Hey there, this is Clay and today I want to start talking to you about some of the biggest
mistakes that people make with their ex when they're trying to get back together with their
ex and trying to save that relationship.
Now this is going to be a series of videos.
We're going to talk about some of the biggest mistakes that people make when trying to get
back together with their ex.
And I'm going to tell you how you can like avoid those mistakes and maybe explain to
you why those are the best moves that you should make.
Okay.
So, the first one is when people, you know, they'll promise their ex that they'll change
it.
Things are going to be different or they'll, you know, try and beg and plead with their
ex, uh, you know, hey, please give me another chance.
Um, you know, I, I promise I won't take you for granted this time.
Something like that.
And, you know, I think, I think pretty much everybody who has been through a breakup and
wanted to get back together with their ex has tried that, you know, we've been working
with people for a long time and even the most "alpha male" guys out there, if they want
their girlfriend back, they'll, they'll even usually try something like that.
So I think this is something that a lot of people have tried without very good results.
And who knows, maybe you've even gotten to the point where you realize that that's not
the best approach.
And here I'm going to explain to you why that is the case and what you should be doing instead.
So the first thing you need to know about why promising you've changed or begging and
pleading for another chance isn't going to work is because, first of all, you have to
understand that when someone breaks up with somebody else, there are two very powerful
emotions that are created.
You get the feeling of rejection, you get the feeling of loss, you get the feeling of
having love taken away from you.
It's obviously something I don't need to tell you about.
It's something I've been through myself and something that everyone on our team has been
through and you know, it's just something that we can absolutely relate to.
Is this something I can absolutely relate to?
Uh, you know, I've been there myself tossing and turning at night, unable to sleep, unable
to turn my thoughts off, unable to keep the phone out of my hand and trying to call my
ex and I want you to know that that's only half of the story when your ex broke up with
you, there was a second emotion that was also created, but this is in their hearts.
This is in the dumpers heart and this is a feeling of guilt.
So you feel a feeling of rejection and loss.
They have a feeling of guilt.
Okay?
And what happens is when you are constantly reaching out to them, uh, you know, begging
and pleading for them back or something like that, what you're really doing is you're agitating
that guilt.
You're making them feel even more guilty than they already feel you see, because when someone
breaks up with someone else that often causes a lot of pain for the dumpee, for you, you
don't need me to tell you this and your ex is probably well aware that you're in a lot
of emotional angst and emotional turmoil right now.
And they feel bad about that.
They feel bad about hurting you.
They really do.
I know it may seem hard to believe that they have any feelings at all because sometimes,
people's exes, they'll shut them out.
They won't talk to them.
They'll pretend that everything's great.
They'll try and move on.
They'll just jump right into a new relationship or something like that.
But I want you to know that they feel very guilty about that because nobody wants to
think that they're the kind of person that goes out and causes pain for other people.
Nobody wants to think of themselves as the bad person who goes out and hurts other people,
especially people who are close to them, like people that they were in a relationship with.
And whenever you call them, whenever you beg for forgiveness, what you're really doing
is you're agitating that guilt.
You're reminding them that yes, they are inflicting this pain on you, they are hurting you.
And sometimes if you do it really aggressively, you can guilt your ex into giving you another
shot.
But that's really not something that I would recommend with because it's not going to solve
the underlying problems, the underlying trust issues in your relationship.
And what usually happens.
What happened with me, especially the first time I tried this, was we actually did get
back together.
But a couple of months later we broke up again because, you know, things hadn't really changed.
She just got back together with me because she felt guilty for all the pain that she
put me through.
And it did not solve the reasons why she wanted to leave the relationship in the first place.
And eventually, those sort of overpowered the momentary "guilt attack" that brought
her back.
So I don't want you to think that the begging and pleading is going to work.
I think probably most people have already come to that conclusion, but if you haven't,
I want you to know that it's not going to get you where you want to go.
What you want to do instead is really cultivate some relational skills so that you can get
through to your ex and have a deep emotional connection with them so you can get past that
feeling of guilt so that you can connect with them emotionally, help them feel understood,
help them feel heard, and connect with them on a deep emotional level rather than triggering
that guilt.
So that again, you know, you want your interactions with your ex to feel good because once thing
start to feel good between the two of you, they'll want to spend more time with you and
eventually they may start to consider getting back together with you.
So, you want things to feel good and one of the best ways to do that is to learn some
of the relational skills, emotionally connecting together with your ex, and having a great
and deep impact with them.
And this is absolutely something that we teach you inside of our course, the Ex Solution
Program.
It takes people directly from the beginning, whether they got dumped yesterday or recently
or maybe they've been struggling with this breakup for awhile, you know, weeks, months,
sometimes, even years.
And, um, it, it helps take you through a proven plan by mastering these relational skills
that help you have a deep, a significant impact and emotional connection with your ex.
So they actually want to get back together with you.
No deception, no manipulation or anything like that.
If you'd like to learn more about these relational skills and how the Ex Solution Program might
help you, just go ahead and check out ExSolutionProgram.com.
There should be a button below this video.
You can go ahead and click on that button and if this sounds like something that would
benefit you and your situation, if it sounds like you'd be a good fit for you, I'd really
like to encourage you to sign up over at ExSolutionProgram.com.
But no matter what you do, I just really want to let you know and impart on you that begging
for your forgiveness, begging for them to take you back, promising you've changed, promising
things will be different.
It's not going to help you get the relationship you want, it's not going to help fix the relationship
that you want.
And again, we would like to help you, uh, were in the relational skills that actually
will have that impact.
So please go ahead and check out the link down below and that'll take you to the Ex
Solution Program where you can read more about it.
And if it sounds like a good fit for you, you can sign up there.
So again, this is Clay and tomorrow we're going to talk about the second mistake that
people make.
So take care.