ok google, play classical music.
sorry guys, there is something about the juxtaposition of
classical music that's like really grand and
almost crackhead energy that I'd like to combine.
hi bidgets, my name is FitnessGram Pacer Test today.
now, listen, listen, don't- *laughs*
i don't know what you guys are thinking honestly, but like i'm gonna just list things that i think you're thinking.
why, wow, oh my god, is this a late april fool's joke?
no, actually it's not. it's april 2nd, so i can't make this a joke anymore.
i have been quarantined. i'm going crazy, okay- i think a lot of us are.
earlier today, I was listening to 'canon indeed' and I laughed for five minutes straight.
that's when you know something's wrong.
i said something on twitter that was like:
"oh my god, i can finally shave my eyebrows and not be judged, because i'm not gonna see people in college."
i'm stuck here for like what- another six months?
my hair goes fast, it'll come back.
all of you guys were judgmental! all of you were so not supportive of me.
i considered this a really nice community, a very supportive community.
no, none of that was there. there was just negative energy, like:
"frederic, DON'T DO IT! we love your eyebrows, why are you doing this, this is not your britney spears moment-"
that- that's all I heard, but you know what?
i- i don't want a britney spears moment, okay? i want to experience freedom.
last week, i waxed my eyebrows, so it's very ironic of all the work i put into that-
now, listen to my reasoning okay, i'm giving you science. i'm not gonna see anyone for a while.
i've done much worse to my face, i used to put lemon juice on my face okay,
there's nothing worse than that. i will get to experience what it's like to be a pale white female,
with no eyebrows. my friends who happen to be very pale and have blonde eyebrows get mad at me because they're like:
"frederic, you're so lucky you have thick eyebrows"
and people always say: "put yourself in other people's shoes"
to anyone out there who gets jealous of other people's eyebrows, or they really like my eyebrows and get envious, this is for you okay?
you get to screenshot this as much as you can, you get to make fun of me.
by all means, do it as much as you want.
and yeah, this will get views, but my job is also to entertain you guys.
and I also need to entertain myself because- this is hard to admit.
mom, i don't like your cooking anymore. it's not because it doesn't taste good,
but i'm tired of chinese food.
i just want a burger but i can't get one because i'm not allowed to leave this house,
or else people will yell at me for my eyes.
so instead of judging me for my eyes, i'm gonna have them judge me for my eyebrows.
i'm so sorry to every parent, every teacher, *laughs*, every professor who's watching me right now.
i'm not going crazy, TRUST ME, i don't do drugs, okay? i am JUST BORED
and this was like a 3am thought, like just why not?
i said i thought i was Joana Ceddia two weeks ago and you guys said you have to shave your head to do that.
well, can Joana Ceddia do this? actually, it probably could. maybe you should get a closer
maybe you should get the closer look. let's show you a l l t h e s e p o r e s
it's very intimate right now, isn't it? (yes ;u;)
hopefully this stays on camera, but i'm looking at a mirror right now.
first, let's give myself that edgy eyebrow slit that everyone has. *mechanical buzzing*
oh shit, that's kind of scary, okay-
is that cute? you know, i could never tell if i absolutely hate this look or i love it.
whatever. i'm not a pussy, i'm not a pussy, let's just do this-
*more buzzing* (noo o.o)
this isn't meant to shave an eyebrow, so i do have to go back in,
but this- let's just give you a little moment right now.
no, these are not filled in, by the way.
*more buzzing* (for the next parts just assume that there is buzzing .w.)
honestly, like, i don't feel like crying yet-
oh it's in my eye, oh shit, it's in my- mmm, probably should wipe this off, i have a towel here, don't worry.
i'm either a drag queen or an egirl. wait, if egirls have the thing with their eyebrows going up, what do eboys have?
oh, yeah, a bad personality, got it.
all right, let's get the rest here boys, finish it off~
this feels like a haircut for my eyebrows- this is a new feeling.
i've also- that's another thing.
when are you gonna be able to feel your naked face? like, never.
i think my eyebrow right now is what my eyebrow would be in 70 years.
even closer, let's do this. i can't fucking see guys, oh my god~
there are so many in my eyes, wow ew.
ok wait, i don't have makeup wipes with me, so we're gonna use baby wipes today.
honestly, it doesn't look-
nah, it looks bad, nevermind.
oh my god, i'm gonna have such a big forehead after this-
i haven't even told my mom. she doesn't know i'm doing this right now.
and of course, i'm gonna film her reaction, so don't worry about that.
gonna put some shaving cream on this-
is this what drag queens feel like? i feel like my forehead grew in size.
i mean it did technically. i just did a bad thing~
i don't regret the thing that i did~ because it'll grow back in two weeks.
ooh, that's very low, i have not been able to get that low before. okay~
yup, wow, woah~ okay, okay, okay.
ooh.
what do i look like? i look like something.
an alien, is that? a loser? an embarrassment, an accident, a mistake. (no ;u;)
all synonyms would work very well right now.
it's very close to my eye too, i need to be careful. w o w ~
when did jenna marbles make this video? maybe a wig would help?
is that it though? did i do it? did i- (yes uwu)
*scoff/sigh*
*laughter*
wow, whoa ho ho hoe~
do I look a lesbian? no? mmm, yeah. fuck, i think i understand why those minecraft kids were saying i look like a girl.
this is for you too, okay? this is your reassurance.
okay, but if I do this, no one knows. so I could hide it.
buckethat gang, ready, on. you don't see it, and then-
* w a h *
he's not like most boys. he can't grow facial hair.
if asian boys say they can't grow facial hair, why do they have eyebrows then?
i'm just living my true life. i said i can't grow facial hair, this is what i should look like then.
a boiled egg, a boiled yellow egg. i'm not even like upset,
do you see this? calm. it'll grow back in two weeks, right? *laughs* (it better owo)
um, i'm not gonna show my friends yet. we will get the reaction,
but let's just- i want to see what it'll look like.
you can handle this for the next two weeks, right? you won't unsubscribe? you won't- *laughs*
let's play the emotion game. how good are you reading my emotions? ready?
surprised.
angry.
sad.
wow, my eyebrows are very expressive. that- WOAH.
