♫ Got tuition bills to pay
♫ Swiping daddy's card at the club
♫ Tweeting 'bout life being hard ♫
- So, I met a boy.
(record stops)
- What?
- Where?
- When?
- How?
- Who?
- What's his Instagram?
- What, I met a boy.
Where, at a friends house.
When, yesterday.
How, I looked cute.
Who, his name is Divan.
Instagram, I don't know, we just met.
(sighs) Divan_Williams845, 1.5 million followers,
favorite Instagram filter is Aden.
- Okay, and when are you going out?
- Well he asked if I was free tomorrow.
So I was thinking maybe lunch.
- Wait, lunch, what time?
- 12.
- I don't know how I feel about that.
12 is pretty formal.
What about like at two?
- So lunch at two?
- Yeah, I was thinking more like a 2:30.
Like I can't make you for lunch,
but maybe I could pencil you in before dinner.
- Yeah, yeah like a linner.
- Or a dunch.
- Or a lunner.
- Yeah, like a hey I'm like in between meetings right now,
but let's catch a linner.
- Is lunch too serious though?
Because like what if he ends up being really weird?
Maybe just like a quick coffee is better.
- Or maybe hot chocolate, that's cute.
- That is cute.
Or, oh what about like a tea before dinner?
Like a tinner.
- Or a lunchea.
- Okay, but what do I talk about?
I don't know anything about him.
- I've Googled him.
What would you like to know?
- I'm on his LinkedIn.
- Oh my god stop.
- He used to model.
Girl get it.
- You wanna know how old he is?
- No!
Okay fine.
- 24.
- Okay oh my god girl no.
He could babysit you.
- That's only five years.
- When he was 20, you were 15.
- Yeah, but when she's 45, he'll be 50
and that's like nothing.
- What kind of questions do I ask him?
- Okay, what about what's your shoe size?
- Stop.
- He's six feet tall.
- That's too tall.
- Kay if she's, he's right here.
- He's gonna be right here.
- And she be like.
(talking over each other)
- That's not that bad.
- That's not bad.
- That's like that much space.
- Just wear heels, just wear heels.
- Yeah, or stilts.
- Okay I'm freaking out, but what if he's creepy?
- You're right, what if we establish like a safety word
that she could text us if things get really weird?
And then we'll call you with a fake emergency.
- That's a good idea.
- What about, pineapple?
- No, wait what if she's ordering a fruit salad?
- Why would she ever text us about that?
- What if she wants an opinion?
- She is not a child.
She can handle herself.
Anyways, let's get back to how to behave on this date.
- Pineapple is good.
Oh I'm so nervous.
- Girl don't be.
You know we got your back now matter what happens.
- And if he does anything to break your heart,
we'll to Taylor Swift on him.
- Yup, take guitar lessons.
- And piano lessons.
- Write a song.
- Change hair styles.
- Win an award.
- Change hair styles again.
- Roast him in our acceptance speech.
- Enter the woods.
- Get out of the woods.
- Forget to put the blood in the fridge.
- Now we got bad blood.
- Enter a room with an echo.
Now I'm lying on the cold hard ground.
- Trouble, trouble, trouble.
- Oh, thanks girls.
- Honestly, just be yourself.
- Exactly.
Also I just ordered the stilts and they can
only arrive by 5 PM so.
- So should we just go to a dinner?
- Too early for dinner.
Maybe a dessert after lunch?
Oh like a lessert.
- Or a desunch.
- Everyone is sitting on my hair.
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That is a wrap, and zoop.
(upbeat music)