Hello everybody my name is Markiplier
and welcome to Cannibal Cafe (Dat 50's Music Playing)
Now if you remember The littlest penguin
this is a game made by the same guy
and probably features something
equally as fun....or disturbing
because it's called "Cannibal Cafe"
and that means you're making sushi out of Body Parts
and that's not good for anybody
What do you want?!
Oh god! Why am I playing this game?
I don't know, I have no idea
Well I'm guessing I can assume this-
Oh geez!
Oh, that's not right!
How did I make a turd out of all of that?
I'm pretty sure I got that right
Maybe I need to look up the recipes...
Oh Ear-Me-Out Roll
Raging Heart-On Roll
The Hitchhiker Roll
Ooh these are horrifying
The Who Nose Roll
Ahh
Two rice
That's what it
Fuck, Not that one
N-no Hang on
Oh he's gone damnit
Ah shit
I'm not good at this game
Which I think is a good thing
Considering I don't want to be good at making cannibal rolls
Two rice, one seaweed, one roe, one... tongue
Go for it
You better get that
Oh come on!
It was right there!
What a waste this is bullsh*t
Okay I'm only gonna-
Ooh! I can make an illuminati roll!
Okay... so...
Yeah...
I don't know why I'm excited about this but BAM!
You're gonna get what you deserve
And then you want Ear-Me-Out Rolls don't ya
I don't remember that one...
I have a bad feeling I'm gonna start memorizing these things
and then try to make them on my own...
and then maybe when I get home
*unintelligible mumbling about murderous actions*
Rice, two seaweed, one roe, one ear
BAM! Ugh...
Why is this normal?!
Oh! The Raging Heart-On Roll
Good!
Great...
*unintelligible crying sounds*
Oh boy! Another Illuminati Roll!
My favorite!
Can't this go any faster!
I have no idea...
I'm not gonna get yours
The Ear-Me-Out one, I'm not gonna ear you out
Oh boy the Raging Heart-On
Boink boink boink boink... boink
I need more rice!
This actually seems like
Haven't I played a
Haven't I played a game like this before?
I'm not 100% sure but I think I have
Oh boy that's the complicated one, hang on
Okay...
I See You Roll
ugh...
Okay uhh... two fingers and one eye... okay
Rice rice rice, roe roe, two fingers, one eye
Wabam!
And then the nose roll!
I don't know if this is going to get down to you
Put back the knife
I don't know what the knife is gonna do!
Am I gonna cut it off of you?!
Can I cut you?
Can I get some more ingredients?
And why are there so many cannibals in this town?
Bam! I need more rice and seaweed
Thank you
Oh boy, 1 2 3, 1 2
1 2, 1
Bam!
Illuminati Roll Bam!
Comin' up! I'm-
I'm surprisingly doing pretty good at this
I'm memorizing the rolls!
Which is kinda...
AMAZING if you ask me...
Okay that was
Uhh... Bam! Got it, got it, got it
I'm so rich
This is going so well for me
I feel so proud!
I hope my parents watch this and see what I'm do- *voice crack* ing
Okay you need the Raging Heart-On
You also need a Raging Heart-On
I got you covered
If there's one thing Markiplier's got excess of
It's Raging Heart-Ons
Okay I'm not gonna get to you
Oh the tongue one!
Haven't seen that in a while
ugh...
uuugh!
And they're all staring at me
I just noticed that
The patronage here is a little...
A little disconcerting
What was that again?
What does that mean?!
That doesn't sound good...
Ah shit
Uhh... shit... uhh
Fuck
Yes, you got it!
Alright!
We're almost closed
Too late, we're closed!
Hitchhike your way on out of here, buddy!
Unless I gotta do it before he goes away
You got my last of stuff
Aww!
Well...
Great
Ooh
Knife tricks?
I don't wanna do knife tricks
I'll cut off parts of my own body
and then put 'em in the rolls
I don't think anybody wants that
Why am I playing this game?
Oh boy...
Earn ten thousand total
Who would play this to get ten thousand?
Eh, ugh, tongue roll...
You got it buddy
I don't know what the knife tricks do
Huah, HUAH!
HE-AW!
I don't, I don't know, I don't know how to-
Oh god damn that was his tongue roll!
Stop being a greedy gus
Forgot it already
Cause I'm trying to wipe all this from my me-
Man, so many people with the tongue rolls
Stop it
Raging Heart-On
Got it
Nailin' it, nailin' it, nailin-
Aw that guy ran away because everyone kept stealin' his rolls!
The I See You, okay
I need more rice
Eh
Eh, eh EH!
Oh god
Su-
I'm gettin' good, ya know
I- I can't deny
Oh geez, another I See You Roll
Here we go
Nailed it! Bam!
Oh boy
Guess we'll load up-
OH MAN, ALL MY MONEY!!!
Well I didn't want to spend all of my money!
Am I not supposed to fill things up before they run out?!
Ah shhhh*t
There goes all my money :(
God damnit!
I thought I was doing good
Ah geez
The tongue one...
Ah god damnit I f***ed up the tongue
Oh that's right it was...
...complicated
Sorry 'bout the turd on the way down there
Hope you all don't mind
and I'm sure you don't
WAH!!!
Knife tricks!
Bam. Did it. Knife tricks.
