(light orchestral music)
- So we'll take a tour. - Oh!
(mumbling)
- Can we give her my-- - Same as like before, right?
- [Woman] Yeah, it's kinda the way the hem is used.
- Yeah, resilience.
(talking over each other)
But it comes back to that same status quo,
but anti-fragile is, like, it's like my scars.
(somber music)
My spirit I think is like,
it was broken, but now it's back
and it's not the same, but in fact I think it's stronger
because it's let those instances rebuild and reinforce
but create something new.
- [Interviewer] Can you give us your name
and just how you describe yourself?
- Oh, um (laughs).
I guess the name part, Hillary Allen.
How I describe myself.
I think I usually describe myself
as a pretty big science nerd.
Science is just so cool 'cause it just makes you curious
about just the entire world.
Okay, so besides, you know, running a lot (laughs),
but I also teach chemistry and physiology and anatomy
at a small college.
(playful music)
And I just happened to discover running.
It was just this moment where I remember just clicked
and I just felt like at peace
and just, like it was really me.
- Oh, you got it! - Oh, you had him!
- Actually, that's like the real reason I run,
so I can like explore the bugs
in different countries or places.
Yeah, it's amazing.
Back in August, August what, 2017,
I was at the final race of my kinda world tour
like Ultra Running Skyrunning Series,
and I was in Tromso, Norway
which is super far north in Norway.
It's in the Arctic Circle.
Basically, there was some rock fall.
Some rocks gave way underneath my foot
and I fell in total 150 feet.
You know, fell 20 feet, bounced,
fell 20 feet again, bounced.
I definitely remember, like,
accepting that I was gonna die.
It was a really weird narrative in my head
when I was falling.
It was almost like I was watching it happen.
When I finally realized that I wasn't dead
and that I was in the hospital like two days later
and my mother actually came.
Yeah, so, I mean, it was really intense.
I mean, like, I had never broken a bone in my life
before this moment and I had broken 14 or 12 of them,
two of which were my back.
Like they were pretty serious injuries.
But I remember one of the doctors telling me
that I would never run again
and that was really intense to hear, like,
two weeks after my accident.
In many ways, I feel like I'm kind of starting
my recovery over again even though it's been nine months.
I just wanted to, like, curl up and die, but I didn't.
I chose actively to not do that.
But that can get really exhausting.
(light music)
I felt like I lost this part of me
that was, like, strong and, like,
it was something that I could like be proud of
and then to not have that anymore,
I had to kind of know that I possessed
these other attributes that would allow me
to kind of get back to that point
but in an even more fulfilling way.
Strength is not what I thought it was.
My point is is it's not so one dimensional.
It's not so simple.
And I think I fell victim to that, too.
It's like defining myself in one aspect.
It's too narrow.
I remember the first time I got on the trails again
and I kinda was like doing jogging and like running,
I was just like, oh my gosh, like, this is amazing.
Like this is why I love to do this.
Like it doesn't matter if I'm gonna return
to racing or competing.
I'm afraid that I'll be defined by what happened.
I think many people didn't expect me to come this far.
I mean, heck, the doctors definitely didn't.
(inspirational music)
Right, that's literally being vulnerable
and choosing to kind of, all right, I feel this way,
but I'm still gonna keep going.
And I think that that's strong.
Hello.
Check me out!
(giggling)
Okay, that's good.
(light music)