And then w uh, California that we're going to,
and we're going to Chris and California. Hi, Chris, are you there?
Hey.
There. How are you today, Chris?
Um, I'm doing well, thank you so much for taking my phone call. You're.
Very welcome.
Well, um, I have been following you guys for quite some time, uh,
months now, YouTube videos, and, uh, and I've called, uh,
in before and, uh, listen to, uh, this, uh, live broadcast.
And so I just, uh,
my heart goes out to everybody who calls in and, um,
and you guys are amazing, so appreciate what you do. Um,
so to get to the, uh, the point here, why I'm calling is because,
um, my wife and I are basically at the end of our rope here. Um,
we've been married for 11 years next Thursday,
and she can believe this next week, um,
on her birthday, which happens to be the day before our anniversary.
We have a court date on her birthday. So,
um, interesting timing. Uh, and I will be, I think, uh,
probably the end because, uh,
I don't know if it's going to be mediation at that point or in front of the
judge, but yeah, I mean, we're,
we're literally toward the end of our six months. Uh.
And is your wife divorcing you, or are you divorcing your wife?
Uh, she's wanting to divorce me. Um, she's in,
unfortunately in an adulterous affair relationship,
she living with this other man who's been living with him. Uh,
I wanna say since April, so, um, and I've been,
you know, I've been fighting, trying to reason with her and, uh,
you know, praying a lot and going to several counselors,
reading your guys's video, watching guys's videos. Um, you know,
I've been doing quite a bit, um, some could say too much, um, you know,
you don't want with desperate of course, and I totally get about the pies.
That's excellent advice. Um, so,
you know, it's, uh,
it's not looking good as one of the counselors would say to me,
not looking good, but, uh, I still have faith. Uh,
I am a Christian and I believe that God can kind of work miracles and
sometimes his timing is not our timing. Right. And I think the story of my life,
a lot of things in life is there's turnarounds at the very end.
I don't know why it happens to me often, but anyway,
so I don't know if this is another turnaround at the very bitter end, but, um,
I just, I just am hoping and praying that she'll come around and.
Relationship.
With him for almost a, since last summer.
So that's how long it's been going on this other fellow?
Did I hear that correctly? It's been a year over a year.
Uh, it's been well since last summer that she's been involved with it. Yeah. So,
okay.
Oh, over a year and lived with him for several months. Now, first of all,
my friend,
I admire the fact that you love your wife as way that you do and that you have
are trying so diligently to try to put this together.
I don't hear any panic here and that's good people who can be calm are people
who typically do the better things.
I appreciate the fact that you have examined and researched and tried to find
all the things that you can. Um, you say that a point there's,
some people might think you've done it too much. I don't know.
I think only you've done it too much when it leads you to do things that are
desperate and clingy and pressuring and those kinds of things,
but it doesn't sound to me like you've been doing those kinds of things in your
prayers. If I may ask, what do you pray?
So I pray for reconciliation. Um,
I pray for restored marriage. Um, you know,
I was a Virgin when we got married. And so she, you know, I've,
I've basically given everything to her and, you know,
I've been married for 11 years this year. And, uh, you know, I just,
I just love her to pieces and it just breaks my heart that we're
at this point,
and I know that miscommunication can happen and you can get upset and
not mind you, um, before we got married, uh,
she had sort of a fling with someone when we were dating.
So I guess technically it was the second time that she's been unfaithful in our
relationship, but we're talking like nine years apart. Um,
but.
I'm so sorry, my friend, I hear the pain in your heart and in your voice.
And I heard for you a couple of things if I may in your prayer life.
And if you don't think this is valid and certainly don't do it,
but in your prayer life, uh, one of my friends, he's an expert on prayer.
She's written several books about prayer and she was a prayer warrior.
She said sometimes the best thing to do in her opinion is to pray the other
person into the big Ben.
And she was referring to course of the story of the prodigal son and Linda
gospel of Luke. That sometimes, sometimes it might make sense.
And particularly if you start liking it the way that some of the Psalms are
prayed, Lord, you know,
bring in whatever it needs to happen to bring this person. In this case,
it would be your wife to bring her to her spiritual census.
And I know that you don't want to cause her any pain. You love her,
but sometimes to pray, Lord bring about whatever situation you need to,
to bring her to her spiritual senses.
