The word high value woman is thrown around a lot nowadays. What does it actually mean,
and what is a high value woman? Because the truth is, I think we've taken it a little bit too far,
where we've gone from this place of empowerment through to a place of entitlement.
Hi, everyone. Welcome back to my channel. I'm Renee Slansky, and I am a professional dating
and relationship coach. I help women from around the world become the best versions of themselves
to set themselves up for an incredible love life. In this video, I want to clarify a couple of
things to make sure that you are a woman of high value, not high maintenance because the two seem
to be getting really confused at the moment. There are a lot of women out there who are dating, who
have standards, who have boundaries, but they're still not getting anywhere. And when I start
to work with them, I realize that they're in this mentality that they think they're above
everything and everyone else. Their standards are actually really high and really unhealthy,
and they're setting themselves up to basically have the opposite effect that they want to have
on men. They're repelling men because they come across as women who are too much work.
So before I dive into these tips, let's make sure that you subscribe. Don't forget to turn on the
notification bells for when I have new videos. Give me a thumbs up, and let's do it right now.
Okay, the first way to know if you are high value or if you are high maintenance is this: you have
self-respect, you aren't self-entitled. As I was saying at the beginning of this video, it feels
like we've gone from this place of empowerment, which was originally encouraged by the media
and the times of women finding their voice, to a point where now we're taking it to a whole nother
level of thinking that we are above everyone else or that we are entitled to more because we are a
woman. And I think that whilst men have value and women have value, it isn't about a competition
here. Being a woman of high value means that you do know how to set boundaries. You do know how to
do things that actually encourage and reflect the self-respect that you have for yourself, like not
tolerating toxic behavior or not allowing people to walk all over you, or knowing when to say no.
However, if you're somebody who is high maintenance, you're taking that to the next level,
and you've turned that self-respect into something called self-entitlement. Self-entitlement is all
about self. It's not necessarily about self-preservation, it's about believing
that you are worth more than somebody else or that your value is more than somebody else,
and your actions become quite selfish. Okay, number two, if you are a high value woman,
not a high maintenance woman, then you have realistic standards, not standards that are so
incredibly high that no man can ever meet them. I see so many posts out there on social media
really setting women up for failure, can I just say? Setting them up for this mentality that
their standard should be just so ridiculously high because they've experienced some sort of trauma in
the past. If you've gone through a toxic situation or had somebody treat you really badly or
being in previous relationships or on previous dates where you haven't had the best experience,
it's normal that you need to raise the bar to make sure that you don't go through that again.
However, it doesn't mean that you raise it so far above that no man feels that he can ever reach it.
What this does is it puts you in a position to either block love because you then become
unavailable emotionally to these men because you are scared to get hurt, essentially.
Or these guys feel like they constantly have to compete and strive in order to be able to
get any sort of reciprocation back from you. So therefore they don't really see
you as a woman bringing value to our relationship. Okay, number three, if you are a high value woman,
then you see that men do actually bring value to a relationship, and you don't see yourself as being
above them. Again, there are so many social media posts out there, which are very toxic, saying that
if you don't get a guy call you back within the first couple of minutes, then you should dump him.
Or if he does certain behaviors, you should dump him. We need to be careful with this. We
need to be careful about making sure that we set women up to understand what a realistic status is
in the dating phase and relationships phase and what we should actually be expecting from men.
Just because you are a woman of value, it doesn't mean that you have to de-value men in your life.
If these are guys who don't treat you right, then you shouldn't be entertaining them
in the first place. However, as a woman of high value, you should be looking to make sure
that not only are you aligning yourself with a guy that is also high value,
but you're bringing your best qualities forward into a relationship to be a valuable partner
because that's what a high value woman is. She's somebody who doesn't necessarily feel that she's
entitled to everything in the relationship just because she's a woman. But she is a woman who
also brings value because she understands that a man brings value to that relationship as well.
Okay, number four, you avoid drama, you don't invite it in. If a woman is high maintenance,
she tends to like drama because she likes to have the attention on her or she feels like she needs
to create all this sort of tension in order to be able to feel elevated above somebody else
or because she has issues to be able to work through. A high value woman is a woman who says
no to drama. She realizes that she doesn't have time for it, she doesn't want to encourage it,
and so she makes sure that she prevents it from happening in her love life as well as
her personal life so that she can have peace and progress in her relationship.
Okay, number five, if you are a high value woman, you don't need attention just for validation.
Somebody who is high value means that they understand that they are grounded in self-love.
They know their worth, but they don't necessarily need to have it proven over and over again
by having random attention from other people. If you're somebody who is high maintenance,
chances are you feel like you have to earn validation from others. So maybe that means
that you're constantly obsessed about your self-appearance. Maybe it means that you're
constantly on social media posting pictures trying to get as much attention you can from guys.
