- Seeing the videos that people posted, inspired me.
Because I still have insecurities.
You know, I still doubt myself.
I still feel like shit some days,
and that's just the truth of it all.
And seeing all these beautiful women,
like, show their bodies off and feel so confident
and seeing people show off their art.
Even, like, the disabled community
that dances to it, you know?
Female athletes, Olympians,
lots of women showed their journey of motherhood
which was incredibly beautiful.
And it was really awesome to see something
that was born from my hardships turn into that.
This song came about during
the most hungry time period of my life.
I was working two jobs doing
the complete starving (chuckles) artist in Hollywood Grind
and just playing shows whenever I had the chance,
rehearsing with my band,
writing music, scrounging money together
to get in the studio.
The song was actually born from a dream.
And then I started saying these mantras
to myself every morning,
like, you know, "I'm woman, I'm fearless,
I'm feminine, I'm masculine."
I really just picked qualities
that I think are unique about me.
I was in rehearsal one day with my band
and my guitar player,
a couple of my guitar players were playing
a really, really sick groove.
And I kinda just started singing these mantras
to what they were playing.
And I was like, "Oh, shit, that's really sick."
And so I went home,
I just found a random beat on YouTube
and started singing it to kinda practice
for what I might do in the studio.
Recorded it, posted it to TikTok.
I was like, "Hey, this is a really cool message.
Like, whoever needs to hear it, will hear it."
And I woke up the next day
and my life was flipped upside down, so. (laughs)
Honestly, the meaning of this verse
is me attempting to actually believe these things
in my day to day life.
The "I'm electric, I'm bass,
I'm the beat of my own drum"
is kind of a metaphor for I am everything I wanna be.
I'm this, I'm an artist,
but I can also paint.
I like to dance.
I like to do this.
I can do anything that I wanna be,
and I live my life that way.
I'm the beat of my own drum.
The "I'm cherry, I'm lemon,
I'm the sweetest key lime pie"
I just think that's kind of a metaphor for my heart
'cause I feel like, I'm really kind
or I try to be really, really kind to everybody
so that I just liked the imagery of that.
I've only ever wanted to do music my entire life.
And I felt like growing up,
sometimes I was very underappreciated.
I used to blame that on other people
until I realized that that was a "me" thing
that I had to fix.
That if I really wanted to be the voice of the future,
and if I really wanted to say this stuff through my music,
I had to do it myself.
Nobody was gonna give me the
"Okay, you can,
I give you my permission to go now."
No, you just have to go.
And I think a big part of that
is learning how to speak kindly to yourself.
Learning not to tear yourself down,
learning not to say bad things about yourself
even if it's just like,
"Oh, I look bad there."
Or, "Oh, I don't like that.
I don't like this about myself."
It adds up, you know?
And you have to believe in yourself.
You have to speak to yourself kindly
in order to speak those kind words to other people.
So the reason I chose the qualities
that I chose are honestly,
just things that are unique about me
that I wanted to appreciate more.
I really did struggle with standing up for myself
and appreciating the amount of hard work that I put in
and the really cool stuff that I was doing
which is kinda where the fearless lyric was born.
I think that anybody who is strong enough
to break the status quo
and pursue a career in the arts
in any way shape or form has gotta have some guts.
'Cause it's not easy.
I'm creative, simple as that.
I feel like I'm genuinely one
of the most creative people (chuckles) I know.
And I think that should be celebrated.
Creativity is a gift.
The feminine, masculine lyric,
growing up, I struggled a lot with PCOS.
And so, there was a really bad imbalance in my body.
And genuinely, I feel like,
my personality is a little bit masculine.
I'm obviously very feminine presenting,
but my personality is kinda more on
the masculine side sometimes.
I used to feel really insecure about that.
And I used to wear, like, my dad's clothes to school
and people would ask me like,
"Why you wearing boy clothes?"
And I'm like, "Guys, clothes have no gender.
You can wear whatever you want."
I wanted to celebrate the fact
that I do have that duality inside me
and that it's cool to be feminine and masculine.
And it doesn't take away from your femininity
or take away from your masculinity to be one or the other.
I used to struggle so much
with just letting people walk on me
and treat me poorly,
until I decided that that's not
how I wanted to live my life.
And I don't have the room or time or patience
to let that negative energy,
hence, the hear no evil, speak no evil.
I don't wanna let that energy in my life.
And I genuinely think that if you move peacefully
and you treat people well,
you aren't the one to cross,
because karma's always on your side.
I do feel that I'm very grounded
and I'm never gonna lose that.
That's something that I really value
is staying the person that you are no matter what.
No matter how far you go,
you gotta remember your roots.
And I just love nature,
so that's (chuckles) kinda where the earthly line came from.
And the "I am heaven" line,
I'm sure a lot of artists can say this,
but I feel like sometimes when I'm writing music
I just kind of black out.
Whether it be just like the spirit of music
or whatever you believe,
it just kinda takes over
and says "This is what you're saying now."
It's otherworldly.
You know, it's not a "here" thing
it's an "up there" thing.
Anything that's worth having is born from hard work.
It was really hard sometimes.
And of course, I had doubts.
There were lots of nights where I would just lay awake
at like, three in the morning
and stare at the ceiling and be like,
"Gosh, should I finish college?" (laughs)