[Music]
hey Beautiful YouTube family I bow to
the love that is absolutely in you
that's right there's a light that's
inside of you and it's not your fault if
you grew up feeling dissociated or
disconnected from your light so um let's
talk a little bit just so we can
understand where we're moving with this
video let's talk about what happened to
so many of us who grew up in
Dysfunctional homes um if you grew up in
a home where you were not allowed to
talk about your feelings it is
absolutely impossible for you to feel I
think it's impossible to feel connected
to the self because you we associate
psychologically the self with our
emotions and so if as a child you were
taught that emotions were unnecessary or
they were irrelevant if you were shamed
when you cried if you were called
Selfish when you wanted something if
when you gave your opinion and you were
criticized and mocked and
humiliated if when you try to explain
yourself you got the sense that what you
had to say was
unimportant if you grew up if you're a
young man and you grew up and your
father never played ball with you you
know if he never spent time with you if
he never you know ped around with you if
he didn't rough house with you if he
didn't play if he didn't take you out
you know to watch a football game once
in a while if he didn't do the kinds of
things that you needed him to do as a
young man then that is going to affect
how you see yourself because if Daddy
can't spend time with me that must mean
that there's something wrong with me
this is the way children interpret their
lack from their parents it's not our
fault but the way our parents treat us
sends us a message so it's called
nonverbal communication and we're
constantly picking up on our parents
non-verbal communication if you're a
female I'm a female obviously at least I
think so I think it's obvious anyway I
digress if you're a young woman and you
had um you grew up with a mom who
distanced herself from you you know I
have I had no relationship with my mom
growing up I mean she was there in the
house cooking and cleaning and she
walked us to school and she did all
laundry but there was no bond between me
and my mom we never did the things that
I thought every other little girl did
with her mom you know I had this idea
that every other little girl but me in
the whole universe was shopping with
their mom you know I had this idea that
every other little girl in the world had
a mom that brushed her hair nicely or
spent time talking to her about growing
up about nail polish about boys about
whatever you know it's it boggles my
mind when I think back to my childhood
and I realize I never had a conversation
with my mom
I never had a heart-to-heart
conversation with my mother and I think
about how how many conversations I have
with my own children
today and I realized how much lack there
was but you see that lack of bonding
sent a message to me it said to me that
I'm not worthy of my mother's attention
and I felt that on a soul level and so
when we grow up in homes when where we
our emotions who who we are
psychologically and emotionally and and
spiritually who we are on the inside
when that when we presume or we feel or
we perceive that what is happening to us
on the inside is unacceptable by others
on the outside we begin to experience
shame and that shame follows us
throughout our life and so when we start
dating we are ashamed of telling this
person what we really think we're so AF
afraid that this person is going to
abandon us we're so afraid that this
person is going to see something in us
that they find unworthy and they are
going to leave us and this all goes back
to what we experienced in childhood and
that dear ones is simply not our fault
so what we have to recognize is that
deep within the subconscious mind is our
childhood programming remember the
subconscious mind is not subjective it
con excuse me it's not objective it
never ever questions what is being
downloaded into it so when you're a
child imagine your mind is like a garden
and mommy and daddy and all the
authorities in your life uncles and your
aunts and school and authorities and
what you see on television all of these
things are like seeds that are getting
planted into this very virgin fertile
amazing soil that with with hardly any
attention whatsoever all these seeds are
going to Blossom and become or bear the
fruits of what's been sewed we are not
responsible for what has been swed while
we're children we're not we are
powerless we are literally hostages to
our families they are responsible for us
we cannot take care of ourselves if we
grew up in chaotic homes we're stuck we
are prisoners and many of us have had to
learn how to live in hostile
environments by living through survival
we learn survival skills and one of the
survival skills so many of us have
learned just to keep ourselves safe is
to dissociate we dissociate from how we
feel because it's not safe to feel we've
got to be hypervigilant and watch what
Mommy and Daddy are doing and in all
those moments where we're watching what
Mommy and Daddy are doing we're being
taken away from the self we're not
attached to the self we're not
experiencing our trauma we're not we're
avoiding a future trauma when we're
being hypervigilant and making sure that
mommy's over there and she's happy and
Daddy's over there and he's not drinking
well whatever it doesn't really matter
the fact is if you grew up in a home
where you didn't feel safe you had to
dissociate from your true self and so
now if you're walking around on planet
Earth confused about who the hell you
are know that that's appropriate for
your situation you're not crazy dear one
you're not crazy it's not you it's your
programming so what I want to do today
is I want to teach you something that I
learned to teach myself that's what I'm
all about I'm all about helping those of
you out there who have suffered long
enough below the veil of Consciousness
who were living out these what I call