Knife tricks ahoy
*turd noise*
Ah come on!
God damnit I'm getting all
Ugh... getting all cocked up
What was it?
Ah f***ing
F***ING
Ear me out, EAR ME OUT!
*unintelligible markimoo sounds*
Ah it's too late
Alright sh*t
God damnit
I am
NOT GOOD AT THIS GAME!
I'm not good!
I don't even know how to do a knife trick...
but I made 58 perfect rolls???
Geez...
I'm gonna give this one more go
and that's all I'm gonna do
because I don't know how much I can tolerate here...
Alright, this one's gonna be it
Okay
Ear Me Out
I know that one
I know that!
Hitchhiker! I know that!
Duh, duh, duh, duh
Thumb.
Eh, eh, eh, eh, NO
Opposite of that!
Eh, can't forget the money!
Ear Me Out
Aw, f*** I just did it!
Man my brain is working in overdrive
God, stop staring at me, dude!
Stop it, ya freaky f***!
Why is it over there?!
I pu- I put that over there!
Dangit, okay. The Hitchhiker...
K.
What the f*** with the Ear Me Out!
Okay, Illuminati
Simple
Eat, eat
DON'T YOU LEAVE!!!
That's right, you better stay right put
Give me something hard
Don't go away!
Don't you dare!
*turd noise*
NO! Not that!
I don't wanna make POOP!
How am I makin' poop out of all of this?
What, am I eating it?
Geez...
Boy, I...
I can't wait to put these incredible skills on my resume
so that everyone can know
the amazing things I can do with the human body...
And not in that way...
At all...
N-Not in that way. Not, not like that...
But the Raging Heart-On!
The Raging Heart-On!
Give me my money, give me my money
Give me my MONEY!
*turd noise*
Whatttt?!
God damnit, I'm so STUPID!
*burps* I can't remember anything!
*turd noise*
WHAT IN THE F***!!!
UGHHHH!!!!
Piss, it's the opposite, god
Why am I so STUPID?!
Yes! I remembered the Ear Me Out!
Yeah! We're making progress
That's good right, I'm happy about that
Illuminati comin' up!
Oh boy!
Man... oh
I j-, I ju-, Ya know, I kinda wonder
Like, you wonder from a societal standpoint
What in the hell happened
in this universe that
THIS is where are in society
Like,
This is kind of...
the NORM here
Why are th-, cause these people
they aren't concerned! They're a little freaky
but, they don't seem to be too concerned about anything
And I still don't know how to do a god damn knife trick
Alright I'm gonna figure that out, I'm gonna figure out the knife trick
Music? Ah f***
I don't know...
What am I doing?
Stabbin' him in the face?
Oh geez, oh geez
Did it! Knife trick!
Knifed it up!
Oh, what?
What?
No. that's not, NO!
That's not where that went!
Oh f***ing cock
What? Where's my money?
Why can't I order more?
I got no money
What I gotta make money to get money?
That's bullsh*t
So, like, in the begi-
In the beginning of the game I don't even have
the money that I had before...
That's a bunch of bologna
*Breath* ohhh you know what?
I'm gonna- you know what I'm gonna do
I'm gonna - I'm gonna just
take a moral stance on this game.
I'm gonna take- I'm gonna
I'm gonna REFUSE service from now on
because I suddenly realized
that I was either murdering people in the back,
or I was letting people murder other people just so I could BUY their BODY PARTS!
I dunno who's on the other side of this phone here,
but it CAN'T be good.
There is NO GOOD to come out of THAT PHONE
right there!
and ALL YOU ASSHOLES
can go hungry, dangit!
Go eat some
Vegetables!
WHY DON'T YOU JUST TURN AND EAT EACH OTHER
IF YOU'RE SO DESPERATE FOR CANNIBALISM!!
They're all just giving me the-
Oh, they're all givin' me the stinkeye
I think it's like a zombie horde at the end of this game
When you're done, and no one's satisfied
and everyone's clawing at your door
you're trying to close it and they're struggling to get in like...
BRAINS!!
STAY BACK!! STAY BACK!!
WE GOT NO MORE FOOD!
We're all out!
You want- you want sh*t rolls?
I've got nothing but sh*t rolls
How bout nothing but eyeball nose?!
Heh- wait.... *realization*
blehhhh *laughs uncontrollably*
*Continuing to laugh*
Nyeh Nyeh nyehh
Nyeh
Nyeh!
*more weird noises*
Aha!
It's kind of a person!
It's like a- it's like in Full Metal Alchemist
just all the ingredients you need to make another human being
so just - turn that into something, and I'm sure everything will go wonderful
*tap* *tap* *tap* *tap* you want it? you want it?
anybody want it?!
i'm trying to knife trick it (dont try this at home kids)
trying to
Well sh*t we're all out of stock
*Depressing music*
OH NOOOO!!!!!!
Di-
Thanks for that, that really is encouraging
but you know what i don't feel too bad
So that was was Cannibal Cafe
Holy Sh*t!!!
Well that was an interesting experience
But still it's, it's like any other sushi game that you ever played except
with a horrifying, horrible twist
and I'd like to know more about this universe
that we're in where this is the norm
but either way that's the game
so thank you everybody so much for watching
And as always I will see you
in the next video..... BUH BYEEE!!!!!!
*amazing outro music*