- Hey guys.
Today, I am here with my friend Christie.
- Hi.
- So me and Christie met in Menaka
when we were there for this press strip,
and you are a travel vlogger, is that right?
- I am a travel vlogger indeed, on the YouTubes.
- Basically, we thought we would combine
our two areas of like, interests.
- Expertise, yeah.
- Yeah, and expertise, travel and sex and relationships,
and make some videos about those things.
So, in this video we're gonna be talking
about travelling and maintaining relationships
or like, having holiday romances
and how to navigate that whole potential shit storm.
- Shit storm is a good, a good word to describe it.
- First of all, do you have any like,
standout moments from your travelling escapades
of like, a romance where you're like,
"That went really well, that was like perfect,"
and one that was like, "Holy shit, that went terribly."
- Okay, I've got a really, really good one.
- That's good.
- Backpacking romance.
It was actually the first time I ever went backpacking.
I was travelling through Lao, and I met this boy.
We got each other on Facebook and stuff like that.
It wasn't flirty at all, but yeah, we were just messaging,
and then we realised we were gonna be at the Full Moon Party
in Thailand at the same time, so we were like,
"Okay, cool, let's meet up there."
The more I messaged him, the more I was like,
"I actually kind of like this guy.
"I think he's actually all right."
So, we got to the Full Moon,
and my friends described me seeing him as leeches.
We just saw each other and it was just like, "Hi."
We had the dreamiest time together.
Like, what you see in films, like,
I felt like that was what I was living.
It got to the point where we had to say goodbye,
and I went off to the next island and he had to go off
to work in windsurfing instructing or something like that.
I think it was a day later or two days later,
I was just like walking down to the restaurant,
and who would truck up but him?
And he was like, "I just had to spend
"a few more days with you so I called off from work,"
and I was like, I'm dying of like, happiness.
I was in such a bubble.
- How did it end, then?
- So the actual goodbye was after that island.
He had to go off to work and then I had to go off travelling,
so we said goodbye, it was sad, but I wasn't heartbroken
'cause I was like, "It's just a backpacker romance,"
but we spoke every single day for about six months,
and like not flirty or anything,
but just, we got along so well, which was so nice,
but then he got a girlfriend and I was like, "Oh, okay."
- But that seems like really healthy.
- Yeah.
- 'Cause there's like,
this self-contained backpacker romance.
You kind of know where you stand with each other,
and then you part ways, 'cause you can have situations
where you have these holiday romances,
and I've definitely been in these, and you part ways,
but one of you wants to like, make it a thing.
- Oh yeah, ugh.
- I'm always the one that's like,
completely fallen in infatuation.
- Oh no.
- And I'm just like, "I just wanna be with him.
"Like, I don't care, I could do long distance.
"Like, it's fine."
Like, every single time without fail,
none of these times it's worked out,
so just FYI to anyone who's just like,
"Oh, I had this holiday romance with somebody
"and I'm like, can we make it work?"
Like, no.
- Absolutely not.
- No.
- It's not gonna happen.
It's not gonna end well.
- 'Cause like, literally, I would spend months
pining over these people, heartbroken.
I'm like, still kind of talking to them,
but then just not like, fully getting what I want.
- You're not getting over it.
I haven't got closure on any kind of situation,
and they're not there so you can't even talk to them
and talk through your things,
and they don't have the same thing on their mind anyway.
- One of them was also a tour guide,
so then he was just like, travelling.
- Of course you hooked up with a tour guide.
The people who are looking after everything
and they seem so appealing
because they're looking after everyone
and they're all tanned and oh yeah, they're the worst.
- Yep, I just like a man in power.
But yeah, I feel like when you're maybe going
into these like, holiday romance situations,
you just have to manage your expectations.
That is like, rule number one.
- It's difficult to do.
- You have like a time that you have to say goodbye,
like there is an end date, so you can like,
restrain yourself and stop yourself
from getting carried away.
- It's really hard, though, but.
- It is really hard, but I've had other ones
where it's just like, "That's the end date, cool.
"This has been great," and it like,
exists in its own happy little bubble,
and those are the times where it's like, perfect.
- Yeah.
- But then other times where I have clung on
for far too long and wasted months of my life
pining over someone extremely unavailable.
Not fun.
- Not fun at all.
Your heart's just in it as well
and you can't concentrate on anything else.
- You're so in it.
I can't remember the name of this thing is,
but it's basically an attachment that you form of someone
if you have spectacular experiences with them,
so it's the idea that if you experience
like, new and exciting things,
if you've got all of these crazy memories,
all of those happy hormones that you're getting
from experiencing these amazing things
that you're doing whilst travelling,
get transferred onto the person
that you're doing those things with,
and so you associate them with your happiness.
- Right, right.
- And it makes you like them more
than you would if you'd met them
in your mundane day to day life.
- 'Cause they're, they're just,
they're a happy holiday romance.
- One of the people that I had this like,
insane attachment to, the kinds of things
that we were doing on that holiday,
I'd never done before, were insane.
Everything was mind blowing, and so all of those emotions
that I was getting from that trip,
I was also associating with him,
and became far more attached to him
than if we'd gone on a few dates
and hung out a bit in London.
- Yeah, if you met him at home,
you probably wouldn't even fancy him.
