so the way I see it is that if we could take things that are happening in the
YouTube community or pop culture and take some valuable lessons away from
them I think you and I had a pretty valuable use of our time what is up
everybody this is Chris from the rewired so where we talk about the problem but
focus on the solution if you're new to my channel I do just what I said in the
intro I try to take topics that are happening in the YouTube community and
not just do commentary but actually see what lessons we can learn from them so
if the end of that stuff make sure you subscribe and bring that notification
bell so yeah I did want to do this kind of follow-up video I want to break these
two videos about Animoto and Brad Souza the fake Justin Bieber
breaking up because he cheated because I think there are some other topics to
talk about because I know a lot of people out there are single or maybe
you're in a relationship and you could definitely relate to what tan is going
through so full disclaimer I'm not like a marriage and family therapist or a
relationship counselor or anything like that my credentials are I am just a guy
who has been in a lot of messed up relationships at 33 years old now so I
don't know I spent a lot of time getting a messed up relationship so I want to
share the lessons that I've learned because I could definitely relate to
what Tana mongeau went through in this Brad Sousa situation and I'm hoping some of
these things that I talked about might be able to help you as you're looking
for your next appointment or if you're in a relationship right now hey I'm just
gonna drop some suggestions take with them what you will alright so basically
a tennis video she was really upset she was really upset about the fact that she
gave so much to Brad right she talks about money she gave him she talked
about how she stopped hanging out with certain friends and everything like that
so like one thing I will touch on is like this isn't like to throw any shade
at Tana or anybody else who's been in this
situation like the most we can do is learn from our mistakes or learn from
not even mistakes just things that we've been through
right and I talked about that in my last video is that it seems like Tana gained
some knowledge from this right but anyways there are definitely some things
that we should all be looking at as potential red flags so this is something
that you really need to check yourself on this isn't really the other person's
fault it is more us right we fall so deeply in love with somebody so quickly
that we just want to give them everything like come like for some of us
it's like move in with us all these other things but sometimes it's our
attention or time and we give them everything and this is one of our own
personal red flags in my opinion that we need to really take a look at like am I
giving far too much is are my emotions like justified right and when I say
justified it's more of that we have these very extreme intense emotions some
of us do like very early on and this is something I've talked about in the past
when it comes to emotionally regular regulation like a lot of us like we
don't just feel like we feel you know what I mean I made a video about Pete
Davidson in borderline personality disorder but a lot of people were
talking about how they can relate to those emotions and to those feelings
where it's not like you just go on a first date or you start talking to
somebody like oh this is cool maybe we'll go out on a second date but we
fall very intensely and deeply with them so what's the solution to that the best
thing that we could do is just be more mindful that we're doing that you see
what I mean if we're giving too much too soon like something that Tana mongeau
talked about she didn't say it directly but I would imagine because I've I've
gone through it myself I've had friends go through it as well but what that
happens is is that we could develop trust issues right we start to have this
narrative created in our head that everybody's gonna hurt us if this person
we loved and gave everything to it can't hurt us right so Brene brown actually
has some great advice on this and she uses like this jelly bean analogy I
won't dive fully into but we give people just little bits of trust at a time and
that's how we discover like how much we're going to trust them because a lot
of us when we put these walls up we begin to isolate ourselves and
selves for people who really don't deserve it but we also need to walk into
different situations with caution based on our own past experiences the next red
flag is money right and I separated this from the the last one because like money
is a very very weird thing okay so like if if somebody were getting with is
financially dependent on us that's not a good thing that's not a good thing and I
often look at like I don't know celebrities big youtubers or people with
some kind of higher position where they have some kind of power I kind of look
at these and bike it would suck because you always got a wonder like are people
hanging out with them because of them or because of their their position or their
money right and that in my opinion gets a relationship off to a rough start is
when you're giving the person a lot of money and taking care of them
financially right so we don't know in the context of Tana and Brad but like I
think we all need to look at that you know like if somebody just starts dating
us and like they're financially dependent on us we have to really really
wonder about that you know what I mean but on the other hand - I've done this
before in the past like Tana it has about tens of thousands of dollars cuz I