That might be something you want to add to your prayer. But again,
you must do that on your own.
The fact that you're going to have this meeting next week may mean that the
divorce is going to occur. And I know it may seem kind of hopeless in, well,
she's already living with a guy and if the divorce goes ahead and occurs, then,
then what is to keep her from marrying him.
And I just hope and pray that she doesn't. We have seen,
we have witnessed several times and Kimberly, you can attest to this.
We've had many occasions seen situations that seem so hopeless,
and yet somehow they've turned around. Uh,
I hope and pray that it happens for you.
If these things take place next week,
then continue to have the same level of calmness and faith that you have now.
And if, if God forbid she would have married the other guy, you know,
you said that often God has turned around things at the last minute for you.
But sometimes, sometimes there are blessings waiting just out there.
Now I hope your marriage gets back together.
We're not in the business of trying to help people in this marriage.
He gets to the next one. That's not what we do,
but by doing all the right things, I believe that you bring blessings.
I actually officiated a wedding of a celebrity couple of few years ago,
and to the audience, it was gathered there because I knew each of their stories.
Each of them had fought hard to try to save their first marriages. And I said,
the reason that you have found each other, and the reason that,
that you were able to put this marriage together is because you were so faithful
when your first spouses would not, would not be no,
I'm not trying to put your wife down. No misunderstand.
That's not my purpose here.
But to understand that that a person who continues in faith to do the right
things, we still hope and hold out,
hope that even if the divorce takes place,
that somehow that thing ends and that somehow she comes back to you and you put
this marriage back together. We pray for that.
But that if it doesn't that you don't know what kind of blessing
God has out there because of the faithfulness you have not, no,
that's not the message you want to hear. You want to hear.
I kind of put my marriage back together,
but I don't know what else to tell you other than what you're already doing,
or have done to do that,
unless it is to maybe change your prayer life a little bit,
and then to remain faithful. Even if it seems like the,
that the deal is over every everything is done to remain faithful,
to see what God won't do. Kimberly, what would you like to add to that?
If anything.
God is a God who redeems and it doesn't always look like we want it to,
or how we think it should or would, or any of those things,
but a hundred percent echo everything you say, and that
God turns it into good. Somehow, somewhere along the line, that's in Romans,
right?
Romans eight 28, Chris, our hearts are with you, my friend.
Is there anything else we can help you with right now?
Uh, appreciate everything you said. Um, I guess one thing would be,
what would you suggest? Um, just between she and I relationally,
uh, have invited her to go to church, uh,
recently in the last couple of weeks and she did agree and we did go,
it was amazing. And she hadn't been for months.
So I guess this kind of being, you know, or at very end here,
would you suggest that I maybe, you know, reach out like that again in some way?
I mean, what is it that I can do that left?
I don't, I don't think there's going to be a magic bullet. I really don't.
But what do you have to lose? Inviting her to go to church again?
And if she goes, you know, maybe the right thing is said,
maybe somehow God gets to know her again. And then everything changes.
I don't think it's ever bad around to invite somebody to go to church.
And now if she rejects, that's fine. I mean,
I know you're not going to push and demand, but, uh, right now my friend,
I would not look for the magic bullet. I would wait for the magic.
I would wait for the work of God, if that makes any sense to you at all.
So you're absolutely right. Sometimes it's really hard to.
Sure, sure. It is. Absolutely. Yeah. Hey, Chris,
I hope to get to meet you someday.
You sounded like a guy that I think I would really like to be around.
Oh, that's wonderful.
That's a really nice of you to say Merry Christmas to you and everybody
listening. And, uh, and, uh, while going through hard, hard times,
and I want to say Merry Christmas.
Same. Do you remember him? Take care?
My heart breaks for every one of our callers,
but sometimes it just breaks more for a particular color. And somehow, uh,
Chris touched me here. Um, we have a lot of videos.
I think it was Chris or several mentions of the vintage of the YouTubes and
feet, both on their YouTube videos, how.
YouTube, youtube.com/marriage helper. You can subscribe there,
be sure to subscribe because you will get notifications about all of the new
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We have new videos that go up on Tuesdays and on Thursdays.
And it's awesome content. If I do for myself,
at least Joe's is great.
Uh, Kimberly and I do most of the YouTube videos.
We do everything we can to teach and help there.
And also you can find a website, marriage, helper.com,
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