if you're somebody who's stuck in the friend zone it's most likely because
you're extremely selfish and self-centred that's right I said it
so make sure that you stick around as we discussed why that is what is up
everybody this is Chris from the rewired soul where we talk about the problem but
focus on the solution and first off let's take a second to admire my new set
up you are viewing me in a brand new camera I got my little bookshelf my
little sign right here with different topics don't forget to Like and
subscribe you know what I'm saying but anyways now that that's over welcome
back to another video on my playlist called the broken picker this whole
playlist is about dating relationships how to have better relationships how to
find better people to date because this all has to do with our mental health and
today as you've seen we're gonna be talking about the friend zone so if
you're somebody who complains about always being stuck in the friend zone or
you know people who always complain about being stuck in the friend zone
this is the video for you so make sure that you try to share it with other
people because I'm gonna give you some very valuable lessons first off what
makes me the right guy to talk about the friend zone is because I used to be the
king the king of the friend zone if this was Game of Thrones I would be sitting
on top of the Iron Throne in the friendzone Kingdom okay I was the master
of the front though and every time I'd get stuck in the friend zone I would sit
there and I'd get into self-pity and I would just cry and I would whine to all
of my friends and to myself and just curse the world attack look why doesn't
she like me why I'm such a good guy why don't women just like nice guys I just
don't get it and this might sound like you or might
sound like some of those white knights that you know right so the good news is
is that once I started to work on my mental health I never got stuck in the
friend zone again and no this isn't one of those like relationship videos
they're like all these like dating experts give like how they never get
caught in the friendzone again it's gonna be talking about the idea of
selfishness self-centeredness as well as something called self seeking so self
see is a vocabulary word that I really want
you to learn okay understanding what self-seeking was is something that
completely changed the way that I view different situations and it greatly
improved my mental health so self-seeking is a synonym for self
serving self seeking the way I look at it is we're only doing something
expecting something in return so whenever we're doing something nice for
other people we're always doing it with some kind of underlying motive behind it
okay and a lot of times we're doing this without even realizing it it's
completely subconscious and most of Talman were self seeking we're seeking
an emotion right or a feeling or credit or gratitude these are the things that
we're seeking right so we're never doing anything with pure intentions and
oftentimes that sets up expectations and it also sets us up for failure so for
those of you who aren't following me quite yet let's talk about self seeking
and I'll use myself as an example but you might be able to relate to this all
right so back in the day self seeking Chris friendzone Chris white night Chris
okay back in the day let's say that on you know I find this girl attractive and
I decided I'm gonna ask her out on a date
and she's like okay Chris I'm like nice let's do this so I Drive over to her
house and I go and I walk up to her door I knock on the door and I'm like oh my
god you look so beautiful tonight and she's like thank you okay so I walk her
down to my car I open up the door of my car I let her in I close the door behind
her I Drive away and we go to a restaurant and this isn't just any
restaurant this is a nice restaurant this is an expensive restaurant now
women are sure to love right we go there and when we get there I pull her chair
out for and I scoot her in and we sit down we have a great conversation I
compliment her some more she even laughs like Chris you're so funny oh my god I
know girl right so we finish up dinner we leave I Drive
her back to her place I run around the car and I open up the door and I let her
out of the car and I walk her back up to the door and I say goodnight and she
says thanks Chris I had a really good time and she gives me a hug and she goes
inside and I get yes right I'm like what are you serious
right now they'd meanwhile my friends are texting me on my phone they're like
hey Chris how'd the date go up Sydney I'm like can you believe this he was a
perfect gentleman all night I was so nice and kind and I complimented her I
took her to this nice restaurant and all these other things right and all she
gave me was a hug goodnight can you believe this right and then all of a
sudden next thing you know I'm stuck in the friend zone well here's the problem
with that entire scenario I was being self-seeking the entire night so part of
this whole friendzone idea is that somebody owes us something then when
we're being a gentleman when we're just being a legitimate good person that
they're supposed to give us something in return and that is self-seeking that is
setting up ourselves up to have these expectations of what people OS just for
being a decent human being and its really kind of scummy when you think of
it like that so the first thing that I had to do to start working on this was
to become really self-aware really quick I had to start analyzing all my
situations in all these friend zone scenarios and start to realize like whoa
like I'm only doing things expecting something in return like I had to really
reflect and kind of take an inventory on myself and be like okay bye I'm not
really a nice guy to be a nice guy Hey I'm only a nice guy because I'm trying
to get something in return and I'll do other videos on this but this is
specifically about relationships I was never pursuing a girl or talking to a
girl or being nice to a girl unless I was trying to get something in return
so the next thing I had to do after being self-aware about what was
happening was I had to start realizing how crazy I was acting see part of this
whole dilemma of the friendzone is is that we get all offended and defensive
and we don't get it we don't understand why when somebody doesn't reciprocate
our attraction to them like I had to realize that not every woman I pursue is
going to be attracted to me whether it's physically whether it's my personality
whether like no matter what it is and I had to realize like that's okay the way
that I realized that that was okay was I did some
or self-reflecting and I realize like Chris are you attracted to literally
every girl on earth the answer's no I have a type there are things that I look
for in a personality so why am i holding women to a higher standard than I have
myself right so I had to start to learn that it's okay if somebody doesn't like
me all right and that's totally fine and I'm gonna do some more videos on this
because I do have a multitude of female friends and one of the scummiest things
that I see guys doing is they're like message a girl on a dating app she
doesn't reply or she's not into him and the guy just starts talking trash to him
like that is nuts that is crazy so my suggestion is is
that if there is a a person and by the way women can get caught up in this too
if there is a man or a woman or whoever you're attracted to and you get stuck in
the friend zone like it's okay move on we are on a planet with seven point six
billion people that's a billion with a B all right and it's okay move on a lot of
our suffering happens is when we get stuck on to the idea that this is the
only person that's going to be right for me like if you really analyze your past
like I'm sure there's plenty of people that you had a thing for in the past and
it either didn't work out or it never would have worked out and you realize
that this is just another drop in that pond so please try to remember that the
other thing that's really helped me about getting rid of this whole
friendzone idea is that I'm no longer only talking to women just because I'm
attracted to them and what it's helped me do is build even more relationships
and get a lot more friends like now I'm not only talking to a girl who I think's
cute or pretty or anything like that I have legitimate friends who are female
where there is nothing else aside from that you know what I mean and then you
know I put them in one category these are my friends who are females and
that's okay and then I met somebody wonderful like my girlfriend where you
know she is one of my best friends but obviously there was an attraction and we
pursued past that friendzone you see what I'm saying so I think that's a
problem life more so with guys a lot of guys have that problem and as
because they only talk to women if they're somehow attracted to him
all right so anyways I want to know your thoughts I want to know what you guys
think about friend-zoning right I want to know if you've been
stuck in it or if you know people who are or even ladies out there I'm hoping
you can relate to this video maybe you share it with some guys that you know
like what is your experience with people complaining about being stuck in the
friend zone make sure you leave them down in the comments below all right but
anyways anyways if you've liked this video please give it a thumbs up and if
you've liked my new set up I got going on here make sure you give it a double
thumbs up alright and if you're new here I'm always making videos to help you out
with your mental and emotional well-being make sure you click that
little brown subscribe button and to check out some more videos click or tap
on the thumbnail over there thanks so much for watching I'll see you next time