2019 Desus & Mero, we only handle pressing issues.
We've had political candidates on our show.
We had AOC.
Talking about policy and--
We had Cory Booker, you know what I'm saying?
And now we get to the heart of the 2020 election.
Does spaghetti belong on the beach?
[RING OF A BELL]
Espaguetis
It is not es spaghetti.
Espaguetis--
OK.
--con platano.
Leave that pot!
Leave that pot! - Espaguetis--
- Leave that pot! - --con platano, OK?
All right.
I'm putting on--
I'm putting on my "Make Orchard Beach Great Again" hat.
You know what I'm saying?
Spaghetti does not belong in the sand!
This debate ends tonight!
OK?
Do not listen to these people.
They don't run hard to first base.
And they bring porcelain plates to the beach.
Get them out of here!
Because we're very delicate and refined people.
We bring fine China to the beach.
We're going to talk to real New Yorkers
and find out, is Orchard Beach the same place as Olive Garden?
Can you settle a debate we're having?
Is spaghetti a food to be in on the beach.
- No. - Thank you.
- Yo, stop it, B! - Thank you.
- Stop it! - No.
- Let me ask you something. - Yeah.
Are you Dominican?
- No. - Do you know any Dominicans?
Yes.
We bring spaghetti and platanos to the beach.
It's not right.
That's too heavy for the beach.
Right.
And then you get sand in the spaghetti.
- But then you relax. - Mm, right?
You got the tapa for the olla, my nigga.
And then it's too hot.
It's too hot for that.
This ain't Italy.
But you get-- and that's what the water is for.
You get the platanos and the spaghetti--
You going to cramp up. - --then you go swimming.
- That's why - You know what I'm saying?
Nah, you can't be--
You just chill.
You can't be eating no heavy spaghetti.
You don't go to Olive Garden and then go to the beach.
And when you gotta to use the bathroom,
where are you going to use the bathroom for?
No, that's what the ocean's for!
- Oh my gosh! - See!
And that's why you can't go in the water at Orchard Beach.
- It's natural! - No.
Can you settle a debate we're having.
Is spaghetti of food to be consumed on the beach?
Not just spaghetti, spaghetti con platanos.
No!
Thank you
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
Thank you!
Tell them they are living wrong.
Stop!
If you eating spaghetti on the beach, you living foul!
Stop defaming spaghetti and platanos!
OK, you will not get to the gates of heaven!
Espaguetis con platanos!
No!
- No. - No?
I'd rather have some mangú.
[ALL LAUGH]
It should be spaghetti straps.
That's the only thing--
There you go!
Eh, I like that.
Eh!
The [INAUDIBLE] we have.
Oh my God! - Oh, man.
Oh my God.
That's boss, you know what I'm saying?
The guy's a bomb, man.
Got a question for you.
We're doing a poll all day.
Does spaghetti belong at the beach?
Hell no!
Thank you.
Now, who got spaghetti at the beach.
Dominicans bring-- espaguetis con platanos.
See. I'm trying to tell him.
I love platanos everywhere.
But spaghetti is not a--
- It's not. - --not a beach thing.
It's not.
I mean, it stay hot all day.
You know what I'm saying?
Nah, they be bringing it like a--
Nah.
In a pot, with a top on the pot!
- Nah. - See, it's wild!
Where's the rice at?
Just bring the rice.
Just leave the platanos.
But the rice, you know what I'm saying, you sand in it
and shit like that.
But spaghetti, though, you good, though.
- You can't come and get-- - And give it some texture?
How you eating spaghetti and go in the water?
- Yeah. - Bro!
There's going to be marinara sauce in your mouth.
The shark's going to smell it.
You're making it hot for everybody.
You see the seagulls out here?
They wild. They wild.
These are Bronx seagulls.
- They going to roast you. - That's what it is, though.
You put the--
They're going to fly down and be like,
boy, you eating spaghetti?
Nah, man.
The seagulls are Dominican!
They be like, papi, let me get a plate, papi.
What's good?
I don't know.
I don't know, man, spaghetti don't belong at the beach, man.
Oh, you heard it.
Ian, say it directly to camera.
Spaghetti does not belong on the beach.
Spaghetti don't belong at the beach.
That's it. - Thank you.
- No, stop! - All right.
Dominicans, y'all living wrong! - I stand by my--
I stand by my statement.
Ian, thank you.
Can you answer a poll we are taking today on this beach.
We are--
First of all--
Listen, we are making everyone claro about this.
Before we ask this question Are you Dominican?
No.
You are.
Puerto Rican.
And you?
- Half-half. - Half-half?
Yeah.
OK.
All right, you have a shot with this.
What?
Does spaghetti belong on the beach?
Spaghetti con platanos.
Yes, that's possible.
That's what I'm talking about!
- Deal breaker. - That's what I'm talking about!
- Wait. - De lo mio over here!
Let us hear what Margaret has to say.
- No. - No, thank you.
Thank you, Margaret.
Spaghetti and platanos?
It's too hot for that!
It's like 90 degrees!
He's real, real Dominican.
You feel me?
The same pot that I took it off the stove on
is coming to the beach with me.
You're not going to even put in a Tupperware?
You know what I'm saying? It's cast iron.
That's your Sunday pot, and you bring it out to the beach?
To the beach!
You know what saying?
Y'all wiling
And I'm making [SPEAKING SPANISH]
and the shit when I get home.
It's popping!
- Oh, you Dominican Dominican? - For real!
He's Dominican Dominican, right?
You know what I'm saying?
Do you see socks?
No!
--go to the beach.
I don't want to start any problems between y'all.
We've been talking to people.
How do you guys feel about bringing
spaghetti to the beach?
Hold up!
What?
Not spaghetti like, yo, I'm going to come through
with spaghetti bolognese.
I'm talking about-- - Is there Spanish here?
Dominican spaghetti.
Espaguetis con platanos.
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
You have to.
Exactamente.
Excuse me?
I feel like you have it.
It's a little hot for that right?
That shit's going to--
Bomb!
It's a full meal, so you're good.
This ain't Olive Garden!
How do you bring to hospitaliano to the beach?
Nah, bro!
That's how it starts.
It's a slippery slope.
Next is unlimited breadsticks.
Now my kids can't play by the tide!
Espaguetis with platanos is different,
you know what I'm saying?
You know the sauce is different.
It's not the Ragu, nigga.
It's got it all.
It's tomato and Italian sauce.
It's tomato paste and salt, nigga!
All right.
There are places to eat spaghetti.
And it's called at home.
[EVERYONE LAUGHS]
Not at the fucking beach.
I would do it.
Bring some spaghetti.
Con platanos!
WOMAN ON PHONE: [INAUDIBLE].
She's Cuban.
Yeah.
Just bring it up, hook it up.
Bring some ham.
We need some food here.