You may have heard some variation of the joke "how do you know someone's vegan?
Don't worry, they'll tell you!"
Ironically, this joke captures one of the reasons many—if not most—vegans actually
won't tell you they're vegan.
In this video we're not only going to look into some of the reasons vegans hide their
veganism, but also how this self-silencing—and its causes—harms all of us—vegan or not.
But the solution may not be what you expect.
Essentially, we need to evolve towards a world
without vegans.
(I promise I’ll explain that…)
Hi, it's Emily from BiteSizeVegan.org, where you can find the article for this video with
my sources and more information.
While the first few sections of we'll cover may sound like a commercial for why you should
never consider moving away from eating animals, there is evidence things may be changing.
But before we can speak to the solutions and signs of hope, we need to understand the fear
that disclosure their veganism holds for many vegans.
Research shows that negativity toward vegans is not only widespread but also "largely accepted"
and not seen as a societal problem, unlike other forms of bias.
So, while vegans face bias and even outright hate like other stigmatized groups, their
experience is compounded by the fact that hating on vegans is generally acceptable—even
socially encouraged.
Documentary filmmaker Kelly Guerin's experience of "coming out vegan" was so jarring that
she focused her Honors Thesis in Anthropology on better understanding the source of the
aggression she encountered:
She said: “I expected my friends and family would mock me as they had...when I became vegetarian.
What I did not expect was the hostility I faced and the almost daily confrontations
in which I found myself forced to engage.
I was called “freak”, “naïve”, and was even told by one roommate
“you should just do the world a favor and kill yourself”.
Shockingly, an old friend who had recently turned vegan confided that he found it much
harder emotionally to tell people he was a vegan than it was to come out as a homosexual
in a conservative middle school."
In my video and article "The Science of Why People Hate Vegans," I explore what research—including
Guerin's thesis—has to say about what motivates these kinds of responses.
I won't reiterate that entire video here, but one of the key takeaways is that when
we take the time to understand the defenses behind such negativity toward vegans, we can
see that they primarily arise from a place of personal distress rather than intentional cruelty.
At the same time, understanding the source of negativity or aggression doesn't always
make being on the receiving end of it any less distressing.
Nor does it make that negativity acceptable.
While it's helpful for us to lower our own defenses in order to have more effective interactions
with people, it's equally important that we validate how painful, isolating, infuriating,
and challenging it can be to be openly vegan in this world.
In understanding all sides, we start to see the common threads of humanity
that run throughout our discord.
As we’ve discussed, one of the most common reasons vegans self-silence is to avoid stigma
and stereotypes.
Essentially, vegans desire what most of us desire: to be judged for who we are rather
than who people think we are.
Studies show that the most prominent negative perception of vegans is that they're judgmental,
self-righteous, and arrogant.
Some people have had interactions with vegans where they felt judged or attacked—and,
let’s be honest, they very well may have been.
At the same time, research shows that even the gentlest message from a vegan is often
received as aggressive, and even just the mention of a vegan can put people on guard.
People often anticipate being judged by vegans, which raises their defenses—and vegans anticipate
being seen as judgemental, raising their defences as well.
Essentially, vegans can be prejudged as judgmental out of the fear of being judged.
If they have to disclose their veganism, vegans are put in the precarious position of trying
to preemptively defend themselves from the assumption they're judgmental while not coming
across as judgmental in their defense.
Vegans may “soften” their veganism to avoid conflict, being stereotyped, and/or
to make sure those around them don’t feel judged.
As one study participant put it, "I have to defend myself and protect them at the same
time," speaking to the dual burden of “feel[ing] responsible for making others feel comfortable
around her while at the same time…protecting herself from verbal attacks.”
Many veg*ns feel they must also "balance the tension between staying true to their...beliefs...and
fitting in socially," emphasising that they are proud of who they are and what they believe in.
For some vegans, self-silencing is not so much about fitting in socially as it is the
exhaustive demands of explaining themselves, which we'll explore soon in a dedicated
(and, frankly, cathartic section).
Understandably, many vegans just avoid opening the door in the first place.
Ironically, the self-silencing of vegans may actually reinforce some of the very stigmas
and stereotypes they are trying to avoid.
After all, no one can experience a vegan positively when they don't know they're vegan in the
first place.
You may have had many positively delightful interactions with vegans and have absolutely no idea!
This is why some vegans take the approach of letting people get to know them first before
disclosing that they're vegan.
But this isn't always possible and—for some of us—it's the people who know us best that
have the most painful reactions.
Another reason vegans self-silence is due to the fear of being rejected, mocked, or dismissed.
For many vegans, this fear comes from real-life painful experiences.
Rejection is something we humans take extreme measures to avoid.
The pain of rejection is significantly magnified when it's in response to a core aspect of
our identity or a firmly held core value.
This adds an additional layer for vegans motivated by ethical concerns for other animals,
the environment, human rights, and/or societal health.
Mockery and dismissal of their veganism feels not only like a rejection of who they are,
but also like mockery and dismissal of the very real suffering and exploitation of other
animals and humans alike, and of pressing issues like the climate crisis.
