?
( EMITS TARZAN YELL ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: WELL, I-- I GUESS-- I GUESS IT IS YOURS,
CAROL.
I APOLOGIZE.
>> THAT'S OKAY.
>> Stephen: OKAY, YOU READY TO DO THE SHOW?
>> SURE.
>> Stephen: YOU GUYS READY TO DO THE SHOW?
>> YEAH!
>> Stephen: YOU ALL READY TO DO SHOW?
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) GREAT.
ME, TOO.
>> HEY!