Holograms of childhood and did not know
that you didn't have to live that way
and so let's say you've happened upon my
Channel or someone else's Channel there
are wonderful teachers out there on
YouTube wonderful authors out there you
know all over the place wonderful
motivational speakers let's just say for
whatever reason you're on this channel
and bells and whistles are going off
you're starting to wake up like what is
she talking about it's not me as my
programming what does that
mean what I mean is that you have been
taught to believe certain things and as
children we don't challenge the beliefs
that have been downloaded into our mind
so if I believe that I'm not worthy
because my mother spends no time with me
I don't know first of all that that's
not true it might be true that she's not
spending time with me me but it's not
true that I'm not
worthy it might be true that she even
has issues with how she feels about me
but I was her kid I was her child I'm
not responsible for the fact that she
had problems with her mother she might
even see me as unworthy she might even
think that I'm the biggest little
that she could ever have given birth to
and I'm sure there were days that she
thought that but that doesn't mean it's
true so we have these beliefs that sort
of just fester and fester and fester and
fester our whole life and what we do as
adults we run from that fear inside our
own mind we keep running and running and
running and running and running
sometimes we develop eating disorders in
an attempt to run away from that fear
that we're not good enough or we drink
to run away from that fear that we are
we're not good enough or we become love
addicts and through these relationships
after relationships we are running away
from the fear that maybe we're not good
enough we're so afraid to tap into that
feeling of not being good enough because
there's a belief that has us believing
that we really are unworthy and who the
hell wants to believe and feel that
we're unworthy who wants to do that
nobody and so the brain keeps us running
and running and running and running and
running away from that fear and what we
need to do dear ones is to face that
fear and we need to challenge the
beliefs that are sa sabotaging our
ability to be happy today and this is
what I had to learn to do and I think
the reason I'm so damn good at it is
because I had had to figure it out on my
own really I mean I was desperate you
know when I discovered that I was
codependent it was like okay now what
there were so many books out there that
was saying that was pointing me in the
direction yep and yep codependent yep
codependent yep people pleaser yep yep
yep yep but there was no book out there
at the time when I started to wake up
that taught me what to do about being
freaking codependent I wanted to stop
being codependent and I want to teach
you some of the things and today I'm
going to teach you one of the one of the
tools that I use that I think is very
very useful so once you understand that
this is all about programming right what
goes in must come out as it is below so
shall it be above this is what you have
to understand however when you were a
baby you had this Blank Slate of a mind
pretty much although your genes could
have been affected by the trauma of your
family absolutely but for for the
purpose of this video we're going to be
talking about the mind right so imagine
being born now everything that happens
to you on the out on outside of you is
going to affect the brain is going to
affect your programming everything and
this speaks to epigenetics where it's
proven Bruce Lipton has proven Dr Bruce
Lipton is a genius by the way he has
proven that what happens outside of the
cell affects the inside of the cell and
the same thing happens with us as human
beings we are a cell think of yourself
as a cell and think of your home as the
environment that your cell has had to
live in and understand that everything
happened that everything that happened
in your environment affected you
affected the cell that you were and
that's not your fault so now imagine
that everything that happened to you is
basically like a computer program that
has been microchipped into your
mind now if you can if you followed me
that far now you can understand the
purpose of
reprogramming what has been downloaded
so I know that's I'm very wordy I tend
to be very wordy and I'm sorry but I'm
getting to the point just stick with me
dear one stick with me I'm going to
teach you one of the ways in which you
can reprogram your mind and so what you
have to do is if you wanted to reprogram
a computer right let's say there was
something wrong with your computer there
something wrong with one of the programs
you would first have to figure out what
was wrong what was wrong you'd first
have to identify the program that was
running that was faulty so all all these
thoughts that are going through your
head that exist on a loop you have to
begin catching them so imagine you have
a butterfly net and from this day
forward you're going to start catching
those thoughts in your head catching
them don't let them just race through
your head like thoughts tend to race
catch them so imagine that you have the
ability to catch a thought in this
butterfly net and then what I want you
to do is I want you to get your
notebook I write all the time so get a
notebook and then what you're going to
do is you're going to take take the
thoughts that are in this butterfly net
and you're going to start writing them
out you need to know what these thoughts
are you need to know what has been
downloaded into your mind so let's say
you don't you fear that you're never
going to find true love so we don't
realize like how many times a day that
thought might be R Racing I'm never
going to find any never going to find
anybody never GNA I'm too old um I'm too
fat you know I'm too gray what whatever
what whatever so you have to start
catching those dysfunctional