- Well then, we actually ended up
meeting up like, seven months later.
It was great.
Like, we hooked up again, but like,
being in like, more of a normal,
like day to day, normal life,
I was just like, "Oh, this is fine.
"We can hook up now and then I can get some closure."
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- So those are experiences about like,
romances and travelling and stuff.
What if you are in a relationship and you're going travelling
or you're in a relationship and your partner goes travelling?
- Don't do it, don't even go there.
- Don't let them leave.
You may not leave.
- I know that sounds so bad,
and I've never actually been in the situation myself,
but this is genuinely from experience.
Every single person who I've met travelling,
you first meet them and they're like,
"I'm in a relationship," and you're like, "Okay."
- Sure.
- Yeah, sure.
Like, "I'm travelling and I'm in a relationship."
I'm like, "Okay."
They seem to stick to it, and then they'll be,
like Skyping their partner and stuff,
which is all lovely, like good to try,
but legit, it takes them about a week,
they're hooking up with every other girl.
- I think it's the same thing with the first bit.
Manage your expectations, because hooking up
is quite an inevitable part of travelling,
if that's what you're into.
- Even if you don't think it's going to.
In fact, I feel like it's even more likely to happen
when you don't expect it.
- When it catches you off guard.
- Yeah, because, like you're just hanging with people.
- You're like, "Who's that?"
- And then you're just like, "Oh, they're quite nice.
"They're all tanned."
- That's really creepy.
- Ooh, look at them.
- When I was 19, I did like,
the inter railing thing with one of my best friends,
and I was in a relationship at the time.
I was only away for three weeks,
but it was like the first time that I was like,
you know, travelling by myself kind of thing,
but also what was interesting is that when I was 18,
didn't have a smartphone.
It is so different now with technology and stuff.
- You get in a new location and you have
all these new people come up on your Tinder.
- Yeah, there was no dating apps,
and I didn't have like a phone contract.
I just did pay as you go, and it was like,
really expensive to call and send texts.
I would maybe send him like one text a day,
and then I would use the computers
in the hostel to send him an email.
I don't know what it would be like now.
You can like, FaceTime them.
- So you're saying that now it's possibly a good thing
'cause you can keep in touch with your partner more?
- Yeah, I think it's easier to keep in touch,
but then I think the opportunities to meet new people.
- Are also higher.
- Are also, yeah.
- So everything's just more intense basically.
- Yeah, everything is just intensified.
I do think in general if you're going travelling, be single.
- Or bring your partner.
- Or bring your partner, yeah, exactly.
- Couples travelling, I've met a couple of couples
where that--
- A couple of couples?
- I've met a couple of couples where that did not work.
- Oh, really?
- But for the most part, couples who I've met
who are backpacking have been absolutely fine.
They seem to be having a great time,
everyone else has a great time.
As long as they're not all lovey dovey together
and like, especially if you're in a dorm room,
like, for God's sake.
When there's a super duper lovey couple,
they get two bunk beds but they only sleep on one,
and they do their thing in one, and everyone else
is just in the room like, "You need to stop."
That's not good, don't do that.
- I bet they think, "Oh, we're being so discreet."
- Oh, please, please.
- So basically, our general advice is like,
if you have a holiday romance, end it.
If you're going solo travelling, be single.
- Be single, don't be in a relationship.
- Sometimes it can work, but remember,
if it does, you are the exception.
I think the whole thing in terms of navigating travelling
and relationships and romances and flings and all of that,
manage your expectations.
- Absolutely.
- Very much just like go in thinking, "This is not serious."
- Yep.
- If you go in thinking it's not serious,
less heartbreak, less complications, all of that.
- But you know, you could end up
with a fiance like my sister did.
She met her--
- Yeah, it does happen.
- She met her boyfriend in [Inaudible]
and now they're engaged.
- There you go.
See, it does happen, just not for us.
- Yeah, no.
- Not for us.
In general though, if you do meet someone like, travelling
and you wanted to stay with them,
my general advice with long distance relationships
is like, always to have like, a moment
that you can see in the future at some point
where you're gonna be living in the same place.
- And something to look forward to
and you know it's gonna happen and you've got that security
like, "Yes, we're gonna be together at that point."
- Yeah, I think otherwise it's just like,
"Will this ever work? Who knows? I don't know."
Which is a bit sad.
Sad times, sad times.
- Yeah, no, we don't want anyone to get heartbroken.
- But, on that note, holiday flings are great
and they can be loads of fun and meeting new people.
Use condoms.
- Absolutely.
- And if you wanna hear more about how to maintain
your sexual health whilst travelling,
we did a video on Christie's channel
where we talked about all of that good stuff.
- Yes, we did.
- Condoms, the best kind of contraception.
- Not getting pregnant, not getting STIs.
- Yeah, how to go get checked up whilst you're travelling,
all of that good stuff.
Thank you so much for watching.
Please give the video a little thumbs up
if you enjoyed it and love to hear your like,
holiday romance fling stories in the comments.
- Has it ever worked for you?
- Yeah, yes, are you the exception?
If you are willing to share.
- Yeah.
- Make sure you go and subscribe to Christie as well
whilst you're over watching the video.
She makes great travel content, and we'll see you soon.
Bye.
- Bye.