Donald Trump is a big fan of Boris Johnson.
And when you look into it, it makes sense, right?
They were both born in New York City.
Both of them had famous cheating scandals.
Uh, they have similar political beliefs.
And... look at them.
I mean, look at them.
They look like they were separated at birth.
And I mean purposely,
like, separated at birth.
Like, the nurse was like, "These two humans should not be
"in the same place at the same time!
"Send one to England, send one to the U.S.,
and pray they never meet!"
Another thing that makes them similar
is that, for years, no one took either of them seriously.
And now, just like Trump,
Boris is poised to become the leader of his country.
Which used to be a cool job but, thanks to Brexit,
is about as desirable as being
Kanye West's social media manager, you know?
It's just like, "What? He said what? No, delete, delete!
Jesus was not wearing Yeezys on the cross! No!"
But who is the man many have dubbed
the Donald Trump of the UK?
Well, we thought why not get to know him
in another installment of If You Don't Know, Now You Know.
-♪ ♪ -(cheering and applause)
Meet Boris Johnson,
British politician
and stunt double for Jeff Daniels in Dumb and Dumber.
Now, many of you might be hearing about him
for the first time, but, in Britain,
he's a household name.
REPORTER: Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson
is the only British politician
known universally by a first name.
REPORTER 2: Boris. He began his career as a journalist.
Johnson spent eight years as mayor of London,
always willing to perform for the cameras.
REPORTER 3: Johnson struck political gold
when Britain hosted the 2012 Olympics.
He gained praise
for steering London smoothly through the event.
There were a few embarrassing moments for Johnson,
most notably when he got stuck on a zip wire.
(indistinct chatter)
Oh, man, that is so embarrassing.
Stuck on a zip line up there.
I guess, at the same time though,
it's probably good preparation for handling Brexit.
You know? Just like, "Oh, boy. How do I get out of this?
"Any ideas? Any ideas?
I thought it would be much easier."
So, Boris was the mayor of London
and a character who did things that made people laugh.
But, just like Trump,
he also gained a reputation for his trash talk.
Boris Johnson has refused to bow to calls from all sides
to apologize for saying women who wear face veils
look like bank robbers and letter boxes.
Johnson also blasted the president's decision
to move a bust of Winston Churchill from the Oval Office.
He called it... (reading):
REPORTER: He described Hillary Clinton as having
"dyed blonde hair, pouty lips,
"and a steely blue stare,
like a sadistic nurse in a mental hospital."
REPORTER 2: This on President Putin.
(reading):
Okay.
I honestly can't believe he said those things about Muslim women
and Hillary Clinton, but...
you do have to admit,
Vladimir Putin does look like Dobby.
I mean, he does.
You know? Looks like Dobby got a job at KPMG.
Like, look at him.
But, still, but, still, it's pretty ballsy
for Boris to make fun of someone
for looking like a Harry Potter character
when he looks like a midlife crisis Malfoy.
I mean... look at him.
Like, he looks like Malfoy got addicted to potions
and has been trying to sustain his habit ever since.
And despite his controversial quotes,
Boris has continued to rise in British politics.
In fact, after serving as London's mayor,
he joined Parliament and became a prominent voice
for one of the biggest blunders
in British political history, Brexit.
REPORTER: The Leave campaign, which says
Europe costs too much and controls too much,
has been led by former London Mayor Boris Johnson.
REPORTER 2: Boris Johnson believes he owns the victory.
Vote leave, my friends. Vote leave.
I believe that this Thursday
can be our country's Independence Day.
When you look at the EU now,
makes me think of some...
of some badly designed...
undergarment that is--
that has now become too tight in some places,
far too tight, far too constrictive,
and dangerously loose in-in other places.
(laughter)
What?
Forget Brexit. What's going on with this dude's underwear, man?
Like, did he forget to take off that zip line harness?
Is that what happened there?
It's almost like he was so distracted
by his uncomfortable underwear that it just, like,
snuck into his speech. He's like,
"My friends, Britain is like a-a wedgie
"being pulled deeper and deeper into the butt crack
"of the European Union and, you know,
"squeezing the testicles tight against my body,
"which was enjoyable at first but has become extremely,
"extremely uncomfortable ever since.
"Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm headed to the bathroom
to save the testes that I have remaining."
Now, here's what's crazy. Here's what's crazy.
Before the Brexit vote,
Boris lied to voters in Britain
about the benefits of leaving the EU.
And now that Theresa May has taken most
of the Brexit backlash,
he might get her job.
But he's part of the reason that she's losing it.
Huh? And you thought the patriarchy was dying, baby.
Huh? We need to throw a patriarchy parade.
I'll see you guys in Boston. Yeah!
So, that is Boris Kerfuffle Johnson,
the man who might soon be at the helm of Great Britain.
And I don't know if he'd be a good prime minister or not,
but I do know is that he definitely deserves
his own sitcom.
And that's why we made it.
(upbeat music playing)
♪ ♪
That is a big fish.
♪ ♪
Get me a ladder. Ow.
(music ends)
(British accent): Bloody brilliant.