ain't ballin like that but it's something that I have to check in with
because something I've talked about in previous videos it's something called
self seeking right we we believe we believe that we're being so giving so
self-sacrificing so nice so kind so generous all these other things but
we're actually doing it with an ulterior motive right we're doing this expecting
something in return and again no shade of Tana but just using this situation as
context it sets up certain expectations right because we feel the more that we
financially give another person the more loyal they should be you know what I
mean the more reliable they should be we the more likely it is if they're gonna
stay with us forever the more that they're gonna love us and care about us
so we're doing these things with an expectation now for my
what I found a lot of times is that I didn't even realize I was doing it you
know what I mean but I was giving so much in relationships to try to keep the
person there I thought that that was like an insurance policy right so I
would imagine and this is pure speculation I would imagine there's a
part of Tana who feels you know like I gave so much like there they shouldn't
have done that because of all these things I gave them or bought them or
whatever because especially in Tanis situation it came in to like followers
and subscribers and connections with people she knows in the industry and all
those other things so that's why I believe like when we get into
relationships there's certain things that need to stay separate like my
beautiful girlfriend of Tristan I we've been together for over two years and
everything like that but like it took a while for us to like move in and we
split things financially and we had discussions about this before we moved
in together and everything like that but I think it
sets us up for failure when we jump into a relationship when we sort of give give
giving right so the last thing I want to talk about the last red flag I want to
discuss is Tana mojo talks about how bright Sosa had some insecurities and I
don't know the details of it I don't know if she mentioned in like a live
stream or something like that I don't know if it was man or who it was but she
said because of Brad's insecurities in his request
she dropped certain friends and now that she's broken up with him she has friends
that are like oh my god tennis back right this is a huge red flag if you're
so dating somebody that doesn't want you hanging out with your friends like I've
had people I've dated in the past do this huge red flag huge huge alarms
going off like be warned be warned okay like for example for example um I had
like a lot of best of my best friends or men but I have very very good best
friends who are women as well like one of my best friends I've known her since
I was a teenager she's like a sister to me and there was one woman I dated like
in my 20s before I got sober and everything but she was extremely jealous
he smoothly jealous of my best friend even
though she was like a sister to me right and she like still is a sister to me but
that was a gigantic red flag you know what I mean so - so dropping people in
your life whether it's men women whoever you're hanging out with as long as like
as long as you're not like trying to like get with that person you're just
doing like the secret friendzone I'm just gonna be friends good do they like
me type of deal like you should really be cautious in my opinion about anybody
you get into a brand new relationship that wants you to start dropping friends
because here's a thing when we get so emotionally invested in somebody like
that honeymoon phase is real we can imagine spending the rest of our lives
with them and everything like that so in our mind it justifies dropping our
friends like oh I don't need my friends because this person's gonna be with me
forever and like I don't want anybody to be pessimistic out there but like I got
to a place where I got into sort of getting their relationships just like I
do not know what the future holds but based on you know my friends being there
for me for all these years it does not make sense and it's not fair to them
especially not fair to them to just drop them because a new person came into my
life so I would suggest if you have somebody that you're dating or starting
to date they like tries to tell you this or they're uncomfortable with you having
phones like have a good long discussion because this this is an issue and I'm
not going to dive too far into it but this can even be a red flag of potential
abuse okay I'm not saying that Brad Sosa or like abused Hanna anyway no I'm
saying this is a potential red flag because one of the signs of abuse is
isolating the person away from friends and/or family so something that we
really got to keep an eye out for all right so again my heart goes out to Tana
and I hope she's you know doing well and everything she's a strong strong young
woman so she's gonna kick butt and I know she's gonna get better but anyways
I hope you guys enjoyed this video I hope you got some insight and hopefully
you learned some things and if you like taste some of these suggestions if not
that's cool let me know down in the comments below have you go way too soon
and to a relationship too hard too deep and
done some of these things that we talked about and how did that work out let me
know down in the comments below alright anyways that's all I got if you like
this video please give it a thumbs up if you're new make sure you subscribe and
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right there alright thanks again so so much for watching I'll see you next time
you