if you are mentally or emotionally broken and you're out there in the
dating world try to find a partner you are an extremely selfish and
self-centered person and it's a problem in this video we're gonna talk about it
and we're gonna find the solution so make sure that you stick around what's
up everybody this is Chris from the rewired soul where we talk about the
problem but focus on the solution this video is a follow-up to one of my last
videos titled stop dating broken people and if you have a watch it yet go ahead
and stop this video check the info card go watch it then come back and watch
this one because this is part 2 and we're talking about broken people dating
so as many of you know I'm a recovering drug addict and alcoholic but I'm also
someone who struggled with clinical depression as well as a generalized
anxiety disorder and something that they kept telling me was don't date your
first year and I'm like why and there's a whole bunch of reasons for this but
this isn't just for people who are addicts and alcoholics so don't run away
yeah this is for anybody who is mentally broken or emotionally broken alright
something that I started to realize when I was working on myself and I was
working on my mental and my emotional health was my selfishness and
self-centeredness what's this mean everything I was doing in life was all
about me it was about me me me me me see I thought I always thought that I was a
good boyfriend you know I I cook dinner I buy flowers I get chocolates like yeah
give her money to go out and buy clothes I give her money to go get her nails
done her hair done all these things I thought this was what it meant to be a
good boyfriend but the reality was was that I wasn't in
no place to be dating anybody I was what we call taking people hostage
and what this means was I was holding these women in my life and I was making
them take pity on me and they would feel bad for leaving me because they knew how
depressed I was or you know how much worse my addiction would be if they left
me and that is so selfish and self-centred and like I mentioned in my
last video that I'll also link in the info card like I was a scummy dude
that to me is what scummy people do they know that they are broken and they keep
putting themselves out there to bring you into the mess with them and we gotta
stop doing this we gotta stop and now you're like oh
Chris but Chris I need somebody I mean I get so lonely like that's what I'm
talking about that's that selfishness of
self-centeredness you are more concerned about your loneliness than the mental or
emotional well-being of somebody else how can you truly be in a healthy
relationship if you know if you know for a fact that you can't give them
everything that they need to put it blame blatantly like I stayed single for
18 months that's right ladies and gentlemen 18 months so don't run up in
here talking to me about how lonely you are because I didn't I knew I knew for a
fact that it was unfair to bring somebody into a relationship with me
knowing that they were gonna have to deal with all this craziness up here I
decided to work on myself until I did that I wanted to make sure that I could
be everything that my partner needed me to be you guys got to go out there and
focus on yourself and work on yourself before you start bringing people into
this chaos that is our lives like if you need emotional support that's what
friends are for that's what support systems are for that
is what family is for and to be quite honest the only thing that you're
missing out on is sex that's that's just the God's honest truth that is the only
thing that you're missing like right now it's 2017 you can go out and hire a
professional cuddler right now my lovely cat is wandering around right there get
a cat get a dog snuggle with that take care of that thing show that thing love
and affection but the best thing that I learned during my 18 months of saying
single was how to love myself I never I could never fully love another
human being until I learned how to love myself see the biggest problem is is
that so many of us with emotional or mental issues we see ourselves as this
incomplete thing which is true but the the fiction that we tell ourselves is
that we need another person to fill that gap that we have inside of us and the
reality is is that that is not going to solve the problem it is not going to
solve it and might solve it in the short term maybe but you are never fully
healing that hole that you have with inside you so this is why you need to
quit chasing after relationships looking for people to fix you because a it
doesn't work and B it is extremely selfish and self-centered when you need
to do is figure out whatever your path of recovery is mentally emotionally
spiritually whatever it is you need to get to a place where it is okay for you
to date when you know that you can give the other person everything that they
need you could be self less in a relationship rather than self ish like
how is it fair to another person to let them date me pretend that I have my
stuff together and after five seconds of dating on texting them every five
minutes like why aren't you talking to me why aren't you talking to me why
aren't you showing me attention and I'm getting jealous because I'm insecure
because I still have that hole with inside me and I hope I hope I'm getting
through to some of you I hope that you're not doing this because what this
does is it only hurts your mental and emotional state even more because you
realize pretty soon in that relationship that you're not good enough for that
person so quit putting yourself in that position in the first place
wait until you are healed fully to start putting yourself back out there and make
sure that you subscribe to my channel I will do more videos on how you do this
and the process towards doing this right now I simply want you to recognize it
and getting working on yourself stay single
for a while I guarantee it will help you out all right but if this doesn't relate
to you please share it with a friend because I know you've got one who's
doing this all right but if you liked this video go ahead and give it a thumbs
up and if you haven't yet the little subscribe button is well right below
this box be sure to click it and over to the left right there click a tap on one
of those thumbnails check out some of the other videos on this channel thanks
for watching everybody I'll see you next time