Perhaps the most devastating magnifier of rejection is when it comes from a central
figure in our life—especially from within our family of origin.
Nothing hits us quite like family does.
Disclosing veganism is often unavoidable with family, and when that disclosure is met with negativity,
it often leads vegans to be vigilant about not disclosing their veganism to other
people, or even returning to eating animals.
Now that we've covered some of the complex pressures behind vegan self-silencing with
the sincerity and compassion they deserve, let's take a moment to acknowledge a unifying
thread running throughout them all: the fact that frankly, being openly vegan is exhausting.
This is a point that anyone can relate to on some level—vegan or not.
One of the reasons people can be uncomfortable around vegans is that they feel they have
to defend themselves.
Well, for anyone openly vegan, this is a default expectation at all times—and, it's just
the tip of the iceberg.
Imagine having to:
always be prepared to explain and defend every aspect of veganism, and also
answer for every action of every vegan as if you are somehow responsible for whatever
some vegan somewhere did, and also have data and statistics for every potential
question, and also make sure your responses don't come across
as judgmental or combative—even if you were approached with aggression, and even if you're
being actively judged and preached to while being accused of being judgmental and preachy,
and also make sure that your responses are suited to
the exact individual and situation you're in, and also
preserve the relationship if with a friend, family member, work colleague, or boss, and also
try not to bring in any emotional intensity
from your previous experiences of being rejected, mocked, insulted, and disparaged for being
vegan, and also make sure not to reflect badly on all other
vegans and veganism itself, and also try not to betray your own convictions, the
animals, the planet, or all of society, and also
do all of this with the knowledge that by answering questions posed to you, you may
be accused of "talking about veganism all the time."
Being openly vegan can feel like having to be a sociologist, psychologist, and walking
encyclopedia with expert "skills in emotional and social negotiation" and infinite patience
and compassion.
Honestly, sometimes you just want to be a person around other people.
Now again, this may sound like a commercial for why you should never consider going vegan
or moving away from eating animals, but there is evidence that things may be changing.
But before we get to that note of hope, let’s look at how vegan self-silencing
—and its causes—actually harm all of us.
As I've hinted at throughout this video, the pressures motivating vegans to self-silence—and
the act of self-silencing itself—have a larger-scale impact than just individual vegans.
We as a society are becoming increasingly concerned about climate change, workers' rights,
dangers to our community's health, food insecurity, and what happens to animals in our food system.
The need for a societal evolution away from eating animals is becoming more and more evident
for the well-being of our planet, our communities, and of course, the animals themselves.
At the same time, we humans are social animals, and we often look to what most other people
are doing to aid in our decision-making.
And most people are still eating animals.
So even if we feel discomfort about what animals go through to get to our plate or we're concerned
about the climate, it doesn't look like other people are that worried.
Researchers behind the delightfully named study ""How do you know someone’s vegan?”
They won’t always tell you” propose that vegan self-silencing could reinforce this
perception that not eating animals is some "niche phenomenon" only adopted by a few people
on the fringe of society.
While it may seem like a small matter for individual vegans to stay silent about their
veganism, the study authors reference how "[s]eemingly trivial differences in the number
of people that hold a certain personal preference within smaller groups can, in the long run,
result in macro-level consequences for entire societies."
From this viewpoint, "[t]he tendency to self-silence among veg*ans may prevent the onset of momentum
and[…]critical mass that is needed to achieve a societal tipping point."
At the same time, simply asking vegans to be more vocal about their veganism places
them in the Catch-22 of eliciting the very stigma we’ve covered.
The problem isn’t so much vegan self-silencing, but rather the reasons driving that silence.
As we've learned in this video, going against social norms can have social consequences.
Research shows that the fear of receiving the same treatment as vegans prevents other
people from taking steps to move away from eating animals.
Steps they’d be open to exploring were it not for the potential social backlash.
This may seem like an impossible gridlock of necessary yet understandably resisted change.
But there is evidence things may be shifting.
Researchers, advocates, political leaders, and organizations are becoming aware of the
importance of institutional support for a societal evolution away from farming animals.
A shift in our collective relationship with eating animals has to involve more than us
as individuals, and there are organizations working at a systemic level in an effort that
none of us have to shoulder this alone.
For example, some universities, hospitals, schools, governmental bodies, businesses,
and even fast-food chains serve plant-based food as their default, with the option to
"opt-in" to animal-based food.
These programs have shown a significant decrease in animal food consumption, and changing attitudes
about plant-based foods.
They’ve found that when not eating animals is the norm rather than the deviation, people—including
meat-eaters—are more likely to enjoy eating plant-based meals.
In essence, rather than moving towards a world where everyone is vegan, we need to move to
a world without vegans at all—where not eating animals is simply our default.
Where we can all collectively act on our shared values without fear of going it alone.
On an individual level, the less we stigmatize and stereotype vegans—or anyone's effort
to move away from eating animals—the more welcome people will feel to be open about
their choices.
And the more we see other people acting on the things we also care about, the more welcome
we can feel to make our own changes.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic in the comments.
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