WOW, that arch.
let's try something else. there was once a trend where people had very thin eyebrows.
v e r y t h i n .
*cute squeal ;u;*
ooh, who is she? i feel like there are some people that can still pull this off. (you :})
now i know, i'm not one of those people.
i think i have my mom's eyes on right now. my mom likes to say i got my eyebrows from her,
so i might as well replicate her eyebrows on me. that's my mom's eyebrow.
honestly, that looks-
it's not that bad.
granted, i like the original better, but like with this, you have so much freedom to just
try out new shapes and sizes AND COLOURS.
i didn't need a boyfriend, but i'm really not gonna get one right now at this rate. (who wouldn't want you frederic ;u;)
what about sperm brows? very bulbous at the front.
no, that's getting- we're getting a little worse. 2/10 for the sperm look.
let's try me in middle school. (softly) connect the dots~
this is high fashion for some people.
listen, i'm pretty somewhere around the globe. antarctica. that's- that's it.
i'm ready to try some other things.
if you know, you know.
*scoffs*
are you guys getting a good laugh at this? is this entertainment for you? seeing other people suffer?
well guess what? no suffering here, okay? just complete pleasure.
because there are not enough days and animal crossing for me to end this boredom.
only this has satisfied me enough. this is like pop art. this is like avant-garde-
let's try a different color.
i was very close to dying my eyebrows silver at some point, if you remember.
but I'm very curious as to what my eyebrow would be once i have purple eyebrows.
the third time is gonna be a fun time.
"hey frederic, what did you do today?" oh nothing, um, i got bored.
now at least i'll learn how to do a steady hand after this.
i was taking too long so I just added some water to it.
oh my god. thank god.
the bar was set so low for this purple and it still managed to go below it.
draw a straight line frederic, fucking- c a n y o u d o a n y t h i n g s t r a i g h t ?
*laughs/scoffs*
should i even bother drawing them in for class or should i just like, go like this?
let me know now.
it's a little thicker than what i'm used to and it's also starting to burn a little, but i just wanna know like,
what is the optimal thickness, you know, height, width, for my eyebrows,
so I guess over the next two weeks, i'll be trying different shapes each day,
and then, once they finally grow back, i will wax them so that they look like that shape.
or maybe the best shape is no eyebrow,
and you can have fun every day. i wouldn't mind purple eyebrows.
i have this one eyeshadow shade that i've never used before because i don't see myself using it ever.
and it's like this emeraldy, chromey, shifty, makeup guru words, i don't know.
oh no need to do this anymore. no no, i don't need this.
o h
m y
g o d
that is fucking cool and you can't tell me it isn't.
are you kidding me? this is so fun.
i can have fun for so many days now.
i wonder how many of you guys physically shook your head when i shaved my eyebrows.
dude, this is so fun. oh my god.
*mumbles* *scoffs*
you know my mom and dad, they've been saying like:
"frederic, we're really accepting of you lately, like anything you do, we don't mind."
i'm just testing how much i can push the limit before they get mad at me again.
there's like when i dyed my hair, they're like "oh looks fine, we don't care."
i was like: okay, if that looks fine, how about this? how much can you handle?
i'm gonna try one more type of eyebrow shape and then we'll call it a day.
i've always *scream*
i've always said i love tim burton- *laughs*
i really do look sad, no matter how happy i try to *smile*
*scoffs jokingly*
that's powerful. do you see how powerful eyebrows are?
amazing. i had fun. i'm gonna have fun for a while.
if you enjoyed it, give it a LIKE, leave a COMMENT down below about what was your favorite eyebrow shape and color,
HIT that NOTIFICATION so you get to see more tomfoolery like this.
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um, only fans, and as always, i love you guys and everything is less than three. (<3)
*gasp* boy. no no no, no sir.
Mm-hmm-hmm. less than three. bye.
wait, i haven't shown you guys my friends' reactions yet.
f: so as you know, do you know what the announcement is?
- you are gay.
f: no, i shaved my eyebrows.
look, i did, look, i did, i'm literally-
well, i shaved them
i'm telling you i shaved-
why is this such a surprise?
mom, 要不要看一个东西？ [do you want to see something?]
mom: huh?
fred: 真的 [it's real!]
mom: (annoyed) 什么？ [what?]
fred: 我- 我shave他们off了 [i- i shaved them off.]
mom: 为什么？ [WHY?]
*fred laughs*
mom: 小疯子你一个！ [you little maniac!]
fred: 给一个video [for a video]
*laughs again*
mom: 后来会不会长出来的？ [will they grow back later?]
fred: yeah.
mom: yes?
fred: ok.
*movie-ish music*
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