Maybe you're dating several guys at once on dating apps because you need that attention in order to
be able to feel like you are loved and wanted and needed. I believe that a high value woman
understands that who she is is enough, whether or not that is confirmed by the people in her world.
Okay, number six, you use boundaries as a tool for something good, not as a way to punch somebody.
Somebody who is a high maintenance woman is someone who would use, let's say, silence as a way
to be able to punish a guy instead of just being able to communicate what it is that she needs to
be able to say and being really direct. Boundaries are an incredibly important part of any phase of
a relationship and any relationship in general. And a high value woman understands how to use them
in such a way that it sets herself up to be able to have a certain standard in a relationship
without necessarily degrading someone else or using it to manipulate somebody else.
And you might be noticing that I'm wearing this really cool t-shirt, which was actually
gifted to me. I'm very pregnant. You can't see me right now, but if I move up,
you'll be able to see my belly there. And this t-shirt is from a really cool company called
High Value Queens. And they've got some amazing merchandise, including some of these t-shirts
and mugs, which encourage women to be able to basically set some standards and know their worth.
They also give a part of their proceeds to charity as well. What I'll do is I will link
them down below so you can go and check them out and see if you can grab yourself something
in order to be able to remind yourself to be a high value woman, not a high maintenance woman.
Okay, number seven, if you are a high value woman, guess what? You bring something to
the table. You don't just sit back and expect everyone else to bring it for you.
A high value woman understands that she has a role to play. It means that she understands if
she wants to be able to set herself up to have an amazing marriage or an amazing relationship,
she can't just sit back and expects the guy to do everything. That's not how relationships
work. A high value woman has a team mindset mentality, whereas, a high maintenance woman
is someone who just demands, demands, demands, and expects and expects and expects without actually
doing her part in the relationship. Okay, number eight, you are somebody
who knows how to communicate your worth without necessarily downgrading others around you.
Women who have become high maintenance are women who feel they need to prove something
all the time, and usually at the expense of other people. And that's because there's actually either
a lot of ego there or a lot of insecurity. I believe that a high value woman is a woman who has
a spirit of humbleness in her, as well as wisdom. So she knows what to say and when to say it.
All right, number nine, a high value woman is a woman who knows how to take
feedback and understands that she isn't always right. I know ladies, but it's true. If you're
somebody who has turned into a high maintenance woman, meaning that you're a lot of work for
not much return basically in a relationship, then you are somebody who is constantly on
the defensive. You're somebody who believes that you have to be right. Maybe you have this
stubborn streak in you. You don't want to bend. You don't want to be flexible.
And that leads into this ego and self-entitlement again. Whereas a high value woman understand when
to apologize, why she should apologize, and is willing to be able to learn and grow as a person,
even if it does hurt a little bit along the way. And lastly, number 10, ladies, if you are a high
value woman, then you are a woman who knows how to honor the right man in your world.
We live in a time where I feel like we have so much toxic feminism, so much toxic masculism,
so much toxic love, and so many toxic standards in general that it's almost like we've become this
battle of the sexes, where we point the finger and say, "Well, it's his fault," or he points a
finger and says it's our fault. And we just end up fighting with each other. I believe that a
high value woman understands, again, that men have incredible value and that there is nothing wrong
with honoring that man in your life, whether it's your father, your brother, your work colleague,
all the men that you are married to or dating. A high value woman isn't afraid to do it publicly.
She isn't afraid to stand up for her man. She isn't afraid to give him praise. If you're a
high maintenance woman, chances are you're going to be very critical. You're going to be putting
the man down in your world, maybe even through the little jokes that you make. Either way,
it's not okay. A high value woman is a woman that actually makes a man feel good about himself,
makes him feel uplifted, makes him feel loved, needed, and wanted. And you know what? In return,
he usually wants to do the same back to you if he's obviously the right sort of guy. And
that's what a really good relationship is about. A really healthy, loving, high value relationship
is where two people are able to honor each other openly and lovingly because they understand that
that is how a relationship is meant to function. Well, ladies, let me know below, do you believe
that you've gone a little bit more high maintenance or do you think that you
are a high value woman? And I hope that it is the high value one. Anyway, don't forget to subscribe
and give me a thumbs up. And if this has helped you, drop a thanks Renee down below. I will link
the merchandise that I am wearing down below that's if you want to go and grab yourself a
t-shirt or a mug or something really cool. And I think I even have a code. So if I have a code,
I'll put it down below as well for you, ladies, so that you can get a little bit of a discount.
All right, until next time, have an amazing rest of the week, and I'll see you soon. Bye for now