self-sabotaging negative Loops of
thought you have to catch them before
you can reprogram it so let's for
argument sake let's say that's the
thought that's going through your head
I'm never going to find true love so sh
catch it now you caught it now what you
do is you take your notebook and you
write out on your in your notebook in
your Journal I am never going to find
true love now dear ones that's not true
now this is the thing as a man thinks so
is he
now you could walk around for the rest
of your life with the idea that you're
never going to find true love and guess
what you will never find true love but
here's the thing not because you
couldn't but because you didn't believe
you could as a man thinks so is he your
beliefs are you creating your reality as
you go and you can check out the work of
another fabulous doctor named Dr Robert
Lanza l n Za he is proving that we are
creating our reality as we go what you
think and the images that you keep in
your eye in your third eye become
projected on the screen that we call the
universe so that means I have to teach
you or you have to teach yourself
whatever it has to happen you have to
learn how to change what's going on in
here so you can change what's going on
out here but guess what you can't change
what's going on in here until you gain
some control over what's going on in
here so that's why I'm trying to teach
you to objectify these scary thoughts so
let's say we'll play with that thought
again I'm never going to find true love
so you take that thought you write it
down I am never going to find true love
and then what you do is you reframe that
thought you look at it you objectify it
you ask yourself is it true that I'll
never find true love
only if you say so is it possible that
you figure this out and begin changing
the images that are in your mind and you
start believing and understanding that
people fall in love when they're 60
people have fall in love when they're 70
my grandmother I believe found the love
of her life at 82 at 82 I really do
believe that my grandfather my dad's dad
passed away and many years later when
she began to live on in an assisted
living place she she found or he found
her this amazing man and at 82 years old
it was the cutest thing in the world to
see my grandmother happy and in love I
mean he was even he didn't even want her
to wear a dress because he was worried
that the other guys in the place were
going to look at her I mean it was
adorable so no dear one you're never too
old to fall in love but
remember as a man thinks so is he so you
have to challenge that thought so one of
the things that you could do is put
thought down on a piece of paper and on
the other side of that paper what you're
going to do is you're going to write a
thought that challenges that belief it's
not true it doesn't have to be true it's
only true if you say it's true then what
you want to do is you want to ask
yourself what do I really want Define
what you want the subconscious mind
needs a new goal the subconscious mind
up until this point in time or up until
you wake up has only been playing with
the tools that are in the shed so the
more tools that we put in your shed the
more ideas more new beliefs that we
program into your mind the better your
life experience is going to be so decide
what you really want do you want to fall
in love do you want to find true
happiness do you want to find someone
who is who is your equal that is equally
yolked to you do you want to find
someone that is fun that is funloving
that is easy to talk to that understands
where you're coming from that has the
ability to have empathy for you who is
the self-loving human being themselves
maybe who eats right maybe who likes to
likes to exercise size maybe who likes
to volunteer and and do charity work
whatever you have a right to Define what
your your desired relationship would and
should look like but if you don't start
putting these new ideas into your mind
your subconscious mind has nothing to
shoot for and then what will happen is
you will be recycling all this old data
and all the stuff from the past will
keep showing up not because it has to
but because you haven't learned to
Captain your ship you haven't learned to
create the thoughts in your head that
you want to experience in your future
life experience so this is called
reframing and this is called
reprogramming at least this is what I
call it you can call it whatever you
like so dear ones we are this is all
about figuring out what the problem is
identifying a belief that's running
around in the head challenging that
belief and then re recreating a new
belief by figuring out what it is you
really really want and that becomes your
new Focus if you do this often enough
every day if you if you really really
focus on catching all those negative
thoughts and all those self-defeating
Thoughts with that with that butterfly
net and you are diligent about writing
out these beliefs and you are diligent
about challenging those beliefs and you
are diligent about figuring out what it
is you really really want I'm telling
you in a in a short amount of time your
life will begin to change you have to to
change the inside before you can
experience the change on the outside
dear ones it is my honor truly my honor
to come into your heart to come into
your minds today and to come into your
lives today I am the creative of the
12we Breakthrough coaching program the
next class launches January 12th the
next class will launch sometime in June
if you're interested you can check me
out at ww. Lisa AR roman.com and I am
also going to be hosting a live brunch
in February in Long Island and a
workshop and I truly hope many of you
will join me there if you'd like to
learn more about that you can reach me
at Lisa aano gmail.com and I will be
happy to supply you with that
information Namaste everybody I bow to
the love and the light that is
absolutely in you bye for
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