Why doesn't your ex ever apologize after they hurt you?
After they do things to disrespect you after they do things to stir up your emotions or
to rub salt in the wound?
Why is this?
Let's go ahead and talk about that in this video cuz I think this is gonna be incredibly
insightful and equip you to handle this sort of situation to create a stronger emotional
connection with them.
So watch through all the way to the end because we're going to help you through this whole
process.
Hey there, it's Clay with modernlove.life.
On in this channel we talk about how to save your relationship through focusing in on things
that we've talked about in other videos, such as emotional connection such as your X's five
stages of understanding where they're at emotionally and also how to save your relationship without
using the no contact rule.
So today we're gonna be talking about the reasons why your ex doesn't apologize and
how to understand the nature of the problem.
And in order to do this, you have to really understand that where they're at when they
have a good interaction with you is that they enjoy it for sure, they do enjoy the the interaction
in the moment, but when they do fall out of that moment, as we often do, as all of us
do from time to time, they start to get a sense about what's coming on the horizon.
So what is coming on the horizon?
The more positive interactions they have with you, the more they start to see this possibility
out there on the horizon, getting closer and closer and closer and closer to them.
What is this?
That's the possibility that the two of you might get back together again, that is them
wondering where is this going?
That was a fun time.
Uh, maybe I made the wrong choice.
Should we get back together again?
Do you want us to get back together again?
Maybe you think that I want to get back together with you.
Am I sending the wrong message?
I don't know, I'm confused.
And when they start thinking about, um, getting back together with you, when they start thinking
about giving the relationship another chance and they're in this place where they're not
emotionally equipped enough to make a decision about getting back together again, that is
when they start to shut down.
That is when they start to, um, try to do things to agitate the situation a little bit
more because they want to create more space.
If there's this decision out here that's getting closer and closer and closer to them and they
don't feel ready for it, what they're gonna try to do is they're gonna try to push that
decision back.
They're gonna try to push it back so that they have more breathing room because they
think, Hey, if I have more time, if I have more space, if I have more, um, you know,
time to process all of this, then I'll feel more equipped.
So what does this mean?
Does that mean you need to give them more time and space?
Does that mean that you need to do the no contact rule or something ?
Of course not.
You don't need to do the no contact rule.
Most people don't need to use no contact.
But you do have to understand that they are concerned about this, especially in the perception
that you're going to have about all of this.
That is to say they're worried that if they enjoy the connection between the two of you
too much, that if they give you an inch, you're gonna take a mile and start to assume that
hey, we're gonna get back together and all of that.
And again, it's not that they're necessarily opposed to this is just they're not emotionally
equipped to make this decision yet.
That's to say they don't want to give you false hope to fuel an ulterior motive that
they think that you have about all of this.
They don't want to give you false hope because they don't actually know what they want themselves
yet.
So what you actually want to do here is you want to reduce the romantic pressure between
the two of you so that they can give themselves more and more permission to interact with
you more and more permission to spend time with you.
Basically, you want to allow them to get close to you emotionally in a stealth kind of way
where they don't necessarily even notice or sense that that thing on the horizon is starting
to get closer and closer to them until they are emotionally prepared and equipped enough
to make that choice.
So you want to sort of go under the radar by dropping that romantic pressure.
And also you want to open up communication with them by having a same team talk and getting
on the same team with them.
If they're trying to deal with this all on their on their own and trying to deal with
this all within themselves, they're gonna say, Hey, I don't know what I want.
Should we get back together?
I don't know, this is hard.
I don't know what I should do.
I'm on this all on my on my own and all that sort of stuff.
But we can start to open up the connection, open up the communication between the two
of us.
Now they can talk to you about their hesitations.
Now they can talk to you about their concerns, about their fears, about all the things that
they're worried about.
And rather than them pulling back or them shutting down or them doing whatever it is
that they might do, now you can open up that communication and talk them through it.
And as you do this, you're demonstrating that you're on the same team.
And as you do this, you're allowing them to stealth fully, get closer and closer to that
decision point on the horizon where they're going to have to make a decision, but they're
going to feel more confident about this because you're building up that connection along the
way.
Next up, what is really important for you to do is to learn how to connect with them
on that emotional level.
If you wanna learn how to connect with your ex on an emotional level, please check out
this video right over here on how to connect emotionally with your ex after a breakup.
With that being said, I'll see you in that video.
It's gonna be incredibly insightful.
So I can't wait to go through that with you.
Take care and I'll see you over.