When I have phone sessions
first of all I'd have you
do an exhaustive list
now the list will be something I say start at birth
and I say, what do mean start at birth, start before birth!
What does that mean, past life? No, you know
like with myself you know my mother was pregnant at fourteen.
I mean that's before my birth, you know that builds emotions before your birth that do affect how people
treat you.
They effect how they act with you.
So before your birth, like if your mom was raped on a snow bank well that would
have an emotional effecting on how the mom and the family would treat you.
So start before birth,
and she said well
my sister hated me, she was jealous
well that's
probably before birth
and then those emotional drivers in those situations
will influence how do you respond to them, and the information emotional highway that
got starts being built for you.
so I always say start with birth,
start with the experiences you remember if you don't have any childhood
experiences,
well you can't list it.
but list what you do know,
and then you list individuals, for example if you have a big brother and he has always
picked on you,
and then you say big brother
he held me under the water, he beat me up, he would do this
every memory reference that would support it.
Now that your list, it's in the peace program that I want you to work
and then you'd go to ..
I always doing any physical
any emotion abuse, any sexual abuse
and sometimes it is not sexual abuse, it could be the very first sexual experiences.
you know, the nextdoor neighbor boy, well those so much emotion in and around sex.
There's so much emotional hurt in and around sex.
So you go back and you start cleaning all this stuff and releasing
it and let there be peace within the experiences
and then we go to
school experiences. I have worked with so many people have been traumatized,
emotionally traumatized because of teachers.
Not all teachers, just the bad ones,
the ones who have problems.
(laughs)
so you know what that means
haha
but the smart ones are in this class by the way,
because they're healing
and then with teachers students kids I tell you, there's so much
belief system that's picked up from school that you will not believe
you know a sixty-two year old man who thinks he is stupid
and yet he's a genius
I say how do know? He says and starts crying: because my second grade teacher said so!
And he's sixty two years old!
because you know what happens
automatically he regressed to
second-grade
feeling those emotions because the teacher didn't like his brothers either.
So, school experiences
they could be major moves, moving from
grandma's house
moving out to the country.
It could be
the death of a dog
it could be because your dad gave your dog away.
I mean we're talking about events that for children are big, to us as adults think that
shouldn't be a big deal, but to a child
that's their whole world.
They could be just about anything, so anything you start at that, you start moving forward
any relationship, first boyfriend, first girlfriend
you know all the stuff because inside of us we create a belief system about ourself.
And as you start walking to the future, I always recommend
the pivotal points in your life with individuals: mom, dad
I mean there was an individual came to me said
you know his life
actually changed because some kid on the bus picked on him everyday, going back and forth
to school.
Well, if you realize that this is a little kid
who knows nothing about the world
and so he's stuck on a bus
and he starts to get beat up on picked on, and he thinks this is how the world is and guess
what?
He always found a relationship where somebody would pick on him,
because he believed that's how the world was.
So this is what we do, we start going back and we start looking
at experiences, things that hurt
ex-husbands, ex-boyfriends, ex-girlfriend
whatever it is
deaths, grief and loss.
And some people say, well
I don't remember anything about my childhood
but I suspect
well write down what you suspect
because we can still change the emotional drivers behind it.
That's how I do my first sessions, they are always two hours,
always two hours and I really work hard to clean up everything in two hours.
You can believe it or not, I can do pretty amazing work in two hours
and I want you to the homework list because when I go through that list
I'm gonna work really hard to clean it up and your life will change.
That doesn't mean I get it all
You've been working for years to have your problem.
Isn't that true?
So that's how I do that
and of course
you know, I do take credit cards,
if I do it over the phone, of course I take credit cards
and PayPal if you have that.
You have a question? ....
Absolutely first session two hours, phone session = two hour session
and the nice thing is
with the two hour session over the phone is they email me the list and
I might
read through it, and kind of pick out, I want more of this and send back to them
to complete the list,
I'm looking for this structure
I wanna you know of course you know that the EFT style
is like they're chopping the limbs off the top
you know chopping all the little things that you can see right now
and I'm looking for the deep deal, I'm looking for what the structure is and I want to pull that
whole tree out, roots in all.
To where you're pretty clean of it, you know
and than we'll go back and clean it up, so that's basically how I do the first session.
I do seminars
as you well know, as you're all here
it's interesting I've been getting emails where this guy says, we will pay for your flights,
will pay for your hotel room, will pay for this, come to Turkey.
... woohoo
Hey man, you're gonna go Turkey
uh... you never know
So if you know how to run a seminar guys I'll come and see you.
How detailed, I mean
I've got broad categories, do you want specific incidents?
it'll be like a big list and how small do you want?
That's a good question very good
Here's where the problem is, usually. this is what will happen, let's say, for example
you have, I'm making up something: I have the fear of dogs.
So, if you have the fear of dogs ...
okay so you have the fear of dogs and you
leave that point there
now that's really basically a global
global, that's just general,
so what we want to do is
what is the structure
remember we talked about fears in the structure
we go right back here
to concept and beliefs, so this is the fear of dogs
the question is: how you know you have the fear of dogs
uh... so then you go back
and you say: well I know I have the fear of dogs because
John has a dog
and when I went to see John I've felt this fear. Okay right,
then I say well how do you know you have a fear of dogs and then you start looking and listing
every experience for the fear of dogs you'll always notice it will go back to
a major experience.
So it may go back to when you're five years old
and your next-door neighbor's dog bit your finger.
And then you have another experience
with you went to your girlfriend's house and they had a doberman, and he tried to bite you
or you always felt this.
This is how you know you have the problem
now so if you go to this and you go say
I have a fear of dogs, even though I have this fear about dogs, let it go, let it go
let it go and you keep tapping, but it doesn't go away
Well the reason is, because your're not addressing
the cause.
That's the structure in which you handle it within.
The EFTers
(emotional freedom technique) will keep going
"even though I have this, even though I have this, even though I have this" without going
to the structure. Now they would say reason we can't get rid of the fear of dogs is because of
psychological reversal.
Well, what is psychological reversal?
Psychological reversal is I have proof
this is why I can't get rid of this,
so we just go in and say okay why do you have a problem? How do you know? Do you have internal
proof and references?
As you release the references
all of a sudden, the fear goes, automatically disappears.
So if you say, for example, if you you say I have uh...
say, you're divorced
and I have a fear of getting into a relationship
getting intimate with somebody.
Well, here it is this is a general problem,
but I said well how do you know you have this problem
well then you go back and say well my first husband
and then you notice (that with) the first husband you have these emotions of being rejected,
feeling not good enough, for not giving you attention, then we start looking at the
first boyfriend, the first experiences, then we go back to the father and I'll be darned!
It's the exact same emotions you've had with your father!
So you can say, I know it's safe to have a loving relationship, but unless you
get rid of
your psychological emotional attachments to it, you will never have a good relationship,
because you've got to heal your inner resources and what you believe.
So this is, basically,
you have to break it down. How do you know? let's say for example
you don't have
memories of
the fear of dogs.
How do you know you have a fear? Well, my heart is pounding fifty miles an
hour,
when I hear a dog
I feel this. When I see the teeth of the dog or when I, whatever it is, so it's how you internally
do it
so however you do it
internally is what gives meaning to it.
So if you have no memories of bad dogs but you know you have the fear
Ask yourself: how do I know I have the fear?
Well when I think of a dog I have a picture of one growling at me!
Internal process.