Okay. Five-hundred years before Don Corleone, there was Pope Alexander VI. Wait...a
pope? You might be scratching your head as to how an old guy in a red hat could be dubbed
the original godfather. But you haven’t met the Borgias. Allow us to introduce you. Today
on Nutty History we’re covering the holy family that inspired Mario Puzo to write the Godfather.
And believe us when we say that this crew makes the modern day mafia look pious. But before we
head to Italy, be sure to subscribe to our channel for all history wacky and weird.
The Borgia family’s rise to prominence began with Alfons de Borja, or Pope Calixtus III. While
Alfons didn’t garner quite as corrupt a reputation as his descendants, he did use his papacy to give
positions of power to his own family members. A little nepotism in those days was commonplace,
especially in the Catholic Church. But Alfons’ decision to make two of his nephews,
Rodrigo and Pedro, into cardinals in their mid twenties sent shockwaves through the Vatican.
Cardinals are the next most powerful position in the church right after the pope, and elect
the subsequent pope. And while we’re not sure what the average age of the College of Cardinals was at
the time, we’re pretty sure it looked more like a nursing home than a college campus.
After the death of Alfons, Rodrigo had to secure his power by voting in
and allying himself with the new pope, Pius II. And after that, he set about making money moves.
Despite his holy appointment, Rodrigo with dollar signs in his eyes,
started accumulating castles, land, and any other financial assets he could get his hands on.
Three popes later, Rodrigo had accumulated enough allies and money (mostly money) to bribe his way
into the papal throne. He made the cardinals a lot of offers they couldn’t refuse until the
mighty mitre was placed upon his head. That’s the funny looking hat that popes wear, by the way.
Rodrigo was now his holiness Alexander VI, and he wasted no time doling out high
ranking positions of power and wealth to his nearest and dearest friends and family. If
you’re going to create a dynasty, after all, you got to stack the deck in your favor. To
the College of Cardinals specifically, Rodrigo appointed no less than ten of his relatives,
most notably his 18-year-old son, Cesare. Wait hold up...popes can have kids?
Uh, this one did. Back in the day, even though it was frowned upon for popes to be publicly you know
doing things, many had suspected mistresses and had fathered children. And as pope, Rodrigo Borgia
didn’t really care what the haters had to say. He was head of the church, what they can really
do about it. So he took the step of publicly acknowledging his kids, making him the first
ever pope to do so. Rodrigo was thought to have a lot of mistresses, but the most well-known were
Vannozza dei Cattanei, who he had four children with, and Giulia Farnese, who was Borgia’s
mistress for most of his papacy until she fell out of favor due to her ripe old age of...26. Yikes.
Despite the blossoming religious career that daddy bought him, Cardinal Cesare quickly garnered a
reputation as the most ruthless member of the Borgia clan. His older brother, Juan,
was thought to be the Pope’s favorite son. Juan was made a Duke and commanded the papal army.
But kinda like how Michael Corleone suddenly rose to the top of the family, Cesare was the
one to become his father’s number two. At just twenty-years-old, Juan Borgia was found murdered,
throat slit and nine stab wounds in his torso, his corpse was thrown in the Tiber River. Many
fingers pointed to Cesare as the culprit, since he was known for both beating his own brother
and murdering his problems away. We may never know the truth, but one thing is certain, Juan Borgia
sleeps with the fishes. Cesare’s lust for blood was only starting, and after his brother’s death
he conveniently gained the power and wealth that had been previously allocated to Juan.
He abandoned his position as Cardinal - the first person in the history of the church to
ever do so - to live a secular life where he could really get his hands dirty. Well, dirtier. As the
new military commander, Cesare was tasked with pacifying the papal states. In three years, he
conquered the area and brought more Italian land into the hands of one family than ever before.
It was a good day to be a Borgia. If they had to kill a few former friends along the way,
his holiness was alright with the sacrifice. In 1499 alone, Cesare ordered the assassination of
the Spanish Constable of the guard, a soldier-captain, an Italian lord,
and the bishop of Ceuta, among others. A little later he slaughtered three of his own senior
commanders at dinner for plotting against him. That’s one way to quickly quell dissent.
You don’t get to be pope without making a few enemies along the way, and the Borgias had more
than their fair share. Other powerful families of Italy at the time included the Medicis,
the Sforzas, and the Orsinis, they resented a Spanish family taking power. Their other,
uh...controversial actions probably didn’t help either. The Pope also had to contend
with the warring kingdoms of France and Naples. Rodrigo’s solution for all these feuds was to
essentially flip flop and backstab, based on whoever suited his needs better at the time.
Rinse and repeat. He also used these disputes as a distraction while making his own power
plays with his trusty weapon-son, Cesare. Meanwhile, Pope Alexander used his daughter,
Lucrezia, who was said to be a great beauty, as a pawn to secure his power among Italy’s elite. He
first married her at twelve-years-old to Giovanni Sforza. However, Lucrezia’s husband didn’t prove
to be the political ally that the pope had hoped for. Rumor has it that Cesare attempted
to assassinate his brother-in-law, but the plot failed. Why go to the trouble, though, when the
Pope can just annul the marriage? After fleeing to Rome, Giovanni was strong-armed into an annulment.
The Pope had more important political figures to marry his daughter to, so he essentially forced
Giovanni into stating very much on-the-record that he was impotent and that the marriage had
never been consummated. Thus, the sham marriage was declared invalid with a sham annulment.
Rumor also had it that around this time, Lucrezia gave birth to a love child.
There were many suspected fathers, but most of the suspicion landed on one of the Pope’s
chamberlains, Pedro Calderon. Interestingly, a short while later the bodies of Pedro and
a maid showed up floating in the Tiber. Hmmm, sounds familiar. Much like the modern-day mafia,
it seems the Borgias weren’t a fan of loose ends. For marriage number two, Lucrezia wed
Alfonso of Aragon, the illegit son of the King of Naples. Unfortunately for Alfonso, alliances shift
quickly around here. He was murdered, probably by Cesare, as the Borgias decided they were actually
Team France. Lucrezia’s third and final arranged marriage was the longest and most successful,
although she did carry on a lengthy affair with her brother-in-law. Not one to leave
all the fun to her father and brother, Lucrezia was known to be fatal to her enemies as well.
It was said that poison was her weapon of choice, so much so that she kept it inside
a ring that she wore for easy access. You never know when an impromptu poisoning might be needed!
After Pope Alexander the sixth passed away, the Borgia family stayed legendary but fell
from grace. While Lucrezia lived longest, and even managed to outgrow the ill repute of her family,
without his father in charge, Cesare was unable to hold onto their domain. Maybe if he hadn’t
been so quick to toss his Cardinal’s hat, the Borgia story would have ended differently. Still,
their often-deadly schemes and hostile takeover of Italy made the Borgias a renaissance mob that went
down, for better or worse, in history. Before we say Ciao, let us know in the comments if
you’d rather take on this not-so-holier-than-thou family or the fictional Corleones they inspired.