Alexa: 'Why wasn't the turkey hungry on Christmas?'
'Because he's already stuffed.'
Alexa's funnier than us
First of all,
what do you think about my new 2017 look?
I've got a game we can play - Go on
I'll name someone and you've gotta tell me if they died in 2016.
Okay.
No, I don't wanna play that game.
Tell me some of the questions that are on your 2017 brain.
Okay, I tweeted this one but I'm still confused
Okay.
There's North and South America
Yes.
Yeah?
Two different continents.
Still America
Canada is in N. America
No, it's not in North America, it's in Canada.
It's attached to- -NO
It's not!
And that's where the confusion comes
Do you know what the first YouTube video I watched in 2017 was?
It was Ally's music video 'Space'.
Was it? Was that your first one? - Yes it was, yeah
If you're friends with Ally Hills, don't borrow her stuff
It was a pencil
That's exactly right
That lady- -She got angry!
That nice lady asked for a nice 2B pencil
Yeah
Ally was like, 'look I don't draw, but you can borrow my 2B'
Ally gave her her whole palette of sketching pencils, right? - Yeah
The girl returned the whole palette - Yeah
One was missing.
What happens is, she watched her sleep for a while
Mm
And then killed her
Yeah.
Let me tell you how I got off to this year, like to start it - Okay
Okay
Okay - 'Kay
I searched desperately for a .gif that I couldn't find
Right
And it's when Tina in The L Word says
'I'VE GAINED SOME WEIGHT'
So how did Tina know
that they wouldn't just say 'Oh Bette, by the way,
Tina's baby's coming on, isn't it?'
That's what Helena Peabody did
Yeah, after like 9 months!
Our friend Rachel Shelley
Yeah -Our friend
What did she do?
DM'd me the other day. Slipped right into my DMs.
She always slips into your DMs. - I know she does.
She doesn't even follow me.
I want something. Like you know some people have a monocle
or like a pocket watch
or like one of those long Cruella De Vil, like, cigarettes
I want something.
A thing.
Okay! Okay!
I am going to know everything about Latin America. Everything.
Everything there is to know-
Ask me a question about Latin America and I will answer correctly.
Um, where is Latin America?
It's in either the N. or S. of America.
Its native tongue is not Latin.
Yeah, it's Spanish, right?
Correct.
Which I don't get because Spain's by England - And variations of Spanish
Such as Argentinian Spanish
And...
The other day, Rosie said to me 'Rose,
if in Latin America you pronounce double L as, like, a Y,
why isn't Jimmy Fallon called Jimmy Fayon?'
Or at least in Latin America, where aren't they like, 'oh,
have you seen Jimmy Fayon on TV?'
That's a really good question...
And it'd be like, instead of Helen, you'd be called Heyen
No, because Helen doesn't have double L
Yeah, it does, sometimes
No, it doesn't, ever.
Oh, I've been spelling it double L
And Lloyd would be Yoyd!
Oh my god.
Do you think that people at Santander pronounce it
'Yoyd's Bank'
Alexa: 'I can't find songs by Camila Cabel-lo'
You're clearly not from Latin America.
Alexa: 'Sorry, thanks for letting me know'
Sarcastic little bitch.
Okay Rosie, I'm gonna give you five compliments that you've never ever heard me speak
Look me in the eyes when you say them.
Okay.
I've noticed a significant reduction in your dandruff
in the last five years. - I've never had dandruff
Oh.
Everyone I've ever been with...
-Ohh
...has told me that I have an attractive looking vajaynus
Everyone you've ever been with - Yeah
That's probably the size of N. and S. America combined.
Alexa: 'The population of the United States is about 325 million'
Probably about right, yeah.
How long have we been together in 2019?
Seven years.
You're my longest ever relationship.
I think you're my longest ever relationship now
'Cause if I was with someone else this long, I'd still be with them.
Do you know what I'm saying?
I think I'm following
'Cause it'd be seven years.
Yeah
What? -What?
Alexa: 'Shuffling Latin American music'
*piano music plays*
This isn't what I expected
It's not what I expected either.
*typical Latin music plays*
Yes.
Do you reckon we're doing it wrong, 'cause we really shout at Alexa
SHE DESERVES IT!
She deserves it.
THIS IS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!
I know everything about Latin America, I've watched 'Chef'
Alexa, why did Camila leave Fifth Harmony?
Alexa: 'Hm...
I can't find the answer to the question I heard'
No one can.
♪ 'cause I know that any minute you'll be back to me ♪
♪ back, back, back to me ♪
What would you do if Jauregui sang that song to you and you were walking away from her?
I'd say 'JAUREGUI PAYS THE BILLS'
Yeah! Jauregui pays the bills!
*singing 'Back To Me' by Marian Hill feat. Lauren Jauregui, and 'Bad Things' by Machine Gun Kelly feat. Camila Cabello, over 'Work From Home' by Fifth Harmony*
*singing 'Back To Me' by Marian Hill feat. Lauren Jauregui, and 'Fake Love' by Drake, over 'Work From Home' by Fifth Harmony*
We out.