- Hi, I'm Lauren Ash.
- And I'm Ben Feldman.
- And this is, Getting to Know.
- Getting to Know.
- Thought we were gonna do that in tandem.
- I'm sorry, you did it so quickly,
I didn't know that was gonna happen.
- Do you wanna take it again? - Let's try it again.
- Hi, I'm Lauren Ash.
- And I'm Lauren Ash.
- That's not, - Okay.
- This is not, - One more time.
I got this, I got this. Go!
- [Together] Hi--
- I'm Lauren Feldman.
- You wish.
- You do it.
- You wish I was.
- Ben Feldman? - Yes.
- When you were a teenager, what was the worst thing
you did to get grounded?
- I never really got grounded,
I threw a lot of parties at home.
- Can I tell a personal story about you?
- Sure, as long as it's tremendously embarrassing
and will hurt me.
- I thought he was going to tell the story
about when you used your mom, I think, credit card
to order a Playboy subscription.
- No, no, no, no, no, my mother sent it to me
at camp, I was never grounded for that
because the porn I got was from my mother.
- Wow, I mean, what we're learning about the level of--
- It was anarchy growing up.
- Would you like me to answer this question now?
- Uh, no, I'm pretty good just talking about myself.
Do you have another question for me?
- Yeah that makes sense.
- Uh, Lauren, I've been meaning to
ask you this for a long time.
- I'm sure you have.
- What would be in your web history
that you'd be embarrassed if someone saw?
Shopping, guilty pleasures, odd fashion, etc?
- This is a very benign--
- It's interesting because there's a real,
glaringly obvious category of things in here
that is omitted from the back of this card.
- Yeah, absolutely, which was of course
what first came to my mind. - Yeah, nun porn.
- (laughs) That's of course, your favorite flavor.
- That's the background on my computer.
- It is. It is. - Yes.
- What would be the most embarrassing?
I mean, other than like, Googling yourself,
which is like horrifying?
I mean, that's pretty embarrassing.
- I'm constantly terrified that at any moment,
I'm going to leave something up on my phone,
someone's gonna take my phone, open it, and see something.
So I just don't, I don't do anything, I don't live online.
I don't live my life, I don't do anything interesting.
- And yet, this is the man that,
literally your phone is glued to your hand.
- Yes! All the time, but really it's
just different pictures of me.
- Who's your first celebrity crush?
- The obvious ones.
It was Winnie Cooper, but it was also Topanga,
- Alyssa Milano? - No, not Alyssa Milano.
Topanga, and then Natalie Portman for a good long while.
- A good long while?
- That's when you're a Jewish young boy,
it's always Natalie Portman.
- Sure. - Yourself?
- Well, my first crush was from a Canadian television show
called "Today's Special," and there was a man
who would turn into a mannequin,
and that was my absolute first crush.
- When you were crushing, were you crushing on
the man or the mannequin part?
Like, when you imagined yourself with him was he motionless?
- Well, as a child, I wasn't imagining myself with him yet,
I was just like, "Why do I feel weird in my underwear?"
Then I later realized, it was like I--
- Which is the name of your memoir.
- "Why Do I Feel Weird in My Underwear,
The Lauren Ash Story," yeah.
- Dropping this Tuesday.
- But I will say the biggest one for me,
from a very young age, was David Duchovny, like very, very.
To the point, that I pray I never meet him.
- Lauren, what is your guilty pleasure?
- Oh, there's just so many, Teen Mom.
- Teen Mom?
- What about you, guiltiest pleasure?
- Candy, um--
- I think we both know the real one.
- Bank robbery? What's the, no, no no!
No more smoking with the child, just candy cigarettes.
Adah, ah, ah...
Alright, go ahead.
- What's your go-to song to sing in the shower?
- Usually, any song from "Hamilton."
Or other musical theater songs
that are actually embarrassing.
- My go-to shower song?
Probably like "Hurt" by Nine Inch Nails.
- Really? That is dark. - Of course not!
- (singing) I hurt myself...
- Of course not. - Oh, man.
- Johnny Cash version, obviously.
Yeah, no, "Hamilton" for me too.
- Sure, you feel kind of like a badass,
but you're still doing musical theater,
so it's a pu-pu platter of fun.
Lauren, what is the weirdest thing about you?
- The weirdest thing about me?
- And let's folks remember, Lauren,
and I am not kidding, dated a cannibal.
- Okay, pause! You can't keep spreading that fake news.
- It's not fake news.
- I went on one date with a cannibal, one date!
There is a very wide difference between dated and one date.
- [Ben] Alright, alright you dated though.
- But I will also say that he did reject me in the end.
- So the better line is,
Lauren was turned down by a cannibal.
- That is the better line.
- Lauren, I feel like I've gotten to know you quite a bit.
- You know, we've spent every day
together for like four years,
I do feel like I've gotten to know you better.
Which, you would think would make me feel
like I don't wanna crush you in this battle,
but it really has not affected that at all.
- I know, which is so sad, because we're gonna
go back and do these questions again,
and I'm gonna ask you the most embarrassing moment
of your life, and you're gonna say it was tonight.
- That's very clever, very clever.
- Thank you, you don't even need to say anything else,
because that's the sound bite America deserves.
- Oh boy!
- (laughs)
(upbeat horn music)